Is he worth it?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3.5 years, things lately have been rocky and we have been disgreeing alot. To tell you the truth my boyfriend has issues with himself and it's effecting our relationship. Alot. We have been living together for about 1 year now and it seems like everything has been going down the drain. He tells me he wants space and time to get himself together because he is not happy with himself and the way he treats me. He says he wants to change and be a better person but he wants to seperate (Break up) and take a little time out for him (go see a therapist). I am going to move and get a little place closer to my job so my question is to you, when he comes knocking on my door asking me back (Not to sound conceited) is he worth taking back and givin another chance? Should I just give him the space and healing time he needs to get himself together and get back with him later? I don't know what to do, this is my first love believe it or not and it's so hard

Answer 1

I dunno girl, personally, if I was in that situation and the guy came back to me after taking a "break"... I'd tell him that I'd had enough and I need space of my own now and that you wish him the best.

It's time to move on and meet more secure people and maybe even just take a break from dating for awhile and do something for yourself instead of always worrying about dating and guys.

Just follow this rule: Never allow someone to make you their option when they are your priority.

Answer 2

It seems your question is more "What do I want?" rather than "Is he worth it?". If you look at it from that perspective it seems like you both need time, him to get his head together and you to go and see what else is out there for you. You should be asking yourself questions like: "Has this relationship kept me from doing anything I was really interested in?", "Have I missed out on any events or travel because of this relationship?". If the answers to those questions are "no", then you have been in a pretty good relationship and you should be open to re-activating it later. If the answers were "yes", then you are the one who needs time to see who you are or can be without him. Either way, you should not wait around for him to get his head together. It sounds like (from your email) the relationship has soured and it may just be time to move on. If you are truly in love you will get back together, even if you meet someone else in the meantime. Bottom line: don't be afraid to be a little selfish right now, it's an excellent chance to see what else you might want for yourself.

Answer 3

I know its hard but you have to know what is really going on. If it was me I would want to know where all this is coming from because noone should be anyone's fool. Does he need space because she wants to see someone else? That's what it sounds like to me. This is what I would do: Go ahead and move out. But keep a close eye on him (secretly) and find out if he started seeing someone once you left...then you will have your answer. I have just never heard a man voluntarily admit to needing to see a therapist. That's why this sounds like he's feeding you a bunch of BS. But if in fact it is true (which I seriously doubt), then sure...take him back. Good luck.

Answer 4

ah first loves. they're always hard. yes, yall have been together for a good while, but moving in together is always a huge adjustment. i was in you bf's shoes not long ago. i had some personal issues that needed to be resolved. what i was going through was effecting a relationship i was having. it wasn't fair to him to have to go through all that b/c i had issues. it was healthier for us to give each other space. it was so hard at first. i missed him so much and he, me. in the end, i resolved my issues, and we are back in each other's lives. granted, we're are just the closest of friends, but that is how that relationship was meant to be from the start. both he and i agree on that. so, yes, if things are as he says they are, it may be better for the both of you to give each other space. that doesn't mean you can't be there for him. and yes, everyone deserves a second chance. keep in touch with each other. if it's what's best for the both of you, the relationship will survive. best wishes! God Bless You and Yours!

Answer 5

Okay i went through the same thing! He is looking to "explore" before he settles, cause chances are when or if you get back together he WILL have slept with someone else! If you can be strong and not let it get to you, then give him a chance. But, if you know that you can not except him after youre not gonna be happy. You can do what i did, do some exploring yourself.

Answer 6

Its only worth it if it will make you happy. Sounds like he has some problems to sort through.....If you meet someone else while he is sorting himself out, well too bad for him girl.

There are people out there that you will love and will love you back the correct way. If you happen to still have feelings for him when he does figure his stuff out, then just date him for awhile and see how it goes. You sound like you deserve better, he is right.

Answer 7

What did he do while you were separated? I had been married 4 years when my husband wanted out. We were apart from July to September. I took him back but, had a lot of doubts. It took me a few years to completely trust in his love again. Come 12-24 we will have been married 21 years and are happy. Thank God I had enough sense to forgive.

Answer 8

My advice to you is that you are not married or have so you dont have any tides with im if he is the one needing some space then so be it , I know It is going to be hard but He is the one with the problem not you and you dont wanna be down on your self because this can have you emotionally distrubed !! Give a fews days but dont let him drag you , You drag him and let him know that it is not that easy for you guys to part because of his own selfish ways !!

Answer 9

Just move on. 3.5 years is enough. Don't take him back if he comes around again. Be strong!

He could be making this stuff up so b/c he really can't come out and say that the realationship is over.

Sorry, this situation sucks.

Answer 10

i know exactly what ur going threw, if this is true love, everything will work out, let him have his space, and while he's doing that, get yourself together