ok. this white guy i date now is really cool and he treats me like a princess.he gives me love, affection and anything you can ask for in a relationship. we've dated for almost 2 years and now he wants to marry me. i'm in love with him but his family hates me because they don't think he should marry me a black woman. they refuse to have anything to do with him or me. they treat me like dirt.i'm not sure i can marry him in drama like this. i love him but i'm confused. what can i do!
2006-11-01 02:47:44 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Loblg88 it dosn't matter how good someone treat you there is always someone that can do better. If you can't get along with his family and they are racist you are putting yourself at danger because what if they decide to do somethinng about that, you would be in a bad situation. You should want to date someone that is going to treat you right and they family is going to love you too and not call you racist names.
2006-11-06 03:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by dre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well all i can say is...it is him you would be marrying not the rest of the family....do you know the saying love conquers all...well in this case it can simply because you both love each other very much, as long as that don't change, you can make it work, and it would be better without the interfering family, i understand it may be hard for your beau, but he actually seems willing to make this sacrifice for you because he loves you....you on the other hand seem too worried about yourself, and whether you can deal with all this drama in your life, and there's nothing wrong with that, but think a little about how your partner is also feeling...cant you see he is totally disregarding what they say about you even if it means losing his family, and if they can treat their own son in such a way, then who are you to complain..... even if they treat their son badly because of you, ask yourself the question do you see your partner running in the opposite direction away from you, in order to make things easier for himself, because of his parents dislike for you?......if your answer is no, then you too should fight to keep this relationship alive, don't you think it is worth it?......
2006-11-01 11:04:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are they racist or do they just not agree with interracial marriage. I ask that because that would make a world of difference. You can probably work through the not agreeing with it, but if they are racist, then even though the two of you love each other, it will be hell for the both of you. My brother married a black woman and her family could not stand him because he was not black and they finally after seven years of marriage and two kids drove them apart. They even convinced her not to keep the kids, because there were of a mixed race. It is sad people are like that, but it is there. I would recommend against that if his family is truly that way.
2006-11-01 10:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life with him would be difficult as far as his family and society. But if you are in love it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. His family is bull-headed, but that is his family. You need to ask him if he believes he can spend the rest of his life without his family. You don't want to marry him and 5 years down the road have him regret marrying you because he misses his family.
2006-11-01 10:52:13 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't commit yourself to a life time of something you (or he) can not handle. Talk it out with him. Will his family ever get to know you and change their minds? Do you even want them to? Rejection is something that stays with a person for a long time & even love has its limits.
Think about this situation.... you and he are married and his racist mother dies. Of course he is going the the funeral, and of course you will want to offer all the support you can to the man you love..... how heart breaking will that be?
I suggest you, alone, going to talk (if it is safe and possible) with the racist crack heads and see if there is any hope of them accepting you befre making a decision. Surely, if they love him they will learn to love you too.
2006-11-01 10:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by Cap'n Donna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love conquers all. Don't let his racist family get the best of you. Have a talk with your boyfriend about how you feel. If he thinks your love is more precious then anything, he will choose you and won't allow the drama from his family to be brought over to you.
There are ways to get beyond and above this problem... you just have to talk them out.
2006-11-01 10:51:12 · answer #6 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
loblg88, there are pros and cons...as in every relationship. It seems like you will have to deal with their closed minds for a while....just make sure you can handle that for....who knows how long? On the bright side, after sticking it out, showing his family that you truly love him (years down the road) and possibly having children together, I'm sure they will come around and you will have opened their minds! What a wonderful thing!
2006-11-01 11:06:30 · answer #7 · answered by Lalalalalala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm under the firm belief that love can change anything. If he's the one and you love him don't let the parents stand in your way. Your man had better do some serious talking to his parents and let them know that you're the one for him. He will be marrying you and they can either change their minds and learn to be civilized and kind to you or they can not be at the wedding. And not be in his life. If he loves you enough to do that then you had better marry him and hold onto him for dear life!
2006-11-01 10:51:06 · answer #8 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Yes, Yes - it is high time they should be educated and accept circumstances. Your love is more important then them and never let them make you feel low and nobody has a right to do so cause that's what they are after to demoralize you and give up your love. One of the days they will learn to accept you. Racism wins only if u accept it - so GO FOR IT!.
First fight for your recognition and your loved one should fight and fully support you and if he doesn't then i would question your relationship - He should feel for you all the way and wish you all the best.
2006-11-01 11:06:47 · answer #9 · answered by essa s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well my Mom is white and my Dad is black and both of their families were a little rasict but my parents got married anyway and now everyone gets along fine, it just took a little time :)
Hope this helps :)
2006-11-06 19:46:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋