Me and my boyfriend love each other dearly. We are together everyday and every night. Problem is as heard as we love is as hard as we fight. We don't fight often but when we do it turns into an all out screaming match and sometimes my boyfriend will push me down and throw me into doors or walls and call me names. I admit sometimes I throw a punch back but its only after he's brought me that far to the point. Is our relationship unhealthy?
2006-11-01 06:33:19 · 31 answers · asked by Jaime P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes it is unhealthy... there should never ever be anything physical when it comes to disputes. I wouldn't stay if I were you, but I am not you. If you don't want to leave him, then maybe I can offer some suggestion.
--All that time spent together makes it hard on the relationship. Try having nights out with the girls, and have him go out with the boys. Every couple needs time apart. Its more healthy that way, and absents makes the heart grow fonder. Try and have alone time or girls/guys nights out as much as you can...even if you can only do it once a week.... it still helps.
--Try talking about things instead of bottling them up. That can also help take always from the impacts of fights. Talking about things that bother you when it happens helps because the anger is not growing and growing.
--Maybe get some out side help; it really is NOT good when you two get physical... it can lead to worse things
--tell him how you feel when he pushes you. It’s not good when a man can easily be physical with you. He should always try and protect you, never ever should it be ok for you to accept the way he treats you. Let him know that you will NOT stand for the physical abuse... because honestly girl, that’s what that is... once he does something physical leave.... tell him that you are ready to talk when he is. Don't tolerate that crap anymore... if it doesn't stop after you leave. Revaluate your situation.
If you need someone to talk to let me know... I am always here to talk...leo_poppy_seed@hotmail.com. I have alot more advice, just let me know if you need more.
Stay strong and don't take the abuse anymore. You are not a punching bag, you are a human.
2006-11-01 06:52:32 · answer #1 · answered by girl_in707 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES. Any fight that degenerates into physical or verbally abusive behavior is unhealthy. It's perfectly normal to disagree and fight - but if someone has to physically hurt the other to make a point, that's not good.
You can try to convince yourself that it's just pushing now... but it will only get worse. Someday he'll take a punch at you... break your jaw... and someday a knife or gun will be nearby and someone will reach for it... or someday it will be your child that is getting pushed or punched... does that sound "healthy" to you?
Seek couples counseling right away. You can save the relationship by finding better ways to communicate.
2006-11-01 06:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone who has been abused for the past 27yrs. in 2 different relationships.Yours is not an healthy one.It will always get worse.Sorry sweetie but,I know.My last boy friend and I loved hard also,sometimes we made love 9 times a week.I often wonder how he had the time to break over 16 bones in my body during our relationship.I can't remember how many black eyes.So never think fighting is good.You might want to think your relationship over.Good Luck and be safe.
2006-11-01 06:56:25 · answer #3 · answered by star_utsf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very unhealthy! You need to talk this out, and if you can't keep from hitting and pushing each other you need to separate! I have been through this with my husband when we first got together and I explained where I thought it would end( someone getting hurt) and we both agreed to take a time out when we get that mad! Try it! It works wonders!
2006-11-01 06:38:19 · answer #4 · answered by panda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're able to take it, and you're giving as much as you're taking, I wouldn't say you were a victim necessarily. It is unhealthy, yes. If he's hitting you first, then he's sort of a loser. But if you're going to hit someone, expect to be hit back. A person can only take so much abuse and being hit before they just can't take anymore. Everyone fights differently, and most women in their life do experience their boyfriend pushing them, because being pushed isn't really serious, but if he's bruising you, then it's just really wrong.
2006-11-01 06:37:00 · answer #5 · answered by * 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship will never work out. I see in the future he will really harm you in some way or another. And if kids are brought into a relationship then it is even more trouble. You need to move on and find someone who will treat you like you are supposed to be treated and will care for you. Look out for yourself number one. Get out before it gets any worse.
2006-11-01 06:38:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very unhealthy relationship..If you love each other seek counseling or end it..I have 9 brothers and not one of them would ever hit his girlfriend or spouse no matter how mad they got..As my mother always said treat your women like a queen..
2006-11-01 06:42:10 · answer #7 · answered by kitsune12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a toxic relationship. He is physically abusive. People do not hit people they love or throw them against doors and walls. I think your idea of love is scewed.
You should leave and never see or contact him again.
2006-11-01 06:45:07 · answer #8 · answered by grudgrime 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I would say that is an unhealthy relationship. He needs to see some one for his anger problems.
2006-11-01 06:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by Cecilia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The relationship is sick. Get counseling before one of you seriously hurts, or even kills the other. If he won't go to therapy, leave him and go alone. You need to find out why you would allow yourself to be abused by another person.
2006-11-01 06:34:58 · answer #10 · answered by Kathryn™ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋