He keeps asking me about old boyfriends and stupid stuff like what was I like in collage. That was 19 years ago. I didn't even know him then. If I tell him anything he gets upset. Should your past be just yours or should I share every thing with him?
2006-11-01 08:03:28 · 35 answers · asked by irishlady 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
that's not a good sign.
I think I would be hesitant to marry such a man - someone who is jealous of your past boyfriends.
I would worry that such jealousy might only get worse after you marry.
2006-11-01 08:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by Zippy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At what point will his insecurities be resolved? I have been in the same boat. It doesn't end. If there's a way for you to find out why it's so important to him to have the answer to that question, do so. Maybe it's his way of being reassured of your love and devotion to him. Strangely enough, I've learned that males have emotions and insecurities that they really wish they didn't. Love him even if the "interrogations" frustrate you. If he wants to treat you like you're wrong for not answering him, ask him why does he want to be angry. The word 'past' is just that- PAST. Let him know that you aren't the same as you were then and that these life experiences has made you into the beautiful person he loves now. Then, possibly ask him what bearing does his past have on the both of you now? It is, after all, the both of you now. Isn't it? I'll be rootin' for the both of you. Love him anyway.
2006-11-01 08:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all he shouldnt be upset. That was how many years ago!!! And it seems like there is already trust issues. You were able to have a past. What happened in the past in the past. You need to tell him to worry about the future with you.! Good Luck
2006-11-01 08:19:29 · answer #3 · answered by sassy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past...He does not have to know everything...that is impossible. Does he tell you at all why he wants to know all this? Is he insecure about something? You should ask him this and maybe that will help you understand why he wants to know all this. You don't have to share anything about your old boyfriends if you don't want to. Because that was part of your life and not his so he does not need to know.
2006-11-01 08:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not share anything with him you don't feel comfortable sharing - and he shouldn't be asking you anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. He doesn't "own" you or your past; it is up to you what you want to disclose, and what you would rather keep private. To be honest, asking about one's past obsessively, and then getting "upset" over it, is an immature, insecure and controlling behaviour. If he doesn't get over it and grow up a.s.a.p., you will have many more problems in your marriage than just re-hashing the past. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you do not wish to discuss your past, end of story. Single or married, you're entitled to your privacy.
2006-11-01 08:09:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wants to think you were the perfect saint. I think it's instincutal for a man to feel like he owns you...even before you both claimed each other. But if he were to really look at and see that it's nonsense, then he could just let it go. He probably doesn't even know why he gets irritated. Tell him that his insecurity is irritating you and that you don't think he'd like it if you probed him of his past relationships. I wonder if that might make him think? Give it a try.
2006-11-01 08:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by sweeta : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who is so insecure as to want to know about 19 years ago, will have more problems in the future. Some things about your past should be left unsaid.
2006-11-01 08:08:00 · answer #7 · answered by x 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most things yes, everything no, altho honesty is the key to a healthy relationship some things should be left in the past. If he asks you a question about something in the paast dont lie, thats worse then not telling.
2006-11-01 08:07:15 · answer #8 · answered by jessih 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt have to know what you dont feel comfortable saying. Getting into detail would be bad for your relationship. Let him know that those people mean nothing to you, that you arent with them, you are with him, and it's for a very good reason. Reassure him that you are devoted to him and those people are so far out of your mind that you hardly remember anything back then because the indifferent times outweighed any good ones. What he doesnt know he doesnt know, but holding back and saying "I dont have to tell you" could be a huge problem as well. Good luck!
2006-11-01 08:08:14 · answer #9 · answered by overwhelmed85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he has a right to know, but he might get mad if he knows.
One time I was with a girl and found out she did a porn once. It was a shocker! We ended up finding it and watching it, she was very sexy and we enjoyed being with each other for about another 2 months and broke it off. It just made it a bit harder to stay serious with someone who made a video for money of her banging 2 guys with d!cks as big as my arm, try as I did to see past that...
2006-11-01 08:09:15 · answer #10 · answered by MisterO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i honestly think some stuff you shouldn't tell your partner you should leave some stuff in the past yea it is good to know your partner but i think some stuff you just should keep your mouth shut about especially if your soon to be husband is jealous all you are going to do is make matters worse by telling him so if i was you just keep all that on the down low!!
2006-11-01 08:08:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋