I'm not imature but everyone has there moments! Anyways, I was going to be a mom but I miscarried at three months, me and my fiance were so excited and happy, but when I miscarried we were so sad. Alot changed after that, because of my age I was forced to move away from him, I love him so much, I never wanted to leave him....but then I got on his e-mail address because I had a bad feeling about us not living together and I found the most painful e-mail to this girl, he told her he wants to be with her and she said she loved him....I don't no what to do or to be mad or hurt (i'm kind of both) they want to meet in person soon to "have there first kiss" he don't no I have his password and if I told him he would turn this around on me! What should I do? What would you do??? please don't give me mean answers my heart hurts enouph as it is! Thank you so much.....
2006-11-01 01:28:28 · 23 answers · asked by ~*Hurt*~and~*Confussed*~ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am sorry that you are having such a rough time of it sweetie. It sounds to me that when you were pregnant that he was pretty much happy to the fact that a baby was on the way. But after you miscarried I think what happened with him was that he didn't have the pressure to have to be so grown up. And with you having to move away he has moved on with his life. As much as I don't want to hurt you I think that it might be time to move on with yours as well. Right now you are hurting with a double blow, the miscarriage as well as the loss of your financee. I think right now you need to talk to someone who can give you some good advice on how to deal with what has happened in your life in a positive way. Is there a counselor at your school that you can talk to? I really think it would be a good idea to do this...if not to talk they are there for a nice long cry. It sounds to me that you might just need a good shoulder to cry your hurt out. Please take care and realize that you aren't the first girl who has gone through this. Good luck to you!
2006-11-01 01:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by mshellrosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this can go one of many ways... one way would be to confront him about it. another would be to break up and move on.. another would be to ignore it.. but my fav way would be to get sweet sweet revenge.. you have his email info so do what women do best and "play" him at his own game.. Get into the e-mail and send her an email back posing as him and attach some pictures of you and he together and send her an email that he sent you with the date on it so she can see that he has been playing both of you.. THEN change his email password.. and tell the girl you want to meet her (still posing as him) and have him meet you there and watch the look on his face when he shows up and you ALL are all there.. See the dumb *** talk his way out of that one.. HAHAHA I know it is painful for you right now but a little bit of devious work always makes me feel better.. Don't let him have the upper hand.. b/c if he is doing this to you when you needed him the most ( after your miscarriage) then he will do it to the next broad.. OH and BTW I am sorry about your loss.. I know how it feels.. But good luck with whatever you choose to do about the asshole..
2006-11-01 01:40:17 · answer #2 · answered by Steph y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww sweety, I know you're hurt right now, and you "want" to do something that probably goes against your nature, but don't. It's really strange, but something similar happened to me years ago
when I was still young. I also got pregnant & lost the baby, and I was about 4 months along. Then around 2 weeks after this happened, I was doing laundry and while cleaning out my boyfriends pockets, I found a "love" note with a phone number on it. I felt "all" of the things you've said, anger, hurt, disgust. I talked to my older sister about it, and this is what she told "me."
She said to use every bit of control I had, because I would "need" it. She said to just "let" them have each other! And that if I hadn't miscarried, this guy would have cheated on me, but
there would have been "two" people hurting instead of one. I would have raised my baby alone, because this "low life" would be with someone else "anyway." Well, he ended up getting "her" pregnant, and then cheated on her, and got another girl pregnant, then he skipped town! My sister said that when my baby died, God probably already knew the pain and heartache we would be going through. And that the baby might have gone through something worse here on earth. You are going through something right now that this guy should have been there to help you "through" it, but he's not. I think that by confronting, or even "talking to him would be like going back in time. Pray, read books on positive thinking, start doing things you had stopped doing "because" you were pregnant, and your life will get better, okay? I didn't even talk to the father of my baby after I found out what he had been doing, because I couldn't "undo" his behavior, and it would have just been more painful. Try to go forward, let him go, and I promise you, your life "will" get better with time, okay? I'll say a prayer that you get the strength to do this, and good luck.
2006-11-01 01:52:08 · answer #3 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, move on. I'm so sorry about your loss, and now this on top of losing your baby. You don't need a relationship with a *boy* like that. It sounds like you're very young to have to go through this. No, you should not have been reading his e-mail, but since you did you discovered some bad things. Do you still have contact with him at all? If you do, you should let him know that you know he's not been faithful, then go on with your life without him. I know it hurts. But that's the risk you take when you have a relationship like that. Next time find a guy who loves and respects you enough to wait for marriage to sleep together.
2006-11-01 01:40:09 · answer #4 · answered by susie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance is going to make things tougher anyway. I have discovered similar things about my guy through similar means but I come right out and tell him I know. You have to communicate otherwise it will eat you up.
The fact that you have found out things by hacking his account isn't right but neither is being lied to. I don't excuse my invasion of my boyfriend's privacy but I also have every right to protect myself and seek the truth. Don't allow him to turn it around on you. Be prepared he will change the password.
He is having an affair and sharing intimacy with someone else even if it is just online for now. It may be harmless, he may have no intention of acting on it and it's just an outlet but obviously it is not harmless to you. Talk to him and decide if you want to save things if they are worth it to both of you. Give him the opportunity to walk allow him that decision, it may help you know how he feels about you.
Good luck and I am sorry for your broken heart, I have been there.
2006-11-01 01:39:49 · answer #5 · answered by Hopey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isnt childish. It's totally understandable. And right now you're hurt and you might be thinking that you dont want things to end with him but if he did this it's cause he wants to move on. Sorry to say but seems like he wants this new girl. but technically if he hasnt even met her yet, he cant be THAT into her. But wat you guys went through is difficult, maybe he just can't handle it. If ever he doesnt really like this girl, he wants to give it a try, This shows he wants to move on. Dont take any decisions just yet but tell yourself that most likely things wont work out. Just wait a while and see and try and ask him how he feels, without mentionning the email. Hope this helps.
2006-11-01 01:37:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, i have to ask (I'm not being mean, but it does matter), how old are you?? you mentioned age in being part of why you moved away, so it does matter...
ok, that being said, it sounds like he moved on... it also sounds like the two of you are rather young, highschool/collage...
I would say, move on, try to forget about him... also, look for a different kind of guy... you didn't mention the time spent away from each other befor you found this email, but i would think it's a bit of a small amount of time, so i would think that he didn't realy love you...
just my thoughts, and i would be happy to give more opinions if i had more information...
2006-11-01 01:33:12 · answer #7 · answered by Junior1544 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should say goodbye, he is obviously moving on if he's interested in having a first kiss with somone else. You have to have the will to make a hard decision, either confront him with your suspicions and live with the consequences, or say goodbye. Whatever your decision be strong, you have been through some tough times, but they're in the past now, try to move on.
2006-11-01 01:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by Bryce I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take time out to think if this man is the best person for you right now and if he wants to be with someone else let him go. It may be the hardest thing you will ever do but trust me you won't regret it because it means that you will now be available to other people who will cherish, love and respect you more than he did you.
2006-11-01 01:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by dirkthesmirk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mature or not is not the question here.. Your life will NEVER change with a guy that treats you with deceit. You are old enough to understand this-so- kick him down girl-let go of the past move on. He is definitely not worth you emotions, hurt, and eventually anger.
2006-11-01 01:33:03 · answer #10 · answered by sylviavnpttn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋