along well (last few months or so) Anyways, I have lived with him in his house for the last 3 years and in the 3 years we have produced a child, I have been a stay at home mom since birth. He works out of town and I have been the primary caregiver to our child. In the 3 years I have not worked or got a job, mostly becuase he is controlling and anytime I tried to get a job he would start a fight and do everything he could to make me turn it down, so I just stayed home with our child. There have been 3 physical assaults on me in the 3 years, I never left becuase I was scared of losing my kid. So, recently I have decided I may leave, the thing is he says I will not get custody of our child or I will not leave this house with anything but the clothes on my back, he makes well over a hundred grand a year and says if I did get the kid he would nly pay 300 in child support montly. I told him the courts would decide, he told me to *** off basically...Anyone know my rights as common law?
2006-11-01 05:18:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my boyfriend says the same to me i am a stay at home mom as well without a job everytime i try to leave he says the courts will give him custody cuz i dont have a job anyways u have reasons to leave this man tell the judge everything he has done to u just because a man works doesnt mean he gets the child right away there are ways around that...and besides judges usually favor the moms side well because shes a mom and a caregiver like u said!
2006-11-01 05:56:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact a lawyer immediately. Call around some do free initial consultations and will let you know exactly where you stand legally. If he is abusive you must remove yourself & the child from the home as soon as you can. Start pooling your resources (friends & family) tell them you are planning on leaving and why...don't hide the truth. You will be amazed at how much help you will get once you ask.
Since he works out of town you have a little space to get your affairs in order without him knowing...which is good for you. Use the time wisely, find the child a sitter for a morning so you can talk to people without "little" interuptions. You are a Mom now you have 2 people to look out for and the child's welfare is the most important.
Just because he makes good money is not a reason to stay. You have been there for the child since day one and know that kid inside & out. Don't let him threaten you.
Be strong, it will be tough but once you have your life back you will be re-born and a better person for it. Good luck to you!!
2006-11-01 13:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your rights as common law are not that different from marriage. If this were to go to court the judge would place the child with the most suitable parent. If he has assaulted you, he already has a strike against him. Him making good money won't mean s*** to a judge, except for he will have to pay higher child support. So if you want out, get out. The favor is on your side.
2006-11-01 19:51:11 · answer #3 · answered by Leanne C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing makes me madder than hearing about cases of bullying abusive husbands or boyfriends! To be very frank with you my dear LEAVE THE JERK! I love how they use scare tactics on you when you are trying to do something for yourself. Yeah right! Get a grip on your life before it's too late. If you become successful enough you won't need his child support. Call an attorney and find out what your rights are. Educate yourself. If your boyfriend is working all the time, who is going to care for your child? I think you will have the resources for that better than he will. I was abused years ago so I know how you feel. There are agencies for abused women who will help you. You can get out if you really want to. Don't be a slave to this bum because that's what you have become. It's all up to you honey. Get advice from an attorney. Good luck
2006-11-01 13:33:36 · answer #4 · answered by righteousrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you leave and there is no court ordered custody agreement whoever has possession of the child is who the police will let keep the child until a court decides as far as child support it is based on income the more income the more support and with a past of abuse it is not likely that he will get custody anyway they tend to put mom first as long as he can't prove you unfit
2006-11-01 13:27:51 · answer #5 · answered by shalechia h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know...I would report the abuse to the police...go to a lawyer...all lawyers are obligaitated to give 1 hour of free advice in Canada. If he makes more money, he is obligated to pay child support, if he refuses there is a law in canada against that. Ask the police and try pro bono and get the free advice from the lawyers... they are obligated 1 hour of free advice. Call several Lawyers and visit several lawyers. YOu don't want to raise your child around someone like that. Your child learns everything she or he sees, their brains are like sponges..good luck!
2006-11-01 13:41:50 · answer #6 · answered by Joey L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child outside of marriage with a abusive man?
You are obviously one of those clueless women that are destined to make poor, self destructive decisions forever.... WAKE UP LADY!
No doubt your parents or some family member warned you and you blew them off because YOU know better... am I right?
Now you're left to asking advice from Yahoo trolls, give me a break.
There are CONSEQUENCES for our decisions, someday you will figure that one out... probably when you are in your 50's (after having an army of "partners"), lived a life of poverty and it's too late.
You need to understand that you DON'T have a clue and find a person that DOES.... FAST!
Even if it means paying for a "life coach".
Sorry for the b*tch slap, but you need one.
2006-11-01 13:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by dave_martin_7777 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to report the abuse and if he is abusive and you have it on record then there is no way he would get the children. Find an agency...the abuse hotline or the Project Woman locally....someone knows and let them know the story, they should be able to help you. Good Luck.
2006-11-01 13:25:15 · answer #8 · answered by jenellegaines 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on your case. obviously the judge will look into this, and make the statement for the best of the child
2006-11-01 13:23:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave thats wat i would do most of the time the mother takes the babie and the father helps to pay until a certain age
2006-11-01 18:36:06 · answer #10 · answered by Trina T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋