I'm a single mom with 2 kids, I'm finding it very hard to met a guy who just doesn't want a one night stand or who isn't a player, is there any good guys out there who isn't afraid of a single mom. If you a man & going to reply back to this stop & really think before answer this we are no different than those women out who hasn't been married or those ones who don't have kids, why do you men freak out when you hear their's kids involved, & I hate it when a man tells a friend he's just not ready for a ready made family, that family when their before he was.
2006-11-01 03:47:14 · 27 answers · asked by mssassy0104 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are good guys out there if you keep looking, it's just that too often you find the bad ones. Don't give up though!
2006-11-01 03:50:40 · answer #1 · answered by Lucy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat - single mom with one child. Between school activities and long work hours, I don't get a lot of time to go out and meet guys in the first place. I always wonder when the best time is to tell the guy about my daughter. I usually wait until I feel like the relationship looks like it might be heading in a serious direction.
If he knows about your kids and then uses them as an excuse to end the relationship, I doubt he's telling the truth. He probably just doesn't want to be in the relationship. Or maybe he didn't realize how much work it would be to date a single mom, in which case you've made him think twice about doing that to someone else.
Hang in there - there's good ones out there...at least that's what they tell me.
2006-11-01 04:14:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys that do that think there still in grade school, and do not want someone else responsiblities, I have 3 children and 31, and I finally found someone who loves me and my children, I would not date anyone who did not respect me or my children I am a package and I do not care, but we all deserve to be loved and cared for, but just be carefull when you do find someone who does not care if you have kids and will enjoy time with you and the children, sometimes there looking for that mother figure as well, but this one is easy the guys or should I say boys refuse to grow up, and do not want some other guys/mans kids in there life, this is an ongoing issue before I was born even my mother was born, sometimes I think why couldn't it be like in the old days guy gets girl pregnant marries her and supports the family, but it is now the 2000 yr and guys no longer want responsiblity they want to be that little boy for life, mind u not all guys are like that, just keep looking and remember do not settle for a guy that wants another mother in his life, but one that loves you and your family there are still a few guys out there like that, not many. Good Luck!
2006-11-01 03:55:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
brutal honesty.
1. If someone isnt ready to "settle down" then forget it. being with someone who has kids is like being married in a way. Many men dont want to just BAM be in a relatioship that resembles marriage.
2. Men dont want to get all close to children knowing that because you arent married there is a chance they could hurt the children by breaking up with you.
3. They are single and dont have kids. Being with someone with kids makes a man feel suddenly tied down and obligated to provide love and care for all of you even though the kids arent his, which can be awkward.
4. and for the last main reason. They dont want kids getting in the way of the relationship and they know that they no doubt will, which is an instant problem before you even get started.
2006-11-01 03:55:01 · answer #4 · answered by Bistro 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most Men are immature and are not ready to take on the responsibility and some men just don't want to deal with the baby daddy drama. But, yes there are men out there who are not afraid of an already made family i found one and so will you. Try going to some type of singles club or meetings their are also single fathers out there with kids.
2006-11-01 03:53:38 · answer #5 · answered by L@M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what i see going on here is that you are looking at boy's... take a long look at what you realy want a man to be, then look at the guy's that you've been looking at... they arn't the same...
now, go back to what you want from a man, and find him...
on a side note, many men (that i know) don't want to be with a woman that has a(any) kids because they don't feel that their ready to be a father to kids that age... they want to start from a baby... so they learn as they go...
personaly, i'd rather skip the baby part... no dipers, less being woken up in the middle of the night...
but in that case, you also skip the part where there is no kids at all... taking each other in all area's of the house:)
it's all a give and take...
one piece of advice, keep the kids seperate to begin with, don't expect, or even ask him to do something for the kids in the begining... that'll help keep em longer i think...
2006-11-01 03:55:57 · answer #6 · answered by Junior1544 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a single mom and I can tell you there ARE guys out there that will accept your children. If they don't want to accept your kids, they aren't for you anyway. I don't know how old you are but most of the time a guy a bit older than you will be more willing to accept your ready made family. My boyfriend is nine years older than me and it is great. Guys my own age aren't ready for the life I have to live.
2006-11-01 03:51:24 · answer #7 · answered by plegue4936 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are opposed to "ready made families" because the father of these kids is usually an ****** who makes their lives a living hell OR the kids misbehave because they haven't been made to act right. Then there are some guys who just want a woman who can take off at a moment's notice without having to worry about who'll watch the kids. Then... there are decent guys who'll love you no matter what.
2006-11-01 03:50:34 · answer #8 · answered by My 2 Cents 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are out there, they are just harder to find. When I was single I met several single moms that I saw the potential for a long term relationship with. The fact they had kids did not scare me away. In fact to some degree I had more respect for them and the fact that they managed so well to have such great lives and were able to provide for their kids. I think you just have to continue looking and be picky till you find the right guy who will respect the fact you have kids and your only interested in a very real relationship.
2006-11-01 03:59:53 · answer #9 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you loved him when the two of you were together and love is something that, when its true love, never dies. It'll fade away with time in most cases but in some it may take a lot longer. However, i dont think its him you're still needing. In general its possible that you are just craving somebody to help you raise her and support her, so she can have a father figure in her life. it may not even be him you actually want in your life (although i can understand why you would since he's her biological father) but like you said, you know better. she deserves somebody who will be there for her at all times and support her like you have. every child deserves the best and there is somebody better for her out there and somebody better for you. If he would clean up and get off the drugs (if he is in indeed using) then maybe he'd be a better man for you and for her but its hard to trust that and the chance of that happening is slim. its not him you need, its somebody (a man) in general to come into your life and be there for you and your daughter. Just give it time, itll work out, nobody wants to put their kid into a situation with a guy like that. Good luck!
2016-05-23 02:53:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sassy,
There are plenty of men who do not freak out when they hear that the lady they wish to date have children. I think it comes with the level of maturity and self confidance the particular man has. Just know that men who are not scared by the so called "Ready made family" do exist.
2006-11-01 03:51:51 · answer #11 · answered by tom4texas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋