Battle of Wills Regarding Food?

Question

Two of my daughters, aged 13 and 5, respectively, are very fussy eaters (the 9 year old, thankfully, does not seem to have picked up this trait). In particular, the 13 yr old has decided to try 'vegetarianism' which her mother and I are willing to accommodate within reason, however her grandfather and uncle are completely unwilling to compromise. Her uncle has gotten into several battles of will with her, trying to force her to eat meat- and not only meat, but _rare_ meat. He's an excellent cook and very interested in dietary measures, but how can I convince him his efforts are doing more harm than good?

Answer 1

You need to explain to her grandfather and uncle that this is a decision that you and her mother are supporting. You are her parents, and the grandfather & uncle need to respect that you know what is best for your child. If the grandfather or uncle get out of line, it is your responsibility to defend and protect your child. You cannot allow them to try to force something on your child that you as a family agreed to try.

Answer 2

This isn't the grandfather and the uncle's battle to fight. I think that you should take them aside and tell them that it is none of their business if she eats meat or not. If she has to eat a meal at their house, just pack her a lunch. If they can't accommodate that then make other arrangements for her. I think the fact that the uncle not only tries to make her eat meat, but rare meat is cruel and abusive and I wouldn't tolerate any one treating my child this way.

Answer 3

I think the problem here is that her uncle doesn't respect your daughter as a person. A person has the right to decide what they will and will not eat. Perhaps he should consider how he would feel if someone were trying to force HIM to eat something he did not want to eat.

Answer 4

Try explaining that eating red meat is not a requirement to get all the appropriate nutrients that your daughter requires.

For example, protien is not just in meat, but also in nut products, like peanut butter; as well as almonds and other types of nuts.

Trying to force her to eat meat will only prolong the amount of time she "tries" vegetarianism (unless she's completely serious and sticks with it!), plus will also be detrimental to her mental health and self image.

If nothing else works, you can tell them that unless they stop harrassing your daughter she won't be coming over to eat.

By forcing her (or attempting to force her) into eating rare meat, she may come to hate her uncle and her grandfather. Have they thought of this ramification? Perhaps explaining that her trust and love of them can be damaged may do the trick.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Why is her uncle getting involved in this and why does his opinion of your daughter's diet matter? You should be telling him to butt out. What your daughter chooses to eat or not eat is, frankly, none of his business. No one can force meat down her throat!! Besides, there is nothing wrong with her wanting to go veggie, but you should, as her father, make sure she is eating properly and getting the right nutrition. Don't, though, turn it into a power struggle. No one will win.

Answer 6

Children have got to be exposed to new things in terms of diet, and parents shouldn't coddle them by making them separate meals because they don't like what's on the menu. Too many parents nowdays fall into the role of 'short order cook', making different meals for everybody in the family. Young girls are growing and need proper nutrition to develop strong bones and muscles, and particularly now she's an adolescent she needs to be getting sufficient calcium and iron. Maybe you ought to consider that your brother-in-law knows what he's talking about, if he's got a background in nutrition!

Answer 7

At 13 your child is just experimenting with dofferent ideas I think. She may or may not continue with the current plan, but when the uncle steps in you could support you daughter and stop him in his tracks by saying that ..."This is what she has chosen and we are allowing her to make this decision'. if they all se that you are not going to join the nag game then they will probably lay off as well.

Answer 8

If YOU don't stand up for your daughter she will loose respect for you! If she sees you backing down to Grandpa & Uncle, it looks like you don't care for her. With all due respect -- YOU need to tell them to mind their own business or they will not see her again.