He hits me if I raise my voice to him, if I don't answer him. And the other day my 7 month old son sick and crying, so he slapped his leg and left a hand print. I told him that he is NEVER to hit my son again and he said that the baby stoped breathing so he had to. But I never heard him stop crying. I know he did it because he was agervated with him. I love him so much and he starts counsling this week but I don't think he will ever change. Please help me, I don't know what to do. We have already been to court over him hitting me but he's still here. Howw can I get him to stop?
2006-11-01 03:43:05 · 47 answers · asked by samanthad06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Samantha I think it is truly time to get out of that situation- I know you say you love him but let him get his help and you can be supportive but get out now! He is physically abusing your child and you and it will not stop! You have already been to court on this once and nothing changed. Please try and find a family member or friend to help you get out before your baby doesn't have a mother!! Best of luck Samantha!!
2006-11-01 03:48:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave him! He will never change, he may beg for forgiveness and say he's sorry and that it won't happen again and then the same thing happen over and over again. After someone hits you the first time it gets easier and easier and then the violence become more severe. You shouldn't put yourself or your children through that and it would hurt your children more to see their mother go through that. Plus, if you have any sons they could grow upto be abusers and if you have any daughters they could grow up to be in an abusive relationship. He might want to change and try, but, it is very hard and counseling doesn't always work unless he really wants it to work. He might not like being abusive, he probably grew up that way and he does need help and its great he is try to get it but, you and your children can't wait for him to get his life together, because in reality he might never change and then where does that leave you and your children. A man never have a right to hit a woman ever, not for any reason and he had no right to hit your child. You have to protect yourself and your children. So, please get youself and your children out of that situation. Seek help and support!
2006-11-01 04:13:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this isn't easy to decide but leave him to put it as blunt as I can you may die if you stay my 28 year old daughter was killed by her BF 12/05. I thought they were fighting but she always said he doesn't hit me well I found out afterward that he was and in an argument 1 night he took a gun and shot her she died within 45 minutes Please don't let this happen to you. You have a son and he could end up with neither parent there are domestic abuse centers if you don't have any place to go try CHOICES for 1 they will keep you safe and help you get a job and a place to live. If your BF goes to counseling and truly starts to change then maybe he can start seeing his son but if he hits your son again you could also lose your son to children's services fpr failure to protect him. You are a smart enough person to ask for advice now be smart enough to take your son and get the hell out! violence begets violence stop the cycle!
2006-11-01 04:07:10 · answer #3 · answered by katlady927 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing and we had a son together the only way it stopped is that i left him and took are 6 month old son with me. take it from me my family has went through this all their life my mother and 4 of my sisters. the only way it ever stops is to leave them. And if he is hitting your son you need to leave right now. counseling does not help. My family tried that one before. you need to get out of that situation. before something bad happens to you and your son. If he gets aggravated about the boy crying then what will happen when the kid gets to be about 1 and wont stop so many baby die each year from being shaken or something. if you need to talk e-mail me okay
fairies_n_flowers2003@yahoo.com
also if you leave don't go back to hI'm trust me it will start again they always say im sorry I've changed for the better i love you blah blah blah, then in about a month it the exact same thing. and if you cant do it do it for your kid. think of him he is why you need to leave sweety.
2006-11-01 05:26:34 · answer #4 · answered by Dakotah D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to not be living with him while he goes through his counseling. It is admirable that he is going, but it can take a LONG time to get those types of issues worked out - if he ever does.
In the meantime, you and that baby need to be away from this man. He has control and ager issues and he could end up killing you and that poor child, and you both deserve better than that.
I know you will say that you love him, but really it's that he has broken your spirit so that yoiu think he is the only one that will "love" you. It really isn't love at all on his part.
Leave now. Things will work out financially, etc. Better to live without cable TV and cell phone, nail appts, etc and be safe than have those things and be in a bad situation.
2006-11-01 03:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by island3girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so, why is he still there???? or why are you still there?? its bad enough when a man hits a woman and she makes the choice to stay with him { cause she loves him } but he is now hitting a 7 month old that has no way of defending themselves or walking out. this is up to you to protect this child, and if you don't then you are just as bad as he is, and you should be ashamed of your self.if you don't know this already, maybe you should look it up, that it always starts out as a slap then gets worse, end at times the child ends up dead. i know this is not what you want. i think if not for you but for your baby, you need to get out of this and now!!im sure i wont be the only person giving you this same advise, now what you do with it is up to you.if you decide to stay with this abuser, that going for help next week. and something happens to your child, then you will be the one looking in the mirror and asking your self why?????
2006-11-01 08:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run, do not walk, to the nearest domestic violence shelter, get counseling and get the hell out of that relationship.
You've already been to court for his abuse? Do you know that if the court finds out that he has abused your baby and you did nothing to get the child out of that situation that the child could be taken away from you?
Why in the world would you stay with a man who hits a 7 month old baby? If you don't care about getting beat, think about your child!
2006-11-01 03:48:16 · answer #7 · answered by silver2sea 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion a man that hits a woman is no man at all. You need to get out of that abusive situation NOW. Once they hit you it usually doesn't stop. Do you want your kids growing up hitting their girlfriends and their own children because that's what is going to happen if you continue to stay with this man. Leave and get a protective order against him before someone (you or your children) are hurt or possibly killed by this person that i won't even call a man. He needs to pick on someone his own size and hopefully that person will kick the crap out of this jerk wad.
2006-11-01 03:50:55 · answer #8 · answered by Darcee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I have heard it takes 5 attempts before a woman leaves an abusive partner.
Don't take 5 tries, you have to leave this guy. LOVE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HURT!!!
Don't wait till he hits your precious baby too hard across the head, and your son gets permanent brain damage.
You said yourself you didn't think he will change. He's still there? You don't have to be. Get yourself and your son to a shelter. TODAY!!!! Call up a neighbor, co-worker, friend, relative, whatever to help you.
I'm so upset for you, and I hope you realize this is life or death. Please don't delay.
2006-11-01 03:47:53 · answer #9 · answered by bon b 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to be mean but get out quit being stupid. And he has to help his self what do want your child hurt really bad you hurt or either one of you dead what then say i should have left I hear about this all the time and wounder what is the matter with people there is no way you would let anyone smack you or your kid why would you let some one you love they are the people that supposed you want safe this stuff makes me sick
2006-11-01 10:03:34 · answer #10 · answered by helen l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋