ok i serisouls am into this guy but i think all his life surrounds by are drugs do you think it would be right of me to ask him to pick me or his drugs.....i dont mind the alcohol or maybe just a lil drugs but he is constantly high or drunk when i see him...please ppl help me out??????????????
2006-11-01 04:05:13 · 28 answers · asked by ashers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why should you have to compromise on something like this? Don't you have some integrity?
The only kind of life you can have next to a person like this is a life of misery, hell, major headaches and problems day to day, unless you are a glutton for punishment, you are way too young to ruin your life so soon.
Don't you know you are worth it? Do you not love yourself to do that to yourself and be with someone so screwed up?
You need to seriously wake up and take a look at yourself, ask yourself why do I want to be with a person like that? Of course you need to tell him, but it is very unlikely he will pick you, he has an illness, an addiction, it's beyond him, he must want to change and get some help, as people don't change, and we are unable to change them, unless they want to be helped. You sound very young, don't look for love in the wrong places.
When you say you are so into this guy, ask yourself why, if it's just a physical thing, you really need to look beyond that, for some reason I don't think you'll leave him, if you don't you'll experience a lot of negative stuff, your life won't be a life of happiness, why do you want to have this kind of negative influence and bad example, it's like if you see danger ahead and you don't skip it or avoid it, if a car is coming towards you head on, obviously you'd do something, so you don't have an accident and pain right? Well the same exact thing applies here.
Please wake up and know you can do much better than that, first of all you need to focus on your school and education, so you can have a great future, don't get mixed up with the wrong people ever, that will determine a lot in your life in the long run, so now you've been warned.
If you continue on with this, don't say nobody warned you.
Take care and be careful with your decisions.
2006-11-01 04:19:10 · answer #1 · answered by You are loved 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound pretty young so unless you want a life of striff then you'd be best to give him the ultimatium of drugs or me. You could also attend either ala-non or narc-anon, self help groups for family and friends of people with substance issues. Whatever your decision is please do not feel responsible for his use, even if it increases a bit if you decide to remove him from your life. Alcohol and/or drugs are the number 1 loves of people with problems with them and their family and loved ones are way down the list. You will find someone someday that does not have these issues and you'll feel much happier and not need to be a saviour in the relationship. Best of luck to you in making your decision.
2006-11-01 12:12:46 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, this is not a guy you should be with. And asking him to pick you over the drugs would only be a temporary solution. If he's going to kick drugs, he has to do it for himself and himself only. You are asking for a lot of problems if you stay with this guy if he is unwilling to get help for himself. Good luck to both of you though.
2006-11-01 12:07:57 · answer #3 · answered by DMBRocks73 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like trouble with a capitol 'T'. I am sure he would make a perfect role modle for any children you may have.... NOT!!!
Consider jumping off a high diving board into and empty swimming pool. The end result is the same, just quicker.
Dump the dude and find someone worth your time.
2006-11-01 12:19:52 · answer #4 · answered by Mr Cellophane 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead! Give him the ultimatum; Me or the drugs. If he picks you- great! If he doesn't- screw him, he doesn't deserve you anyways!
But if he picks you there's always the possibility that he'll keep doing the drugs and just keep it hidden from you. So, be careful. keep your eyes and ears open and don't put up with anyone choosing drugs over your feelings.
2006-11-01 12:11:29 · answer #5 · answered by p_lo25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs the help, not you!! You, by putting up with his addictive behavior, are telling him that it's OK for him to act that way. You are an enabler. Find a boyfriend that has higher expectations than a good buzz.
2006-11-01 12:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by My 2 Cents 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him go because his drug/alcohol addiction is ruining your relationship and ruining his life. Addicts have to figure it out on their own. Maybe he needs an intervention. Talk to his family about it. Offer him to get help but ultimate he is the one who needs to realize it in order to seek help. In the meantime, cut off ties with him because he is putting you at risk for violence, emotional distress and STDs.
2006-11-01 12:07:47 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
asking him to pick will see you gone in a second. life is depressing and he needs this to cope, no amount of love can give him the mental relief of drugs. he will only stop if HE wants to, otherwise accept it or move on in life.
2006-11-01 12:10:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend is beyond a "casual" usage pattern then there is a real potential that he will not be able to manage a successful relationship with anyone.
2006-11-01 12:09:04 · answer #9 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you want to get pulled into drugs and alkie. Stay with him. But if your smart and love yourself, get yourself out of that. He is a loser if he has to or likes to get high and drunk everyday.
2006-11-01 12:07:16 · answer #10 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋