My son screams at other people in fear?

Question

My son is very close to me and so is my daughter, he just turned 2 and she is 7 months. When my son sees a family member and he doesn't want to say hi or be polite they get discourage and start being rude to him. saying he is a momma's boy and such a baby. I hate it when they say this, but how do I get my son to be more interactive with other people he doesn't see as much. I am a stay at home mom, and we see his mimi and papa once a week. I won't pay a babysitter to let him interact, because I already tried that and I don't trust people a lot. I go to play places at the amll, but should I do it more often i do it about once a week. My son and daughter are always with me and I don't want it any other way. He sometimes is different. He wants nana and hugs nana , but then another day goes by and I go there and he screams and doesn't want to go inside. what do I do?

Answer 1

Sounds like a normal (terrible)two year old. This is when he is starting to demonstrate his emotions in a series of complex physical gestures, it will start making more sense when he aquires a vocabulary.
Keep giving him tons of love and have fun with him, he is a healthy normal two year old who is also a big brother.
Anyone who says he is a momma's boy or a baby obviously has no kids so ignore them.

Answer 2

My third child was extremely shy when she was younger, and would cry when people would just look at her, let alone talk to her.
When we were home, I would practice with her on how she should act when someone says hello to her. I would say, "Ok, lets pretend that I am PaPa, 'Hello Joy-Joy, how are you," and I would make her answer. I would tell her that all she had to say was "hello." She didn't have to carry on a conversation, and I think that because she entered the situation knowing exactly what was going to happen and what to say, she could handle it better. We would go over this, and over this, and it may sound silly, but it really worked.
I explained to her that it is rude to not answer(let alone cry or scream) when someone speaks to you. I'm sure that you teach him to use manners in other areas, and this is just another area that he has to use manners, shy or not.
Before you go to Nana's, go through the whole thing step by step. Start at the moment you pull in the driveway, and explain exactly what will happen, even though he may have done it a hundred times. Tell him little things like, "All you have to do is say hello", and "You can sit right next to me the whole time". I think he will feel more in control of the situation. Also, while you are there, and you see that he is doing well, tell him that he is being very brave, and that you are very proud of him.

Answer 3

My daughter was extremely withdrawn and clueless about how to interact with other people besides immediate family. Even with kids, she was excited to see them, but didn't know what to do with them.

I found a church down the street that has a Mother's Day Out program. It's only 2 days a week and she goes in at 9 a.m. and I pick her up at 2 p.m. I have the option of picking her up earlier, like before they eat lunch, but I let her stay because it's important for her to learn the socialization.

Since putting her in there, she has blossomed and now knows how to play and loves the teachers. This was exactly what she needed because I work at home and a nanny has taken care of her in my house since she was 3 months old.

Children need to be away from the mothers for a little while so they can learn social interaction with other people.

Answer 4

I saw this a lot in Japan.

There, the children are so shielded from anyone but Mom and one or two others, that they are painfully withdrawn and socially retarded (that means they are not as adept as others their age).

Kids that eat, sleep and play with Mom always in attendance are going to be more hesitant and less socialized than kids who have opportunities to interact with others.

My advice: pry yourself away from the boy. Leave him with a babysitter two or three times a week; drop him off at Nana's or Nini's at least once a week. Take him out of the house often (2 or 3 times a week), and put him in as many social situations as you can.

The minute he is old enough, put him in a pre-school so that he can experience being with other kids, and with adults who are NOT Mom.

This is how confidence is built. You can't do it for him; he has to do it for himself.

Good luck.

Answer 5

The first problem is the way in which your distant family members are speaking about your son. It is up to you to speak up for him, and tell them that their comments are neither welcome or helpful. You are a mom, and are allowed to protect your children, which brings me to my second point. I understand the lack of trust when it comes to people outside the family interacting with your children. However, you are also setting the example for your son. You are telling him with your body language and also just by feeling it that it's not okay to trust people. That there is something he should be afraid of. When a child gets older, it is absolutely appropriate to teach them to not trust strangers, but while they are in your presence, try to teach them that it's okay to talk to someone else. It's okay to smile, and for them to smile at him. Take your kids not only to the mall, but to a play centre or drop in recreation centre in your community. You are still present, but are not so much the focus of your kids attention. There will be other kids, other parents, and your child will learn that socializing feels great, and is so much fun.
I had my daughter home with me until she started school. We did hang out at the park a lot, as well as an indoor play place. She has had as much exposure to other children as I could offer to her, but still she has some hesitance to be sociable in her large class. The other kids who have been in daycare and such have less problems. She's doing well, day by day. Had she had almost no exposure to others, well, I imagine she'd not be doing as well as she is.
So think about the future. You don't want to lend your baggage to your kids, and have it impede their skills. I know it's all very tough, and more sympathetic, I could not be. Good Luck with this!

Answer 6

Lots of children do not react well with adults that they do not know well. Sometimes a different day different attitude. But it does sound like he may have gotten some of his fear of others from you. You seem to be afraid of others yourself. Get your son outdoors to play with other kids if he does fine there then dont worry about it. It will get better when he gets old enough to remember people for longer. If he has trouble or wont play with other kids then maybe you need to discuss it with your pediatrician. Just remember that 2 year olds dont play interactively with each other but rather sit next to each other and exchange toys a lot.

Answer 7

It takes children time to open up to people, especially ones they dont see often. Everyone tells me how my 5 month old is a mamas boy too. I just say "yep, he knows who takes care of him". I was shy as a child too. I was only comfortable around people I saw often. I turned out great and am not shy at all now.

Answer 8

It's called stranger anxiety. Many kids have it because they are not exposed enought to other people. They are only familiar with people that have the same facial features or smells as the parent. Try to take him to the park often and expose him to other kids and their parents. Have him make his own picture album with family member pictures that way when he does see them he recognizes them and knows their name.

Answer 9

you should probally have him go over to his mimi and papas more than once a week and i do suggest you take him to more play groups prehaps even try volunteering at a day care were he can interact more they can both go with you to work good luck

Answer 10

You say you aren't very trusting of other people--and I think he sees that and mimics it.

If he sees that you're untrusting of someone, he's going to think that he shouldn't trust them either.

Try showing excitement about his family members. Show him that they aren't scary or mean and that he should be excited to see them as well.