Hat etiquette: What's your thoughts.?

Question

My twin brother met his wife's uncle and when he walked in her uncle said "Don't you know it's polite to take your hat off in another mans house?" "My brother said "I only take my hat off for God or country, so if you think your greater than eigther of them, left me know." Her uncle didn't have anything to say about that.

I'm 27 and wear a hat to work almost everyday. The V.P. of Relations always says things to me about it. One day he said something and I replied "It's sad that I have been here for 7 years, working my butt off to go from entry level to the great office job I have today, yet all you see me for is my stupid HAT!".

What are your thoughts on hats today. Is "hat etiquette' a thing of the past? My brother and I both like to wear hats. Are we wrong in what we said?

BTW... Let us all get it straight that I really am a nice guy so PLEASE don't leave childish immature comments all it does is make me laugh at you. I'd like serious answers as to why people might think a hat would disrespect them.

Aww Jennifer F is upset... you'd totally expect that from a little "girl" with a hormonal imbalance and who feels unwanted because she can't keep a man in her life. Awwww... how sad. Oh well I guess you'll get people and responses such as those when you put yourself out in the public like that. Don't worry little girl, I will pry for you. :)

Answer 1

I am the twin brother he is refering too. I have a fwe things to say to all of the people speaking out of ignorace (not judgeing, but speaking truth). A hat is a hat. A hat is not a social bearing representation. If it was, then you are all materialistic and judgemental. Does wearing a hat make me a certain type of individual? Does it really? DO you all really think that God will not listen to my prayes and deny me his love because I have a hat on, or because I didnt dress in nice clothes for church? Am I nothing more then just the clothes that I wear? This has NOTHING to do with smoking or respect for another person. I am not a JEW but I would not ask a A Jewish person to take off their beanie cap if they entered my house. I would not ask a person to take off their shirt if it said, "I love weed" on it, if they entered my house. I have my christianity beliefs but my job as a christian is not to condem or judge others. Not my wifes grandpa (not uncle) asked me in a not so nice way, (first time he met me) to take my hat off. I gave him the same respect he showed me. He learened right away that I am an individual whom is meant to be treated as such. I told him that I wasnt going to ask him to take off his pants and so he should not make me uncomfortable by asking me to remove an article of clothing which was of no representation of my personal being. He had to learn that God does not discriminate and so he cannot justly ask me to take my hat off for his comfort and for HIS beliefs on this subject. As some of you are saying... he can kick me out of his house, if he really wants to make a big deal about me wearing a old navy hat. Then the issue becomes his problem for taking it too far... over a hat. JUST like some hear are taking this too far. I take my hat off ni church because its my belief and I take my hat off for the pledge or national athem because its my belief, but I do not subdue to othes beliefs on such a small issue. He later found out that the hat has no actual representation of my true spirit and he found that he could move past the issue to where he actually gotten to know me quite well. Stand for what you belive, dont make big issues out of small ones, let the little stuff go, and learn to make a difference where it REALLY counts. Have you spent time with your children latey? Have you stopped with your porn obsessions? Are you contributing to your marriage the way a mana nd woman should? Are you a victim of being "fake" to fit in?

Problem is Josh, most people now days cannot say who they are, and stand for what they belive. They just follow the other fish ni the steam because they are too afraid to swim against the current in order to prove a point or to make a right out of a wrong.

BTW, smoking affects others and is hazardous. Last I checked, wearing a hat was not hazardous.

Someone PLEASE tell me WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY it is disrepsectful. Give me that at least. What does the hat represent that is so bad? Tell me! (Josh watch, there is no reason but tradition, which needs to be broken because its discrimanatory...and for what?)

Answer 2

Oh, please. They've gone "downhill" for much longer than that. Think how crazy etiquette was in the French monarchical court. I think the reason why manners have gone out the window is because people don't feel that they need to have this facade of niceness anymore. You are free to be yourself. What does it matter if you're wearing a hat to the presidential inauguration? As long as you look presentable, it's okay. That being said, some of it is definately regrettable. The lack of respect for private space and noise levels, the lack of "thank yous," etc. is really annoying. Much of the manners that you were talking about were unnecessary. Many were good, and those I'm regretful of them leaving our culture. At the same time, however, also, there have been many leaps forward from that time. Civil rights, anyone? For some reason, people like to think the past was so cute and rosey and oh man, that must have been nice, but they had their problems too.

Answer 3

No, I think that hat etiquette is still alive.

When a man removes his hat in an elevator, a person removes their hat when entering another's house, not going to the dinner table with a hat, are all signs that a person's been brought up a little differently - with a bit more appreciation for others' feelings and dignity.

It's like a man opening a car's door for a woman. Not something you see everyday, but often brings a small smile of appreciation when you do see it.

That said, it's easy to understand a person being attached to an article of clothing. I'm impressed by your brother's choice to wear his hat while bathing and sleeping. (I assume that neither God nor Country cease existence while those happen).

Seriously, though. I'm more bald than I'd like. I tend to wear a hat. However, I've very fine hair, so wearing a hat can make me look like Don King. I still choose to remove it in certain situations (like above).

Final thought: Consider what I've said an older person's thoughts. But if you have a level of hat 'awareness' that prompts the question, then you probably have some suspicions that you might be viewed as more gracious and maybe even more acceptable in certain situations with slightly different hat behaviors.

Best wishes

Answer 4

Like any social custom, some things don't make sense. It is what it is, and in this instance, hats are a very real symbol of respect.
To offer some insight, and the rule that I go by...
Hats obscure your eyes. Depending on the hat, this almost always makes one look less professional, since it can send a subconscious message that you're hiding something. Same goes with respecting an authority figure. It's an unspoken social etiquette rule. When entering a house of someone you respect, it's courtesy. Unless the visit is very informal... that really depends on the situation.
It's also considered rude to wear a hat at the dinner table.
Taking off one's hat, and hence showing the eyes and the rest of the head, can be a subconscious show of vulnerability, possibly likened to cats rolling on their backs and exposing their tummy. Human heads are vulnerable. And showing vulnerability, even on a very subconscious level, is definitely a show of respect.
Bowing to someone, as in royalty, makes a person very vulnerable. I'm not saying that this analogy applies to this situation, but it's another thought along the same 'respect' theme.
I hope this helps explain the hat thing.
In today's society, etiquette is taught very differently, and you're not to blame if you haven't been explained hat etiquette. Indeed, so many things are considered vastly more important than small etiquette rules.

Answer 5

For your brother's situation, I think he should have respected the uncle's wishes and removed his hat. It is rude to go against the etiquette of another's home. When you are in another's home, you should abide by their rules.
For you wearing a hat at work, you didn't say if it was a baseball cap or a nice dress hat. A baseball cap is totally inappropriate for an office, while a dress hat isn't. But I still think you should take it off when you work in an office.
Yes, hat etiquette is old fashioned, but there are many people (like the V.P. at your work, and the girl's uncle) who still follow it today. The bottom line is to show respect to others. You two can still wear your hats without offending others. And besides, it is really so important to always do what you want with no reguard to the feelings of others? If you are disrespecful to them, then don't expect to be treated with respect in return. Part of being an adult is sometimes having to do things you don't want to do. So maybe it's time to suck it up, and take the hats off when requested to do so by others in certain situations. You'll both have plenty of time to wear your hats outside of work and other people's homes.

Answer 6

Whoa! There's a lot going on in this question!

First of all, the uncle was a bit rude in how he addressed a person whom he just met. Secondly, your twin was rude in what he said. No matter the uncle's rudeness, it was his house and he's the elder person. Those two things deserve certain levels of respect, especially on the first meeting!

Now, to address proper hat etiquette. A "gentleman" always removes his hat when entering a building. The type of building is of no concern. The only exception to this is IF the hat in question is part of a uniform....a work uniform.....and the building you are entering is where this work is performed.

That not only addresses your brother's conduct, but your's as well. Hope this cleared it up for you.

Answer 7

As archaic as the custom may be it is still bad manners to wear a hat indoors and if asked to remove a hat when entering someones house, if you are in their house go by their rules..you would expect it done for you. How about smoking..would you smoke in someones house if they asked you not to or allow someone to smoke in your hoise(if you are a non smoker). Thats a lot bigger scrifice than a hat. Always take a hat off when eating. Lack of manners is a big part of what's wrong with the world today. Do what you feel but if I were your wife's uncle I wouldnt have let you in the house at the best at worst we would have gone a couple of rounds.

Answer 8

I agree with your brothers situation but not on your work situation. If he was in someones house and it was a casual meeting, I dont think wearing a hat was a big deal. But you on the other hand are at work. You have to dress the part and if you show up wearing a hat everyday like you just rolled out of bed and threw it on and went to work, it would look like you dont care about your job much. Wear it to work on Fridays. And the rest of the week, fix your hair.

Answer 9

I have to admit, I never really understood why the hats-off-indoors rule exists. While I do follow it when I wear a hat, I have to confess it's not the same as, say, chewing with the mouth open, or toothpicking your teeth in public.

Answer 10

Plain and simple, taking your hat off in someone's house is a sign of respect. I also believe that you should never wear your hat at the dinner table - that is immature and shows disrespect for God.

Answer 11

I think it's sad that you allow a HAT control so much of your life. My belief is out of respect: to remove your hat indoors and when you are greeted or greeting others. I also believe your brother was rude when greeting the uncle. GOOD LUCK.