My fiancee is kind of hairy. It bothers me...I love him and I can accept him as is, and I find him attractive, etc, but I would find him even more attractive with a little shaving....How should I tell him I want him to without sounding mean or hurtful? Sometimes he can be a bit insecure of his looks and I do not want to lessen his confidence in any way.
2006-11-01 07:04:45 · 19 answers · asked by jrhod263 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You should tell him that you want to cover him in chocolate and lick it off but, you don't like the thought of hair in your mouth.
2006-11-01 07:09:57 · answer #1 · answered by Eddie J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might want to just casually suggest that he do some hair removal. I am not sure that I would recommend doing it directly, though. I think it would be best if you just wait until the two of you are alone together, and he seems to be in a good and accepting mood, and casually ask him if he's ever considered removing any of the hair from his body. Since he is a little insecure about his looks, I don't think it would be a good idea to mention that you would find him more attractive without the hair.
I also think a good thing to consider would be this: What if he approached you about a physical feature that he wasn't particularly fond of? Say, for instance (and this is purely hypothetical), you were a little overweight and he said that even though he was attracted to you and loved you for who you were, he would find you even more attractive if you lost ten or fifteen pounds. I am not saying this to be combative or anything, because I think you do raise a good point. In a relationship, it is important to be attracted to your partner (while accepting them for who they are at the same time). In situations like this, I just think it's good to put yourself in the other person's shoes, and think about how you would feel and would like to be treated if in his place.
Good luck.
2006-11-01 15:14:27 · answer #2 · answered by I'm Still Here 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have two suggestions for you: First, when you approach it, you should spin it in a positive way. For example, instead of saying "I'd find you more attractive if you groomed yourself up a little," you might say, "You know what would really turn me on? I'd like to see you with a shaved (chest, stomach, back, etc.)!"
If you're still feeling a little timid with this tactic, my wife handled the issue in a pretty attractive way. Offer an incentive. Tell him if he shaves his chest (or wherever), you'll shave whatever HE wants! Sure worked for the wife, and we both enjoyed the results.
2006-11-01 15:19:44 · answer #3 · answered by Dave B. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it really bothers you there's nothing you can do other than just be up front about it. but if you think your honesty in any way will hurt his feelings then you have to weigh out your choices and see what produces the best outcome, either a) you are up front and he gets his feelings hurt or what not but get his hair shaved or b) you dont tell him and he stays hairy but you are annoyed but you could possibly have c) where you do tell him and he is fine with shaving and everything is just fine and dandy
2006-11-01 15:16:33 · answer #4 · answered by Holla 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im a hairy guy and theres nothing more fun that a shower with the girlfriend. She cant get the places i cant. But the ingrown hairs are sometimes not worth it, If i shave my chest bald wearing a shirt is extremely painful.
2006-11-01 15:08:50 · answer #5 · answered by feargov 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wait until he shaves or do it with him for fun and then comment on how fantastic he looks.
Have you seen him shaved? You may not like it. Not all men look good that way. The stubble can be awful for both of you as well. It's best to see and then tell him how he looks and how you feel.
2006-11-01 15:07:29 · answer #6 · answered by Steve M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You had better learn to love him for who he is. Stop trying to change him and just let him be. Imagine 20 years from now when he is not only hairy but also wrinkly what then? Are you going to ask him to have botox too.
Stop being so superficial and just be glad that in this big huge world with so many lonely people you were able to find someone to love!
2006-11-01 15:08:48 · answer #7 · answered by bbopper 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
the first two lines said you love him and accept him as well as find him attractive. what is the problem? he is not going to start shaving on the regular and will just become even more hairer after this shave. i suggest you leave well enough alone.
2006-11-01 15:26:08 · answer #8 · answered by wise1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hate to tell you this...but... if he is hairy now... he will be even hairier as he getts older, most likly... if you can not deal with it now you wont then either... of course by there might be more effective ways to remove the over growth.... but haily is hairy and will be even harier and that is just nature.... I have a father-in-law who doubled his hair in the time I knew him... most all men get hairier
2006-11-01 15:11:50 · answer #9 · answered by IdahoMike 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
maybe you can ask him if he has ever shaved before. if he says yeah then you can ask if he would be interested in trying it again. if not than just leave it be. Hell i shave my legs cause my fiancee doesn't like it, but she asked me first.
2006-11-01 15:09:38 · answer #10 · answered by eddies_impala95 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋