I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we've had sexual relations for around 9 months now. To begin with we did it often. It dwindled to 1-3 times a month. I've talked to him about it several times, asking the normal "is it me?" because that's the only reasonable conclusion I can come to. He said it isn't me, it's him. He says he just never feels like it anymore. He says he really enjoys it when it happens, but it's so hard just to get it to happen at all. He's lost his libido, and he's only 21!! Do any other guys go through this? Does it ever come back? Will we ever stop acting like an old married couple and more like bunnies again?
2006-11-01 03:05:34 · 24 answers · asked by ♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My ex husband and I were like that. It was really more about other issues than the sex. If your relationship is suffering, work on the other issues, and the sex will come back. I promise.
2006-11-01 03:08:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself, are you having sex to be just having sex, or do you two have a connection that goes deeper than just having sex? Do I make sense? I'm 52 and my boyfriend is 57 and we are definitely attracted to each other physically but our relationship is growing emotionally as well. Sometimes he may comment that I may need to put him in the mood, if you know what I mean. His testostrone level is fine because he got that checked. I think a few days in between is healthy and that gives each of you time to come up with maybe something a little bit more creative and its more spontanous. I hope I helped? One more comment. Once a month doesn't sound right unless he's going through alot of overtime or something emotional? Does he tell you he loves you or does he still have that spark in his eyes when he looks at you? If not, ask him where it went and get his reaction. Go by your gut feeling most of the time.
2006-11-01 03:18:22 · answer #2 · answered by CryBaby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's little confusing, when your boy friend is only 21. I think your man might be experiencing some sort of anxiety when it comes to sex. Most guys want to "wow" you with their sexual expertise and since he has none, he's afraid you'll think less of him after you sleep with him. Maybe he is nervous and just not ready. Although it does sound kinda weird. Well, just give him time and don't pressure him. Be thankful that's he's taking thing slowly. You also might try talking to him about the situation, that way, you'll at least have some kind of idea as to what's going on with him. Tell him that you love him and you think it's time to move to that next step and that you want to learn about sex together. I actually think it's a great opportunity to teach each other what you like and what you don't like. Maybe he's frightened that he won't live up to your expectations. Good luck.
2006-11-01 03:25:39 · answer #3 · answered by Show Me Sunshine 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because you have given lot of sex and only sex to him in the past 9 months so stop leading to sex alone, there are many other things in a man to get. Sex is a pleasure for few moments and thereafter the relaxation switches to think over other things as well.
2006-11-01 03:20:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey I know that you might not want to hear this but it could be one of two hings. Have you been keeping an eye on him lately? Does he go out with his friends a lot? I am not saying that he is cheating but you need to find out. The other thing could be like you said, maybe you can sugguest going to see the doctor together because if he is having trouble then the doctor will be able to tell you what it is and how he can fix it. It is quite common, many men do go through this but at a later stage in their lives.
2006-11-01 03:09:51 · answer #5 · answered by rach 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't pressure him too much about it because it will make the situation worse. Maybe you should try putting some spice into the relationship by dressing up for him or catching him off guard with something sexy. Us guys can get quite lazy sometimes and settle into patterns. It might give him some inspiration to do something sexy back.
2006-11-01 03:10:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
21 an lost his libido? i am not a doctor but i would say there is a greater chance he would have a heartattack at that age than lose his libido.
(sorry to say this...) but here are u options...
a) its u
b) he turned gay
c) he is cheating on u
d) he was in real bad accident and lost one of his testicles
sowy, at that 21 he is, these r ur options.
try to spice things up in bed, and maybe even cook for him. i am currently in my longest ever relationship (even though its an LDR), and she is the best cook of a g/f i have even had, coincidence? maybe...
gl
nick
2006-11-01 03:18:30 · answer #7 · answered by Nick A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same thing happens to me once in a while, you just need to get him interested again, maybe he is just tired or something, because i feel too tired or not in the mood sometimes, and we enjoy it when we get the chance, I know how you feel, It isn't you, it IS him, sometimes they go through phases like that, you you will too, find something you can both be interested in, like...i dunno...threesome or something? a fantasy?? something you can both be interested in. Because when a fantasy is shared by both partners, then it's more interesting, Im trying to share one with him, and I dunno, im getting more into it, And our affection has improved! hes more snuggly and stuff! Try it, Im only 18 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years.
2006-11-01 03:10:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
perchance you need to think of of concepts on a thank you to spice it up mutually. perchance it has grow to be slightly an previous ordinary the way you adult men circulate at it. yet regardless of you do do no longer difficulty him approximately it. you need to understand if he do in basic terms no longer % to do it. Asking him whats incorrect is a sturdy start up. tell him to be uncomplicated and don't get disillusioned at something while he tells you. perchance it is not as sturdy because it was? yet do no longer undertaking it occurs to a great sort of long term couples. Going like rabbits interior the start is interesting, its something new... and since the years pass it comes prevalent ordinary and possible grow to be uninterested in it.
2016-11-26 21:51:58 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to spice things up! You end us getting into a routine, and guys hate that. Surprise him one night. Make a dinner, rent a movie. Then...tell him what you want to do to him. Try new positions, or involve toys. Just don't do what you always do.
Check out this page...af ew Kama Sutra moves you can try out. They work :)
2006-11-01 03:09:09 · answer #10 · answered by imasooite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋