My husband (39 yrs old) of 13 years asked for a divorce 4 years ago. I told him that this is an easy way out, and we should work it out. That was the end of that conversation. Years went by, and no discussion about this. We went on living as a great happy couple. I also felt how he really deeply loved and cared for me. There were no signs that our marriage is bound to break. However, he walked out 5wks ago while I was at work. It was a total shock to me and to all our families and friends. He said, I knew about this 4 years ago. Since then, he's got new sets of friends that he hangs out to drink, almost everynight. He also met a woman, older that him, divorced with 3 kids. According to him, they just kissed and she's just gonna be a "friend". He has no idea what I am going trough. I still love him very much and I want him back. But I want to tell him the pain and agony he caused me. How do tell him to make him feel bad for what his done?
2006-11-01 03:25:41 · 16 answers · asked by betrayed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's too bad you didn't go for marriage counseling when you had the first conversation that your husband wasn't happy in your marriage. He tried to make it work, by staying, but in the end he didn't love you enough...or he thought he didn't love you enough. He hit a mid life crisis and left. The biggest thing you could do to possibly get him back is to gain his RESPECT. Get a job, take care of yourself and the family (if any kids), and move forward with your life. Join a gym, volunteer somewhere, build your own life. When he sees this, he may decide he likes what he sees and come back. If he doesn't, you have gained self-respect and can hold your head high. The pain will go away gradually and you will one day be fine and feel great about yourself. Good luck.
2006-11-01 03:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that he's had 4 years to think about the guilt thing and thats why he left. He doesn't feel guilty anymore. If he's HAPPY with his new life, then be happy for him if you really want him to be happy. Any kids together? If not be thankful at this point.There are many men out there ready to fill his shoes and make you happy but only when your ready and accept he's moved on. If he has, tell him to get him a lawyer and give you divorce papers to sign but not to sit on the fence. Tell him *hit or get off the fence, then ignore him, make him wander what your up too .
2006-11-01 03:35:21 · answer #2 · answered by CryBaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me he has been seeing this girl for some time... I know it hurts more than anything... You need to accept that it is over. The healing process is different for everybody. Sounds like he is having a mid life crisis. If you ever did take him back, how can you ever trust him again? When will be the next time he leaves? He tells you they are just "friends" to keep you from getting hurt. Which I give him credit for that. But seriously, you deserve somebody who will stick by you and not lie to you. GIRLFRIEND, time for a makeover... Go shopping, lose weight (if you need to), get your nails done, get your hair done, get some new friends, and enjoy the rest of your life. You will probably always love him. But he doesn't deserve a girl like you. Good luck!!
2006-11-01 03:35:09 · answer #3 · answered by Rochelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that a man would of handle this in a better way. Tell him that if he knew that he was going to leave you he should have gave you a time frame or something. Tell him that you wish him all the luck in the world, and you for give him! Than move on!!! Cause you see...
What goes around, comes around! You better believe that the same way that he left you...Some one is going to do him the same way.
I know that it is easy to say this, but the sooner you move on with your life the better it will be for you and the sooner you will be meeting somebody else.
2006-11-01 03:32:56 · answer #4 · answered by Child of God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bullies are usually obvious, but not always. Some signs: * You are being threatened in any way. * Demands are being made that are unreasonable. * You are unequal in size or intelligence. * Using their authority to scare you. * You are being excluded. * Information is being withheld for no reason other than to place you at a disadvantage. (ie..whispering around you) * Negotiating is not an option given you. * They talk down to you or are patronizing. * You feel threatened by anothers actions (verbal or non-verbal) such as a gesture, look, written note or spoken word. ***************** If you are being bullied, keep yourself safe, but don't back down. Tell someone...a lot of someones. Teachers, Principals, Police, Parents, etc. Don't engage them into a shouting or name calling match. Bullies are really ignorant frightened people. Embarrassing them in any way (as much as you would like to) can make things much worse. Take a class in self defense, should it ever come to that.
2016-05-23 02:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A hiker (yr husband) who ripe apart the beautiful web that the spider (u) had delicately wove. Let him understand how selfish the hiker is to destroy the web, simply bcos it obstruct his passage of move. And make him understand how difficult it is for a spider to build a complete web with delication and time. The hiker's action is similar to yr husband. Let him understand that. Hope this example can help u save yr marriage. Good luck.
2006-11-01 03:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest to allow some time for the healing process to begin, to calm down. You should then arrange and meet with your ex and explain your feelings. You should make him fell that he needs you, not to let him feel bad. Remind him the good times you had and try to figure out the kind of required changes so that your life changes to the best possible way.
2006-11-01 03:31:32 · answer #7 · answered by Alexandros 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MORE THAN LIKELY HE ALREADY FEELS BAD ENOUGH AND WOULD NEVER LET YOU KNOW THAT AND YOU NEED TO WATCH DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN...IT IS SO FUNNY YET REALLY HELPFUL... IF YOU KEEP MOVING FORWARD AND DONT LOOK BACK YOU WILL BE THE ONE THAT COMES OUT ON TOP... AND PROBABLY WITH A MUCH BETTER AND MORE HANDSOME MAN
2006-11-01 03:29:53 · answer #8 · answered by ***BUTTERFLY*** 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he wanted out a long time ago. you can tell him how you feel, doesnt mean he will feel bad for what hes done. best thing is to seek counseling for your depression.
2006-11-01 03:30:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately if he has resolved this in his head there is not much you can do he has been weening himself off the relationship before you even knew what was going on it is so unfair but would you really want him if he doesn't want you
2006-11-01 03:38:26 · answer #10 · answered by tigerella69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋