He has two other children from his exwife.. and when we first got together he was still trying to get her back.. well me thinking that I can change the world tackled this relationship.. and in the mean time I lost my exhusband to suicide, went thru a miscarriage, and now he acts like he could care less what I do and never shows me any affection.. never start sex... I am at my wits end .. I need some sound advice... and he asked me to marry him in Dec. now that our baby has came along he shows no interest in wanting to get married... I recieve a check from my ex.. and he uses that as his excuse... am I hanging on to a dead branch.. or do ya'll think that he is afraid of making a commitment?
2006-11-01 04:06:43 · 9 answers · asked by apey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just because you have a child together does not by any means obligate you to stay in this relationship. In fact it is more of a reason to get out. Children can sense and feel when there is tension around and if you argue, it is no good for your child to be around that. Also showing no affection and caring in the relationship will not teach your child the right way to love.
I mean, from the beginning you should have known that it was not going to work out if he was still trying to be with his ex while he was seeing you. Why would you put yourself to be number 2?
I have learned through experience that you cannot change a person, they have to want to change themselves. I doubt that things here are going to get any better. If he loved and cared about you, he would not be acting so cold to you and he would be trying to fix any problems that you have.
I would get out now, and get yourself straight and stable. Then when you are in a place you want to be in your life, you will be able to find a good, stable, long lasting caring relationship, which we all deserve. Dont ever settle, and make sure that you keep yourself and your child number one.
2006-11-01 04:15:05 · answer #1 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to be meaning because I know love is blind, but he does not want to be with you anymore. He could love you with his whole heart, but not be in love with you at all. As a women who has gone through some heart wrenching experiences myself those experiences give you a stronger more intense level of intuition so you already know what the answer is the question is how do you plan on dealing with it. I am not going to judge or criticize anything you have done because no matter what people say you will never know what you will do when you are in love until you get there and realize that you are doing it.
This is a bad situation, and it was a really big mistake getting pregnant. Not that your child was a mistake, but you and him made an already bad situation go to worst. Also every woman wants to feel wanted and if you have to initiate sex then how long are you going to be ok with that. To bottom line it I think he has fallen out of love with you but stays for the same reason you are staying and in your heart you know what that reason is. Good luck.
2006-11-01 05:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve much more than what you are getting at the moment and it seems to me that the man you are with makes no effort to please you at all. In your heart I am sure you know that this relationship is not good for you and you just have to make a decision on where to go from here and I hope it is away from your current boyfriend. Your main concern should and must be the well being of your baby and growing up in a family where the father treats the mother like this, is not healthy for the child´s development. Leave now and give yourself a chance to meet real love and find somebody that will try his best to fulfill your dreams and needs.
2006-11-01 04:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by Eileen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first clue here is that he was still trying to get her back when first got together. That should have sent up a huge red flag from the beginning. I don't think that you recieving a check from your ex should be an issue. I mean, it's extra income that in this day & age would help a whole lot. Try sitting down & talking to him about the whole thing & see where it leads to. If you're still unsure of where he's at in it, then perhaps it's time to move along & find someone who treats you with respect & dignity.
2006-11-01 04:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad to say, this guy never loved you. Still doesn't. You said he was still trying to get the last woman back when you got pregnant. Take him to court to get a financial child support arrangement and a visitation schedule so your child can see him periodically. Then, pack your things and move out. This is not the guy for you.
2006-11-01 04:12:11 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BAD NEWS: He already has children, your relationship was already rocky and you add a baby to all this Girl you done cooked up a mess
GOOD NEWS: He is going to leave soon YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-01 04:40:54 · answer #6 · answered by jkfranklin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't sound very happy. i would have to say you probably have a better chance at a happy life for you and your child if you move on. some things you can't change, and people, they have to want it. good luck at making a good life for your child and yourself.
2006-11-01 04:13:35 · answer #7 · answered by Renee B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your knees together when he is around...and pack your bags and move along.
2006-11-01 04:09:21 · answer #8 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time to move on... you deserve to be happy as does your baby.
2006-11-01 04:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by Alisha S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋