but I don't know if I want to continue. When we met last year at work, we didn't hit it off at all. But this past February, after joking with each other, we ended up exchanging phone numbers. Our conversations led to a date...which led to an "us". At first, he was very attentive, considerate, sweet, kind...the whole nine yards. That was 6 months ago. Now, all that has changed. He is studying for an accounting examination, and I must admit that he needs to devote quite a bit of time to his studies. But it seems as if he finds time for everything else (outside of his studies and work) except me. Little things that he used to do, such as sending e-cards, love notes etc. have stopped. The only time he will do those things is when I get upset and talk to him about his complacency. I could expect this if we'd been together for more than a year, but so soon? Also, since late, I've stopped going by his home for sleepovers...only because I want him to miss me more. Thanks in advance.
2006-11-01 03:45:32 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, from a guy's perspective, it's often difficult for us to be sweet, kind, and attentive while trying to be focused on something that requires a lot of attention. While I haven't personally been through the CPA exam, I've had two friends go through it and I wouldn't want to!!! The books and the dry information that seems to be endless are enough to suck every ounce of libido from anyone!
If you are looking for him to dote on you constantly, then perhaps you need to re-examine your expectations, especially during this point in his life. I'm guess his studing for his career is taking priority over sleep and eating, not just you. Be patient. He still has deep feelings for you, but is currently distracted by the overwhelming amount of information he is trying to absorb for his exams.
2006-11-01 03:54:47 · answer #1 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the "honeymoon" phase is over. In most relationships there a period of time where you both still get that tingly feeling and you both want to be around eachother 24/7 and do sweet things for eachother all the time. Then after a while you don't need to because you're comfortable and happy and don't need to impress eachother anymore. Unfortunately after this honeymoon phase is over it feels like the relationship is just flat and that the "spark" is missing but I don't think you should give up. You're just in a different phase now. Try and be content with being a partner with him not just a romance interest. Just because he isn't doing the romantic things doesn't mean he still doesn't feel the same way as before.
2006-11-01 04:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys do settle in & quit with all of the little things that we ladies love! Once they've "got us", they don't feel the need to pursue anymore - thus, all of the special stuff they do that really hooks us into them goes by the wayside. Furthermore, guys are really pretty dense. They don't take hints well, they really dont' understand subtle hints at all - you have to practically smack them over the head to get what you want! So not going over for sleepovers won't make him miss you more - but it will leave the door open for someone else to waltz into his life. If you love him, be prepared for this to remain as it is. He's stopped with his "date" behavior & you are seeing the real him. If you aren't seriously involved or don't love him, then perhaps you should move along. Easier said than done, I know. But you've already talked to him about what you need/expect & it didn't work. And if he can find time for everything but you, then maybe he's begun to pull away. Getting upset at him isn't the answer & does nothing but mess you up, not him. Sit down & talk to him - one more time! - & ask him what he wants, where does he see the two of you going with your relationship, how he really feels about you. Be straightforward with him, don't play head games or be coy. He needs to explain to you what's going on with him. Then you decide if it's something you want, or not . . .
Good luck!! I hope this helps!
2006-11-01 03:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this but the honeymoon phase of this relationship is over. This is the time where you get to know one another as real ppl. With the accounting exam I can understand his head being all over the place. This exam means alot to him...it's his lfe work all put into one huge test. Do you talk to him everyday??? Do you at least see him once a week or more??? If so he's into you... just a bit distracted. We all go through periods like this. I'm sorry to say my guy has never sent me a just because e-card or note or anything...but we share alot more, we talk and communicate. It's the big things thatmatter and the important little things like having fun together. You not staying over seems selfish...do you miss him??? If you do you're also punishing yourself.
If I you were I'd just take it as it comes and see how it pans out...that's best advice I can give.
2006-11-01 03:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like things have changed but were you really into him in the beginning? I'm currently reading "Be honest - You're Not That Into Him Either" by Ian Kerner. It's a book about standards and why women are settling now more then ever; it's kind of funny and informative , it's not a lot of psych babel bull s***. Good for you for knowing what you want and standing your ground.
2006-11-01 03:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by jewles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if this exam he's about to take is pretty much consuming most of his time. Those are tough exams. Be patient with him for a while. Once the exam is over, if he is still not as attentive, then have a talk as to whether he feels your relationship is going to make it. He worked hard to win your love, he just doesn't have the time right now to work so hard...you expect a lot....maybe too much.
2006-11-01 03:50:48 · answer #6 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, sorry to hear this, but I think you already know where this is going. BUT if you sincerely want to save this relationship you need to sit down with him and ask him up front where he is as far as you and he are concerned. And tell him everything you have mentioned here. You need at the very least some of the attention from him. If he can spare this time you mention for himself he can surely commit some time for you. If not just tell him C YA!
2006-11-01 03:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
True love is not found in a man. Mans love comes and goes like the very thoughts we have throughout the day.But God has such a perfect plan for your life. He even has the perfect mate for if you only trust him.
A mans love flows like the wind
But the love of our Lord Jesus can forgive any sin.
God Bless.
2006-11-01 04:21:50 · answer #8 · answered by focused 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is true that he should be more attentive to you. Of course it's understandable that he's under alot of pressure studying but that isn't a good enough reason for him to put you on hold without any consideration to your feelings.
Don't let him get away with this behavior, tell him that he must sort out his priorities and let you know where you stand.
2006-11-01 03:51:17 · answer #9 · answered by cgc17788 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like an end of a relationship. Of course I can't be sure, you should talk about your feelings once more to your bf, and ask what is going on. Say him how you feel, and ask him how he feels. There's no use in going on, if one of you had have enough...
Sorry. Take care.
2006-11-01 03:52:29 · answer #10 · answered by Eyeline 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋