Vietnam War Questions?

Question

I am interested in experiences of Vietnam War veterans. I would very much like to understand better the emotional trauma that they went through and still struggle with. I love a man very much who was only 18 when he went and, I believe, it is too painful for him to recount in the detail that I need. He was a tailgunner and received two Purple Hearts.

I was too young at the time to have any memories from that period.

Thank you for helping me out. I want to be able to help him when those old memories come up. Could you also suggest ways in which your wife/girlfriend could help you deal with those anniversaries?

Answer 1

My father served in Vietnam, has never talked about it and never will. This is not uncommon for Vietnam Vets.

My suggestion would be not to push it. If he wants to talk he will, otherwise just be respectful of him and honor the service that he provided to this country.

There is but one thing that sets my father off and that is the Liberal a$$holes that have no respect for our country or the men that have served it. Men like Kerry who spat upon them when they returned.

Answer 2

Well I'm pleased to see that all of the answers so far are thoughtful and directed to assist your Veteran, (tail gunner is easy mistake for a civilian to make, so that is a cheap shot), and unless your love resists you might want to let him read these answers.

Two wounds are impossible to forget since the scar is generally still visible, and if the wound is more severe, then pain, and possible permanent disability are constant reminders of combat action. Combat is chaos and can become deeply imbedded in a person's psyche. Familar sights,( such as live TV, movies that show combat etc.), smells, (cordite, gunpowder, weapons cleaning solvents etc.), sudden loud noises, sudden confrontations with other people,(even though not threatening), and disussions of death, are just a few "trigger" events that can bring some or all of combat chaos back into your Vets mind and can grow very quickly. You and your love need to find a "safe haven" to retreat to quickly when any of the aforementioned circumstances ocurr, or may be about to ocurr.

Find your safe haven together and define it everyday so that it becomes "imbedded" as SAFE. Find out for yourselves whether it is best to be there together, or if sometimes it is better to be there alone. I REPEAT, it is a SAFE place where only good things can be thought about.

If religious faith is a part of both your lives, then work to make your "FAITH" stronger than any other thought.

There is no "cure" for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or even for "survivor guilt", but you can fight it with just as much determination as you fought the VC or NVA.

When an "incident" is over, (survived), then reinforce the positive feelings that may be present.

My sincere best wishes for you both. A wife, lover, friend, often times are more important than they will ever know,(or even be told), so never doubt your mission.

God Bless and Keep You Both Near Him.

Answer 3

The Vietnam War, as most Western countries call it, has different names depending on who is describing the conflict. The native Vietnamese call it "The American War" because the conflict was primarily with the Americans. The war is more specifically called the "Second Indochinese War" because it was one of three wars related to each other in that region during such era. The are collectively known as the Indochina Wars. The First Indochina War is better known as the French Indochina War, which we know ended with the defeat of the French. The Third Indochina War was a short conflict between China and Vietnam. How this is related to the other two wars is because China engaged in hostile activities due to the Vietnamese occupation of Cambodia, which was a former state within French Indochina.

Answer 4

Some vets can talk about it regardless of how bad the experience and others can't. I he is holding it all inside, the best way to allow some comfort to let it out is to be around some other vets who just listen. Sometimes they need to know they are not the only one that has problems. This does not have to be a "therapy" thing. It can be simply enjoying a hot dog and a beer at the VFW or something. But, it really turns serious, you can contact experts at the VA. I've done a lot of video interviews with WWII vets and it seems to help that I was a vet myself (Vietnam). They would sometimes spill things they would never express to their families.

Answer 5

Well all soldiers who see combat come back with some bad memories. Some worse than others. The best thing that you can do is talk to him and let him know you care. I feel that a lot of the problems that Viet Nam vets have is that the American Society did not support the war or the soldiers who fought it...you know like prople calling them "Baby Killers" and stuff like that. (Soldiers from other wars like WWII and Korea were not treated that way.) I took a college class on the Viet Nam War and it was taught by a vet...good class...if he will not talk to you the Veterans Administration has programs for Combat Vets that you might like to look into...from one Verteran to another tell him I said, "Thanks for a job well done."

Answer 6

I don't have any experiences to share, nor do I know anyone who does, but if you read the books "In the Lake of the Woods," "July, July," and "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien I think they would give you an insight into the darker side of surviving Nam. All books are more from a man's point of view, and July, July deals more with the generation, but they are all extremely insightful and meaningful. Hope that helps some:)

Answer 7

I have only heard one story from my uncle that is actually pretty tame, but put the entire experience into perspective:

His group took a helicopter to this particular location and they all got out only to realize they are in the wrong location. So, they all get back on board and begin to take off, only to see the hill they were supposed to be at completely and utterly destroyed. They all would have been dead if someone hadn't screwed up. That is enough of a psychological trip for me and that wasn't even that serious of an experience. Hope that helps you understand.

Answer 8

I am concerned for your safety! He should have been debriefed before he was let go. When you are 18, having killed even one person is unatural, and will haunt you for the rest of your life. This can be a very serious occasion for you, and you have to be patient and wait for any signs of you friend being attracted to violent behaviour patterns. Such as: does he stare out into space and say nothing when someone offends him? Does he let people do what to him that would in every other person, lead them to fight? If he does, he could be planning the death of the accuser.
Get help for you and for him!

Answer 9

Difficult to describe. Everyone's experiences were so different, and most of them were bad. Not like Iraq. Jungle fighting in humid, wet, miserable conditions, when you dont know if your next step will be the one that sends you into punji stickes or landmines, watching people get blown apart in front of you. Tracer rounds coming at you from an unseen enemy. We felt like we were out there on our own, and know one cared.
I watched many B-52s come smoking in. Many friends die. I also won a purple heart.

I was spit on at the airport when I got home, simply because I wore the uniform. How do you get over that?

Answer 10

My husband was in vietnam.He was a sniper.He has just started having a hard time with some of it.But he seems to handle ptsd better then me.I have ptsd too and I don't know if it's because he is always trying to be the hero that it has not taken a hold of him as bad.But I would say just sit and listen as long as he needs to talk.How ever long that maybe He needs you.He'll talk when he is ready!