Help!!! I can't get my eleven month old to sleep through the night. What am I doing wrong?

Question

I give him baths, i feed him, i sing, i rock, i drive in circles, i do everything i can think of and nothing happens, just non stop crying. My husband and I are at our wits end because of this. Is there anything else i can do. We are desperately needing sleep!!!

Answer 1

bath before bed is good to settle him down. make sure you have him on a regular schedule, you do all the same things every night before you put him to bed, make things routine, put him to bed at the same time every night. make things quiet and dim around the house to settle him down before you put him to bed. don't try to put him down right after running around the house with him. you don't need to feed him extra, rock him, drive him around. this is only going to make things harder for you. at his bedtime, put him down in his crib, tell him goodnight and you love him etc., then leave. he will cry, there's no question. he's used to one thing (being coddled) and will certainly object. then let him cry. he needs to learn how to comfort himself. do whatever you need to do to take your mind off of things. turn the baby monitor down so you can still hear him but it's not blaring at you. you CAN go check on him after a bit, if you prefer a gentler approach than cold turkey but the important thing is to just settle him down and DO NOT pick him up. rub his tummy, his forehead, whatever will help him to stop crying. then...when he settles down, tell him you love him, good night and leave again. this might go on for a while. eventually, he will get tired enough and fall asleep. (it might be a good idea to start this on the weekend or a night when you have the next day off so you're not up late) the next night, do the same thing. in about 3 nights, he might whimper a bit but I KID YOU NOT, he will go to sleep. this works. it really does. if it doesn't happen in 3 nights, it might take him a little longer. give him a week. he's 11 months so he's had some time to learn how to manipulate you to get what he wants. that's what kids do. they learn to demonstrate behavior that gets them what they want. he knows if he cries and screams, you'll come in and pick him up, rock him, drive him around....seriously, it is the best way.

he doesn't have colic. i can pretty much guarantee that. he's 11 months. that (if babies have it) usually goes away after the first 3 months. the problem is what i said; he's learned that if he behaves like he does, he will get what he wants.

Answer 2

Girl, can I relate!!! My oldest did not start sleeping through the night until she was 18 months old. We tried everything including, but not limited to: rocking, driving her around in the car, switch feeding scheduled, lessened nap time, multiple doctor exams, etc.... We even did the "let her scream and she will quit"-- Nope, she screamed for 4 hours until I finally broke down and went to get her. Nothing worked and there were some nights I just wanted to put her in the basement to let her scream while I slept. I never did that, but I wanted to. I was to the point that I felt that I did not like my own child, which made me even more depressed.

However, finally after 18 months and 3 days (I remember), she slept all night long. I hate when my mom is right. She said, "this too shall pass -- and you will forget the sleepless nights".

Good luck -- and nap as much as you can.

Answer 3

I agree with the others because children love attention. I have a 2 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. My son would not go to sleep unless I slept beside him but the thing that worked for me was Johnson's Nighttime calming bath and lotion. I would get him up early, fix breakfast, play with him during the day and give him lunch, put him down for an afternoon nap, play with him some more, have dinner, bath and girl, he is so worn out from the activities that I do with him that he just wants to fall asleep and be left alone. I applaud you for all of the efforts that you have done. Try keeping him busy throughout the day and see how that goes for a couple of days and if it starts to work, then you will have many nights of good sleep. I hope that works out for you cause it did for me. As the saying goes, "different strokes for different folks",lol! Remember, full day of play, use nighttime calming baby wash and lotion and see how that works out for you. Good luck and I pray that you and your husband will get some rest!!

Answer 4

First thing is to stop bathing him late at night, and definitely stop the rocking. Baby is crying knowing full well you two will give him more attention. And once in bed, don't take him out again. If he is crying go in and talk to him / rub his back, but when he settles down leave the room. Keep doing this over and over until he learns that he will not get his own way. May take up to a month for this to be learned by him, but he will learn it nonetheless. May sounds cruel to do, but in the end you and your husband as well as the baby will be better for it.

Answer 5

You're not doing anything wrong. He's probably just used to being up through the night. He misses you. What you have to do is when you wakes up let him know your there but don't pick him up. Sit beside his crib/bed until he goes back to sleep. This may be hard, due to the fact that he'll probably cry himself to sleep but it needs to be done. Every night it will get a little easier and you can move your chair a little closer towards the door. It might take a week, but one night you will make it out the door without him noticing or being concerned about it. If you give in and pick him up, it only shows him that he's won. Stick to this and you'll be back to a full nights sleep in no time. Just don't let him win.

Answer 6

OK. First of all take him to the doctor end have a good check up to make sure that hes not experiencing a digestive problem or a head-ache type (migraines) problem. Its worth a trip to the doctors to find out for sure.
Come bed time it MUST be routine and it will take a moment to establish one for him. Star by picking a bath time. allow the bath to be 15-20 long, this allow for fun as well as warm water relaxation therapy.
When hes in the bath dim the lights through out the house. After his jammys are on offer a very light snack. and put on a 1/2 hour low key cartoon for him and sit and watch it with him and tell him that when this is over its going to be night night time and we are going to bed and when its over get up and shut it off and go to bed, stopping to brush his teeth . Put him in bed and give him hugs and kisses and maybe a short little story and because all of the lights are already out he,ll know it bed time. I don,t know if you lay down with him or if hes in his own bed. But what i,m trying to get at is you must get the same routine going every night for him(until he adjust to going to bed and gets a couple years under his belt) and make everything mellow and restful--even boring -wind down time before bed time.

Answer 7

You should take him to the doctor and see if he has colic.. persistent crying at night with no other apparent cause is normally colic, and your doctor can give you tips on how to make him feel better.

Try everything else first though. Is he too hot or too cold? Is he still hungry? Are his clothes uncomfortable? Do you put him to bed in socks? Maybe he doesn't like the socks, or they're too tight. Is his bedroom quiet?

Try those things first.. and if you already have and nothing works, it could be colic.

Answer 8

If I could vote for practicalwizard's response as best answer, I would. See her answer above and go with that. That is what we did and it works!!! One of the most important things is consistency!! Have your child on the exact same schedule everyday!! wake up same time, breakfast same time, snack same time, lunch, nap, dinner, bedtime. And yes...it is painful to listen to the child cry... but do exactly as practicalwizard said and you'll be out of this within 3-7 days! Good luck!

Answer 9

I don't have kids yet - but let me speak of my experience with my dog lol
My dog used to get up super early in the morning (3am) and me, the loving doggy mother would get up with him each time. Well he kept doing it because he wanted to be with me. Well I finally started just waking up when I wanted to wake up and my doggy happily sleeps until 6am with me.
As someone already mention, he wants to stay up to get all that wonderful attention from you. He needs to learn mommy's attention is during the day and not at night, night is for sleeping. It might take a few nights of whining (or barking haha in my case), but then it'll settle down. YOur baby needs his sleep, and so do you. Good luck!

Answer 10

How much is he sleeping at a time? Is he fussy during the day? Try letting him cry it out- it takes about a week of hell- but then they learn how to soothe themselves back to sleep. I am sorry- there is nothing worse than not sleeping- If it was me I would let him cry- even if it takes all night. This sounds harsh but it worked for me.