issues with young mothers?

Question

ive noticed that a lot of remarks/digs are made towards young mothers and how that need to get a life and only having the children for welfare checks whats with that? i had my lil one just after i turned 20 and after two mcs dh had planned him and ive been ttc for the past 15 months ds in now 2. i really don't understand why people feel the need to attack people for having children young? i always intended to become a young mother and think the point is if your a good mother not a young,old or middle aged mother. is there a reason people are so against age issues

Answer 1

I'm all for moms of any age who are mature enough, and responsible enough, and WANT to have children for no other reason than to love, care for, and raise in a positive enviroment. However, there is an increasing ammount of *young* women that see babies as accessories, leverage, or insurance to keep a man around. I don't think it's age issue, I think it's maturity. These *young* girls barely understand their own bodies, yet alone add pregnancy. If a 35yr old said they wanted to have a baby to keep a man around, I'd tell them the same thing I'd tell a 17 yr old.... so I think you may be confusing age with maturity.... alot of the questions show a lack in maturity and then you read on and find that they're all of 15. it's assumed that maturity goes hand in hand with age, and in your case, this wasn't true. I congradulate you on being a young mom, and being mature enough to raise that child lovingly and responsibly, I also wish you luck on conceiving.... hope this answer helped :-)

Answer 2

I was also a young mother at 19, and a single one at that. I worked up until the day I gave birth, and went right back to work after my maternity leave. So there are several stigmas attached when you have a child at a young age, not to mention if you are a single parent and whether you stay at home or go back to work. I think people just like to complain about other people, they find any little instance to do so.

I agree some mothers are not completely mature, even at 30 years of age. Some girls are completely mature at 18, it is purely individualistic. Funny how, there are not the same problems with guys huh? Well, if people try to say that I am too young and blah blah blah, I just shut them up and prove them wrong. My son is my life, I would of never did anything different.

Answer 3

the issues (as far as I can see) are whether or not the child has been taken into consideration. There are too many situations now, where the young parents are too busy squabbling between themselves, and not giving thought to the life they have created. Once you have a child, you need to be above all that, and put the child first. I am a nurse. I am tired of hearing about the rights of young people - what about the rights of the child they often unwittingly created - who is concerned about that? Very often, not the parents! The child should be the priority. More consideration and responsibility needs to be taken - no one has to fall pregnant if they don't want to, but still it happens and young women often make such poor choices about their partners, often more than once - then wonder where it all went wrong when the father(s), often little more than a child himself, has disappeared from the scene! To many ridiculous, unstable relationships these days lead to mixed up, confused children - and that is the truth, no matter what your rights or emotions or decisions are.

Answer 4

This rather frustrates me too..I am 25 and the mother of 3 lil girls and pregnant for baby number four. I do not get a welfare check (though sometimes it would be nice..lol).My husband and i get looked down upon all the time. Doctors don't take us seriously(which was especially frustrating with my oldest she has severe long term medical problems)..Teachers do the same and other parents talk about you and don't think you can hear them. But you know what it doesn't matter my children are my life and i had them when i wanted to. I always wanted to have my kids farely young (maybe not at 17 but hey i made it through). My kids are wonderfull and well cared for. Both my husband and i work and we care for our children. Yes sometimes we nead help but what parents don't right. And ya know what growing up i loved having young parents myself. My parents are in their 40's now i love it

Answer 5

I think that they assume that the child was an accident or an easy way to get out of working for a living. I want to know whats happened to support for women who want to make their families their career there's lots of support for young mums, single mums and encouraging mums to go back to work. I always wanted to have kids and be a family. As it is i didn't get married till i was 23 and had my first children at 24. But had i found the right man earlier i think i would have been a young mum. Its not whether you're a young mum but whether you've entered motherhood in the right way...or taken it responsibly if you never meant to become a mother.

Hope this reads well...not very good at putting thoughts in writing. i think i mean its motives, and being responsible that matters (which probably agrees with above about its being a good mother that counts)!

Answer 6

I think being a good parent has very little to do with your age in all but one respect, as an 18-year-old can easily be a sensible, considerate, caring and appropriate role model just as easily as a 30-year-old can be a selfish, irrational, abusive tormentor.

Unfortunately, there is a MAJOR issue which is that younger parents have not had as much time to accumulate wealth and resources themselves, and they will find this harder to do when burdened with a young family, and so they are less likely to be in a position to provide well for the children. In this way, unless you are lucky or driven enough to be able to provide at a younger age, or one of the partners is older and well set-up, you are limiting your child's options.

Answer 7

I think it's ok to have kids at whatever age as long as your responsible and going to take good care of them. I prefer to have kids now as I am younger not when I am too old and it's harder lose the weight. I don't agree with young girls having so many kids like my sister she is 23 and has 4 kids 2 from different guys. She never takes care of them and usually the grandparents have them or my mom. She uses her kids for sympathy and I cannot stand that. People should be grown up mentally before they have kids and in a secure relationship if they are not married at least plan on getting married.

Answer 8

Im 20 and have a 4 month old son i hate it when the old people stare at me like i dont know what im doing i mean we have the baby so we have to look after he or she right if im a good mother and clothe and look after my baby why should people judge me because of age it doesent make any difference if your 18 or 30 this is 2006 i mean i do look abit younger someone asked me how old are you?? Your a bit young for a baby arnt you? But i dont feel ashamed i feel proud that im young i have everything i want a car, job,cute little son,and getting married soon whatever you want to do in your life just go for it thats what i say dont worry what other people think.

Answer 9

i had my 1st child a month before my 19th birthday she is nearly 5 i had my son at 21 and i intend to plan my 3rd after christmas with my new partner of a year the children ive got arnt his but hes really good wiv em i dont think u was young its not like you was 13 14 15 or 16 which i think is young i feel i had my 1st at the right age i dont care what other people think the way i look at it there is always someone that ends up saying your too old or your too young dont let it bother you what they saying all that matters is that they are looked after wiv alot of love and attention the older generation looks at marriage before sex, children etc i hope i answered your question

Answer 10

I have been on both sides. I had my first child at 18yrs and now had my forth child at 34yrs. I don't regret having my first child, but I do think that I should have waited. I think that I am a better parent now. I understand why young girls are looked down on for having children. Not all girls are having babies in relationships that are good for the child, no matter the age. As long as you are having a child for the right reasons, and can afford to support your child (no government help or parents help) then you go ahead. But, I would like all girls to be at least 18yrs old.