my mother favorites my brothers 12 and 20 years old. But when it comes to me i do everything wrong. I was close to my father but hey had a divorce and he passed away a year ago im 17 but she wont let me move out i have places to stay and have a job. IM GOING CRAZY HELP. tell me how i should deal with this. she is always argueing..
2006-11-01 03:17:14 · 16 answers · asked by curious girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Suck it up...you cant do a darn thing about it until you are 18 so deal with it.
2006-11-01 03:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by Sunspot Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe because she is legally responsible for you -- in most states, a person is not considered an adult until they reach the age of 18.
Hey, don't get me wrong here, I'm with with you. When I was that age (and on through college) my mom said and did things that drove me up the wall. People at this age don't want to be coddled or nagged at by their mothers because they want to prove to themselves and others that they can stand on their own two feet.
As far as moving out goes, your 18th birthday will be here before you know it. Are you ready? Notice that I didn't say, "Are you anxious to get out." There is a difference, you know. When I first moved out of my childhood home into an apartment, I thought I was ready. Boy, did I get a rude awakening! I knew that there were expenses involved, but I found that I was woefully unprepared for the amount.
If you are not saving up money in a savings account, you might want to start ASAP, because there are such things as security deposits, down payments, etc., for things as phone service, cable, rent, and utilities, not to mention the consumable stuff like gasoline, groceries, and toiletries.
Also, do some advance planning like getting some apartment guides from the local chamber of commerce to get an idea of how much rent goes in your area. Ask those you know who rent already how much they pay a month in utilities -- water, gas, electricity, and such. Take these figures and add them up; see if what you are making will support you, and do so with money to spare.
Do your best, most honest job at it because you will ultimately be responsible for them. If it looks as though you will not be able to do so then honestly admit to yourself that you can't and make preparations to being able to do it in the future. There's no shame in this -- part of being an adult is knowing when to admit being wrong.
Besides, if she sees that you are making an adult effort to plan, save, and be responsible, how can she complain? Heck, she might even give you some tips on things you may not even have thought of! In the meantime, stay in school and graduate and, yes, listen to your mom -- I would bet that she really does love you and only wants the best for you even though she may not show it at times.
In closing, it's great that you want to be an adult, but there is nothing wrong with wading carefully into it before swimming. I wish you good luck!
2006-11-01 03:46:38 · answer #2 · answered by calledkevinalot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At your age you should be in school! IF you didnt finish high school you need to go back and finish! You are too young to move out just yet if you are only 17! You have to wait until you are 18 then once you are 18 your mom cannot tell you what to do anymore legally! I guarantee once you move out you will realize that life is much better at home. When you are out on your own you have to pay for rent, utilities, food, bills, a car etc.....Are you prepared to handle that responsibility?!? Sounds like you are in way too big of a hurry to grow up!
2006-11-01 03:19:40 · answer #3 · answered by herbie36f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Curious Girl,
I see pain in your words. I am so sorry that your father is not on this earth to help you. I do believe in heaven and that our loved ones pray for us from there. I believe your father still loves you and is with you in a way you cannot comprehend. He does not wish for you to be in such pain. I know you miss him. You can still talk to him in a letter; sometimes it helps to express it that way. You might give it a try. Bless your heart. You probably need someone to talk to about Dad.
That being said, you are almost 18, and you can move out at that time. Until then, you might try showing mom you are responsible enough to take care of yourself. Show her you are mature. Stay in (or go back to) school. Keep your room clean, do your laundry, brush your teeth, follow the household rules. Help with household chores without being told...when you move out, every dish will be yours to wash. When you spill cereal on the counter, she will not be there to gripe and wipe it up for you. So, try pretending you are on your own, in the house you are now living in, as far as household responsibilities go.
Your mom must love you a lot. Otherwise, it would be so easy for her to say..."just get the heck out already!" But, she doesn't. Wonder why? Mom has suffered losses to. Regardless of the circumstance, divorces are losses. A man she once promised to love forever is dead. She surely has some pain and regrets of her own. Additionally, she has children to support without assistance. She knew how important Dad was to you. Maybe she is a bit jealous that you don't seem to love her like that.
Would it be possible for you to just go up to Mom at some "neutral moment" and put your arms around her and say...."sorry Mom. Can we start over and try to love each other better?" Maybe. Maybe not. It might change everything. If you don't, one day, you may regret it.
At all times, most of us are doing the best we know to do. Life is often a struggle that we must help each other through.
I will be praying for you.
Peace be with you.
2006-11-01 03:39:08 · answer #4 · answered by Annamaria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deal with it until your 18. Try to make your mother happy with you. Don't give her any reason to be displeased with you. ( easier said than done!) Offer to help her out by doing some things that your siblings don't do. Make it your mission to get her to see what a great person you are. Parents don't always do the right thing without a little help.
2006-11-01 03:25:08 · answer #5 · answered by papaz71 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your mother is worry about you and the way she knows to deal with you is arguing which is not good .....try to give the first step and talk to her let her know how you feel and let her know you don't like her to treat you like that you need to respect each other probably you are bitching to her too and that position is not gonna take you anywere ........have a convesation with her and try to study a lot to be ready for the moment you have to leave arrives.
2006-11-01 03:23:06 · answer #6 · answered by haki 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either take it, Or leave, I left when I had enough, I am 18 years old and I am doing great. Just get up and go, or take it, because you can legally go at 18!
2006-11-01 03:23:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think the grass is greener outside of Mom's house, then move out once you are finished with high school and no longer a minor. You don't need Mommy's permission then.
2006-11-01 03:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
until you are 18 you really cannot do anything and it is best just to lie low and wait it out, that way she wont be calling the cops on you
2006-11-01 03:26:29 · answer #9 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The day you turn 18 years old, have your bags in front of the door, and tell your mama that it is my time to grow up. She will get it.
2006-11-01 03:19:34 · answer #10 · answered by Lovie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋