I need some mature advice.?

Question

Ok here goes. I just cheated on my boyfriend lastnight. It was stupid and ment nothing. But its not the first time it has happend. I think im falling in love with him (my boyfriend). And i feel like a total *** for what i did. But i know how it feels to be cheated and i dont want to hurt him. I want to be good to him and try to make it work. So what should i do? Should i tell him about what i did? Or should i just keep it a secret? Im really scared that i will loose him, and now i know that i only want him. But im not sure wether i should tell him or not. Im scared he want forgive me. Please help he figure-out what i need to do! Please give me the best advice you can. I have to make up my mind, im like 6 hours, when he comes to pick me up.

Answer 1

You must tell him. If he leaves you for it, then you do not deserve him. If you dont tell him then this relationship is racked with deceit and it will eventually lead to a harsh break up, most likely it will lead to you constantly accusing him of cheating because your own guilt will make you paranoid.

Answer 2

I have been there and done that trust me. It is very hard to to tell him especialy when you are scared that you are going to loose him. its obvious that you have a problem with being faithful trust me once a cheater you will always be one especially when you have cheated on him before and im teling you from experience, no matter how much you are in love with him 9/10 you will cheat again. wheather to telll him or not it'd up to you the right thing to do is tell him, but you know wheather or not he will leave you for it . To be honest more than likely he will leave you especially he he knows that A you did it more than once and B that it recently happened again and to him it's going to feel like that you didn't have any remorse for your actions the first time becasue you cheated again. The saying goes is that what is done in the dark will come to the light and it is so true. I never told my boy friend of three years that I cheated more than twice and he found about it. I say do what you feel is best think long and hard about it. I wish you the best of luck

Answer 3

Ok little lady, you must figure out how you came to have sex with someone else. What were the circumstances, and why did you have the disire and need? Believe me, it will come up again, even if you are married!! So, you must understand your own sexuality and how it relates to your boy friend. Sounds to me like you are not getting either the physical or mental satisfaction from your relationship that you need. Also bear in mind that if you have been used to having different partners, you are stuck with that urge and need the rest of your sex life. If that is the case don't tell him, you will be telling something the rest of your life. I know you feel badly, and you think that he is what you want. Well give it time and keep your mouth shut untill you figure yourself out. You are not married yet, and this is not the end of the world, it is part of growing up and becoming your own woman. Good luck and I hope you learn why you do the things that you do, a lot of people never figure themselves out untill it is too late!!

Answer 4

Here is the best thing I can tell you; the Dalai Lama says "When we have transgresed against someone we must ask for their forgiveness properly, the proper way to do this is to start by asking them to forgive us.
2) Tell them exactly what we did
: 3) Tell them why we did it
4) Promisse that we will never, EVER do it again
5) Take the necesary precautions to make sure we are never in a situation that may permit us to do it again
6) Make up to that person, do something that they want us to do what we would not normally do
7) Ask for their forgiveness again
8) If they grant us their forgiveness then we must thank them and show gratitude
9) NEVER FORGET, that they forgave us
Once we have done all these things, even if they can't forgive us we have done everything in our power to earn their forgiveness and is out of our hands"
I have used this method and has worked for me. The times I haven't been forgiven at least I don't feel so crappy for what I have done.

Answer 5

You need to put aside YOUR feelings and think of your boyfriend. He NEEDS to know the truth. It is only fair that he have this information to make an informed decision. Keeping this from him is just a selfish move to keep what you want, but then you and he will never have an honest real relationship. Maybe if you tell him exactly how you feel and your reasons for straying he can forgive you and you can move on. The mature thing to do is to do what is RIGHT and tell him. I wish you all the best, I know doing the right thing is not always easy, but you will be a better person for it, and he will respect you for that. Best wishes!

Answer 6

Well that is a doozy. I know what you are feeling. I have unfortunately been on both sides of this spectrum. If you tell him you will loose trust wiht him possibly declining your relationship, but if you dont tell him you will eat yourself alive and he might possibly figure it out later. You should know that if you cheat on someone you "love" you dont really love them. You mihgt have a huge amount of feelings but you would never do that to someone you truely love. So you decide how justified your infidelity was and go off that. Well I would say tell him just try to think what he will think and work from there, think about how he will react if you tell him, or if you will ever do it again. Well Good Luck, this stuff sucks to go through but i think everyone has to to understand theirselves and the opposite sex.

Answer 7

Ok, are you ready? It sounds like you are not ready for a mature relationship. If you can just cheat like that then it proves you have no idea of what "being in love" means. You have to tell him the truth and then if he decides to stay or go then that's it. He has a right to know the truth. I hope that you two can work things out, but if not, then you will know what to do in your next relationship.

Answer 8

Well first ask yourself whether or not there was any reason behind what you did. Is it because your boyfriend is lacking in something, be it giving you attention, or loving you like this other person does. Secondly, how would you feel about keeping it secret.. would you be able to do it without feeling extremely guilty?! If you really do like him and don't want to hurt him and will never do it again then maybe keep it a secret. Personally I wouldn't cheat on someone, if I wasn't completely happy with my partner I just wouldn't be with him! But hey its not yahoo: give your opinion! :D Good luck :D xxx (and don't do it again!!!)

Answer 9

i would not tell, good the guilt is eating away at you. make sure that you love him and it is not the guilt that is making you feel like oh, its love. remember that men have been doing this to us for years. now i am not saying that we should do everything that men do cause we cant cause we are women. i am saying that keep it under your hat, chalk it up as an experience, and concentrate on your current relationship if that is what you really want to do. however, if you are constantly cheating, then that means that you probably are not really ready to committ to a one on one relationship. and that is fine, i mean you dont have to be in an all inclusive one on one relationship if you are not ready. but if thats the case and you see within yourself that you are always cheating on this one person, then, you should break it off and give yourself time to play the field a little more, and him the chance to find someone who will be one on one with him.
peace and blessings

Answer 10

i have been in the exact same situation. except it was a one time thing. If you really are falling in love with him you owe him the truth. I was drunk when i cheated and i could barely remember it. I told my boyfriend cause i had enough respect for him that he should know the truth. i told him and then exactly how i felt about how and how it ment nothing etc. it was rough for a week we didnt break up but he made me really prove to him how i felt. we have now been together for over a year and are closer then ever. i think you should tell him or else you will always feel guilty.

Answer 11

If there is no chance he will find out, DON'T tell him. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, believe me! And make sure you know if you really like this guy. You may be cheating because you feel trapped by a relationship or you're scared of your feelings. Take things slow and if you still feel the urge to cheat, then tell your boyfriend you want to start seeing other people.