My son is 19 and is living at home and going to college. Meanwhile every friend he has (including his girlfriend) seem to be constantly at my house. I'd like to ask my son to move out but my husband doesn't support this. I feel like I don't have control over my own home anymore. Any ideas? He works and goes to school and I really want him to succeed but I'm extremely unhappy with the current situation.
2006-11-01 02:35:23 · 17 answers · asked by SheRa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
pray about the situationfirst you must accept jesus as your lord and savior and repent from your sins so you can be right with god and be saved. then see what god tells you.
2006-11-01 07:16:04 · answer #1 · answered by Dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right for feeling the way you do. Does he make enough money at work to live on his own? (I'm asking because I lived at home during college, but had work study jobs...). If he makes enough, I think you should ask your son to move out. If that's not a possibility, then you need to lay the law down and tell your son that you will no longer be a "frat" house (I can just imagine how much these other teens eat at your house.... geez, you shouldn't have to buy more groceries than needed!). Anyhoot, talk to your son. He's old enough to know the truth now and you shouldn't have to feel like you dont' have any control. You're the authority figure here. Good luck!
2006-11-01 10:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so your husband doesnt support your son moving out but does he support RULES?
I dont care how old your son is, he is still living in your house therefore should be expected to follow whatever rules you may set. Tell him you want all company out of the house at a certain time. OR set a "relaxation" day where no one not living in the house is allowed over. If your son wants to see his friends he should go over their house. If your son, or the company he keeps, doesnt know you feel this way, then you are never going to see a change. Speak up and ask your husband to support you on this since he discouraged the idea of your son moving out. That is the least he can do.
Good Luck.
2006-11-01 10:41:21 · answer #3 · answered by babyj248 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your home is where you live, where you're suppose to be comfortable, be happy, and feel safe. If you are unhappy with your home life you need to do something about it. Tell your son to put a stop to his friends being there so much. Give him a certain day, or 2, of the week that they can come over and set time limits, like they have to be gone by midnight.
Explain to him that it's your home and he can have those friends over when he moves out, but as long as he's living at home he has to respect your feelings.
2006-11-01 10:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing comfortable about having a 19 year old son. My son is also 19, going to school and working. sometimes I get up in the morning to find kids sleeping on the couch. Its an uncomfortable situation to have these people around all the time. It seems like an invasion of your privacy. However, keep things in perspective. If they are good kids and your son is responsible about his school, just get used to it. it won't last long. Before you know it, he'll be gone and you'll have all the privacy you want. Live, laugh and love every minute you have with him like it was your last.
2006-11-01 10:57:24 · answer #5 · answered by papaz71 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set some guide lines. There is no reason a bunch of kids should be in and out of your house constantly. But if he is being responsible and going to school and working you have to cut him some slack. Why not set up either certain times of the day friends can come over or maybe a specific night of the week or even only on weekends?
2006-11-01 11:13:52 · answer #6 · answered by Sunspot Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit him down and tell him what's on your mind. Maybe him moving out isn't the only option here. Take back control of your house. Let him know you are proud of all he is doing but that you don't want to have company all the time. You will be surprised at how an honest and open conversation can change things.
2006-11-01 10:39:21 · answer #7 · answered by momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hubby and I went through this the whole time our boys were in junior high, high school,and to be honest...yes at times it was hard; BUT, today those kids have a love and respect for us that is truly amazing. They stop by just to say "hi" and they remind us of the good times they had while here, some even lived with us.. They appreciated the love, help and concern we had for them...So Mom, think of what you are giving to these kids that they may not otherwise have...it won't go un noticed.
2006-11-01 10:43:05 · answer #8 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you questioned your husband on why he doesn't want your son to move out?? It would seem that he is an adult and could definately make it work by moving out. It is your house and as long as he lives under your roof you should be able to tell him who comes and who goes. I am hoping that your husband will see it your way and back you up. I will be pray for your situation.
Keep your chin up!!!
2006-11-01 10:39:29 · answer #9 · answered by Lori C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
limit his friends and hours of vistition. Set boundaries and consequences (no guest if rules arent' followed). My boys are only 14 and 11 yet I have the same kind of problem, everyone likes to visit here, I enjoy it but when it's time to be alone I just say so. I am respected and in return I respect them as well.
2006-11-01 10:42:52 · answer #10 · answered by Stacy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know the feeling...i made my son save money...i had him give it to me and put it in an envelope and when he had $650 he moved out a furnished room 5 mi away. also he should pay at least $35 a week room and board in the meantime..can he save enough in the next 60 days? make a goal and share it with him
2006-11-01 10:56:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋