I am recently divorced and have started dating again. I can see I do not like dating. There are teo men who I have feelings for. One is really special and he adores me and he would never hurt me . He excepts me totally for who I am. The other man that I am interested in actually said to me I need to get breast implants and a tummy tuck because it would make me a look better. And I need to work out at the gym more. By the way I am 5ft 9 and weigh 162 pounds. He also said I need to loose 20 more pounds. I don't know if this is what you call abusive because he does not use abusive words to me. This is why I am sort of lost. i am recently divorced and I am kind of at a daze I have never had someone say something like this to me before. I just want to make sure that i am hearing what i think I am so if I dump the shallow minded one I am on the right page.
2006-11-01 05:07:01 · 13 answers · asked by kimberly s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it really isn't normal for the other guy to be telling you that you need a tummy tuck and such. That is just ridiculous and.....uncalled for, really. This guy has already started to show you his true self (a jerk). I would stick with the guy that respects you and treats you well. While most people would realize the other guy is a jerk, you are recently divorced, and things are confusing for you right now. Don't make the mistake of falling for the abusive guy as a rebound relationship.
2006-11-01 05:12:38 · answer #1 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
C'mon, you know the answer to this one! Dump the one that wants you to change. It's mental abuse now but he's got a controlling personality and you don't need that in your life.
What's wrong with the one that adores you? And, if he isn't the right one for you, just remember there's lots of other guys out there!!!
You can do better than the one you are interested in. He's shallow and inconsiderate. Just because you're recently divorced doesn't mean you have to "settle" for the jerk.
2006-11-01 05:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
DUMP HIM! Before you lose your self esteem totally. If a man keeps telling you to change it means he doesn't like who or what you are. It is abusive. He is finding your possible weak spots so he can get under your skin and make you into what he thinks you should be not who you really are.. Think of it like this. If a friend came and told you that someone was saying these things to her. What would you tell her?
2006-11-01 05:16:10 · answer #3 · answered by Carrie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to what you are going through. I dated a guy and he was so good looking and had money, which I thought was so important, but he made me feel bad about myself. He constantly told me i needed to work out and I am not like 500 pounds, I am 5'6 160 pounds. DId I mention Double D's? Those things arent lightweight OK?! So he also didnt want me wearing make up and he did not like the way I dressed, he said I didn'd dress WHITE enough. But did he pay for me a gym membership or new clothes? No. I ended up breaking it off because you should never settle for a man who is going to try and change you!!! Please take my advice and go for the man who appreciates you for how you are. PLEASE!
2006-11-01 05:15:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any man that can not appreciate you just as you are will never be happy with you, because there is something lacking in HIM, but it is much easier to try and get some one else to change than do it himself. I can not see this relationship going anywhere but down for you. really thing about what you may get into the other fellow sounds wonderful but it is your choice. also remember if you can see the fellows flaws now imagine what the future may reveal
2006-11-01 05:13:53 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Breast Implant and Tummy tuck surgery is very safe nowadays. My cousin got her breast reduction, tummy tuck and facelift surgery in India by the company called Forerunners Healthcare .The Price for the surgery she paid in India was very less. She paid 30% of the cost she was quoted in America.
Forerunners Healthcare is very famous in India. They arrange cosmetic and plastic surgery for foreigners in India. I read a lot about them in the Newspapers and about their patient stories. They arrange financing for USA, Canadian, UK and other international patients who plan to have surgery abroad for low price, as the breast reduction, tummy tuck, facelift and other cosmetic surgery is not covered by insurance. They also have photos pasted of their International patients. You can checkout their website. There are huge cost savings. As a doctor I personally believe that surgery can be easily handled in India, as the quality of healthcare available In India is simply best in the world. The surgeons are USA/UK trained and facilities are 5 star.
http://www.forerunnershealthcare.com
Hope this helps.
2006-11-01 17:11:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems so obvious what you should do that I am surprised that you are even asking on Yahoo Answers. Go with the man who accepts you for who you are and in your words "Adores you" The other guy just want's a pretty gal on his arm and sounds too controlling.
2006-11-01 05:12:30 · answer #7 · answered by Wibble 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you all ready know who to be with, the one that truly adores you, the other will never be content with you as he has stated already, he's looking for a Barbie doll. To be truly happy in life you need to be YOU, one of a kind, take me as I am.
2006-11-01 05:19:44 · answer #8 · answered by Gabriele 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all you sound pretty content with yourself and if the second guy is not gonna appreciate the great person then leave him...why go through all the hurt and pain for this one guy who i highly doubt will even go through the same pain for you...honey your too go0d for that stick with the first one and go0d luck
2006-11-01 05:11:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to stay with guy number one and leave guy number two because you need some one to love you for you not change you that's not love that's abused don't do that to yourself you will lose you re mine and its not worth it thank would he change hes self for you dump that zero and stick with the hero
2006-11-01 05:26:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋