So i Have a girl I've been dating for about 9 months, we are planning on marrying, but there is one thing that is making me question her. She pretty much was raped about 6 months ago when she was drinking at this guys house (her ex for 4 years) and was pretty much raped.. It's been 6 months and I found out once she went to a bar with her friends and he was there, she was drinking again, and arrived at her apartment the same time i did, she didn't know I was there and I saw her yelling at him to leave her alone, so that kind of reassured me that it was all good, but she she would've had to move a state away if she hadn't borrowed some money from him a couple weeks ago.. But I noticed hes been calling her twice a day, she's answered, he's sending her text messages, and I told her last night besides the money stop talking to him. She couldn't say she would and we talked about it for a couple hours. should I just tell her to stop talking to him or I'll leave her? Or what should I do?
2006-11-01 05:42:56 · 14 answers · asked by Brad 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
son, yes tell her that talking to him makes you feel uncomfortable. i question about the whole rape thing. if a guy raped a her, why would she still have contact him instead of going to the police? makes me wonder. are you sure she's right for you, the type that go the bar and get drunk without you being there? this is a life long decision. you want to make the right choice. i would dump her long once i found out that she went to the bar without you. just remember that there are lots of girls out there.
2006-11-01 05:50:57 · answer #1 · answered by harmony 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that she is not over the dude I'm afraid. Give her the money to pay him back, and then she has no excuse for him contacting her again. Then tell her how you feel and give her an ultimatum. Him or you. You may get hurt now, but better than in a few years time when u are married and with kids! And what decent girlfriend gets drunk with her X? And going over to his apartment when she had a boyfriend!!! Come on, put your foot down or leave her and get on with your life.
2006-11-01 05:50:28 · answer #2 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well with all the answers you've gotten so far I think the obvious is count your losses and dump the cheating, lying, caniving, stealing little whore who you think is this so called girl friend of yours and run. Run as if your life counts on it because ultimately it does. Give yourself some time alone then when the time is right you'll find a much more better girl who's better suited for you. Good luck. But run my friend run like you're running from the plague.
2006-11-01 06:00:11 · answer #3 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't borrow money from some one who has raped you. I think she got drunk, slept with him then felt guilty and the only way she could tell you about it is if it sounded like it wasn't her fault. Also, why does she have to borrow money from her ex when she is with you? You say you want to marry her, why didn't YOU offer her the money? I think neither of you are ready for marriage. Good Luck
2006-11-01 05:51:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How canyou borrow money from someone who raped you? And why would you have any contact with them? And why hasn't she called the police? I think that if you answer these questions, you'll find you are long past due ending the relationship. It may hurt, but I think it will be for the better. Sorry, man.
2006-11-01 05:47:55 · answer #5 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find out why she feels obligated to talk to him. Is it because of the money? that may be what it is. If he raped her, can she forgive him? Why she did not get help. I am sure this is going to affect her, so be patient, and supportive, find out how you can help her. Tell her that it upsets you, that he keeps calling her, and say why don't you have his number blocked? Tell her, am I wasting my time, do you fell for me, as much as I feel for you?
2006-11-01 05:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, raped? Come now. That may be an excuse for drunken sex with the ex. And if she is supposed to be committed to you and marrying you she should have no issue with cutting ties with her ex. She is not being honest with you. Cut your losses and run.
2006-11-01 05:51:25 · answer #7 · answered by bttrfly0724 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offence, but you sound far too young to get married and so does this relationship. I think you both have a lot of growing up to do. Perhaps there will be someone else in your future...when you're ready for it.
2006-11-01 05:47:34 · answer #8 · answered by euchremother 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should postpone your plans of marrying her atlleast for now...cz dont know what she is upto..evrytimer she gets drunk n then that guy tries to rape her or what....keep a check on her pls.....then only take the decision of tying the knot with her.
Best of luck!
2006-11-01 05:51:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave her anyway. Her drunken drama and sexual activities with boyfriends and ex boyfriends and who knows who paying her foe who knows what won't make for a good wife. Can you see this drunken party-girl as the mother of yoru children? LEAVE now, and don't look back.
2006-11-01 05:46:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋