My paternal grandmother passed away and she loved my son (her first great grandson) and he loved spending time with her too. She passed and my son does not understand where she is right now. Does anyone have any suggested reading or advice on how to expalin that to him?
2006-11-01 05:30:38 · 8 answers · asked by g m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The other hard thing to explain to him (he is 3 1/2) is where my mother is, she passed from cancer 5 years before and when he asks about her or points to a picture of her and asks who that is, it really chokes me up...
Thanks eveyone for the answers so far...
2006-11-01 06:56:57 · update #1
I know what your going thru my mother passed away in June my son was 2 at the time and at first we didn't talk about it until he said that he wanted to see gammy my heart sunk yo my stomach my mother and i were very close and my son was the first grand child she really got to spend time with so they to were close. the way i told my son was that she moved into heaven and wont be coming back but he can talk to her any time he want because she is sitting on that cloud (I pointed out the window) and watching you and she can hear you what ever you want to tell her she is there okay. he started to cry not fully understanding and said okay mommy i love her. I said then tell her. he looked out the window and said three's Grammy she sees me, and I love you gammy. he has been okay since then.
Sorry for your loss but i cant tell you it gets easier all I can say is
hope you feel her with you each and every day. god bless
2006-11-01 05:48:10 · answer #1 · answered by Dakotah D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf describes the cycle of birth, life, and death. If you look on the shelf around it--kid section--at a library, there should be similar books nearby that explain death.
If he's ever seen a dead bug or a pet die, he is beginning to understand that death means you do not see them living any more, but if he has no frame of reference, it will take a long time to understand.
I'm sorry for your family's loss.
2006-11-01 13:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by LadyE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! This is a hard question.
The little guy is the most important here!
We all know he is too young to fully understand this.
But here is my best advise.
Tell him she has gone to a secret place where she waits for him to find her.
I know this may sound silly if not trite. But for a little guy who has an incredible imagination at this point in his life he will be amazed by this and only think about the wonderful adventure of finding her.
2006-11-01 13:39:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the library and get a book for this and read it to him. There is one called "Water Bugs & Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children", and others. Ask the librarian.
There are important things NOT to do. Don't say that God wanted her back with Him because then your son will think that God is bad. There are so many things not to say that can cause a young child to be fearful. Children that age are very concrete in their thinking. You don't want them to think that if you get sick you will die. Or that if he goes to the hospital he will die.
2006-11-01 13:44:45 · answer #4 · answered by tonks_op 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, be honest. Don't lie and say she's sleeping; that'll only mess the kid up later. Explain to her that passing away is part of life and nature, and that it happens to everyone. Explain that he won't be able to see her in person anymore, but that she'll always live on in your hearts and minds, and to never forget her.
2006-11-01 13:37:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It helps if you have a religious or spiritual connection. I would explain that grandma went to a place where she is happy and never sick and where she can always watch over you and your son. Just because he can't see her, doesn't mean she doesn't love him. So sorry for your loss.
2006-11-01 13:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by Honeypai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him she went to heaven
2006-11-01 13:32:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your son that God and the angels needed her back, and that she is somewhere better.
2006-11-01 13:33:59 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋