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you had problems with for two years and you decided to just be friends and they wanted to be more, what would you do? this guy i have loved for 2 years wants to be with me. he loves me but he has issues, and i feel like he wont change. so if he is promisisng to change and wants to stay would you let him. nothing seemed to work in the past as far as our communication and compromising. i finally deciced to move on and he doesnt want to loose me. but at the same time he has done nothing in the past to work hard at making this work. he always walked away. he sounds very convincing but his track recoed doesnt look good. i think he realizes that im almost out of his life. im scared to let go and im scared to stay with him. iys really hard cuz i do love this guy.

2006-11-01 01:18:33 · 16 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

16 answers

i would tell him that he had to change before you take him back to prove to you that he really does love you and that he is willing to do anything to prove it to you.....i wouldn't take him back until then.....just stay friends with him until you know for sure it is going to be different this time....if he really does love and respect you he will do everything you ask and if you really love him then you should be willing to wait to see how serious he is!!

Good Luck!!!

2006-11-01 01:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by polarbaby 5 · 0 0

Love is defined many ways and if I am reading your question correctly, you are more afraid to be without a boyfriend in your life. Not just him but any boyfriend at all. Two years seems like a long time but if it is as you have described it is long enough. When two people are IN love with each other it is very easy to compromise and discuss things. He can do neither. I think you, think you love him only.

You will do fine without him and as you start to date again remind yourself of his traights and dont accept the same traights in the next guy. If you see similar stuff move on quickly.

I never thought I could live without my guy and I hung in there for 5 years. After I was gone from him I realized how bad it truly was and the next guy (17 years now) is completely different in all the best ways.

You will be OK, it only hurts for a bit - remember to look for sunshine and your days will be just as bright without him.

2006-11-01 09:26:38 · answer #2 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0 0

He has to change for himself, not you. If he wants better relationships in general, but most guys aren't really worried about that. He can't learn to communicate or compromise with out help. It is not going to come naturally. I guess it depends on the level of change he is doing. Is he waiting for you to come back to make changes, then I'd be leery. If he is already making REAL changes, then if you WANT to try again, it;s up to you. Love doesn't "make" a relationship, you can love someone and not be able to have a healthy relationship together. If you can see changes happen and he can give REAL answers to how he is going to learn more, i.e. counseling, read a "certain" book, not just in general, spend 20 minutes each evening talking to you and learning what you need, etc..... It is going to be real work. you are wise to question, and wise to choose to move on if the relationship wasn't growing. Follow YOUR heart, not his, listen to that voice inside you. It sounds like you already know the answer, you just need to hear it from someone else......Good luck

2006-11-01 09:30:04 · answer #3 · answered by zekemarie 3 · 0 0

aw i feel for u because i am in the exact situation. me n my boyfriend were together for over a year and all through out the relationship he was doing drugs and other things over and over and finally i left him. he said he would change and a week later we were together and it was the same thing all over again. i must have fell for that "im gonna change for you" thing 10 times.finally a month ago i got fed up and we broke up for good. of course he still loves me and i still love him but sometimes u just gotta get away from it. so my advice is that if u really love him give him another chance. but if he blows it again, then u will see you are better off alone.

2006-11-01 09:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

if you love him really then listen to someone who let her true love get away 16 years ago and i never forgotten not one day.be friend with him . tell him he has to show you some hard work and you want to see it and you want to see a counselor to talk about whats right for you and both of you.and 2nd i dont know your ages but you have a whole life ahead of you and if you give him this last greatly counted chance tell him let him know 4 sure ,no more!!! lifeis to precious your to kind hearted if he keeps screwing up you have a to look for someone to be good to you who will love and look out for you and he should want that for you or he doesnt really love you,im sorry.

2006-11-01 09:36:29 · answer #5 · answered by pookie 2 · 0 0

You're living in a dream world if you think someone is going to change for you, people are who they are, if you can't deal with the person he is without changing, then walk away. If he does change you can be assured that it will only be temporary, after awhile all the old behaviors will rear its ugly head and then you'll be kicking yourself for letting him back in.

2006-11-01 09:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by Bryce I 1 · 0 0

Walk away. Stop dating for a bit. If he realizes that you stand by your word and it finally clicks to him that he needs to change. He will make the effort to change and he'll make sure you know that he changed. Who knows, this might be the kick in the pants that he needs.

2006-11-01 09:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Just tell him that and tell him that maybe you guys should stay friends and once yo ustart seeing a change in him tell him that you're ready to pick things up where you left off ♥

2006-11-01 09:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Elisha♥ 2 · 0 0

do u really love him or are u used to him?i was in your position and i've found out that if i was really in love with him,i'd continue to be with him and i'd love all these things that were getting on my nerves..so,i wasn't really in love.take some time alone and think.your heart will give u the answer u're looking for

2006-11-01 09:24:55 · answer #9 · answered by sotiria 1 · 0 0

I say move on b/c things are going to change for/about him until he really wants them to. Actions speak louder than words, so him saying he's gonna change really doesn't mean anything...

2006-11-01 09:22:53 · answer #10 · answered by beau0021 3 · 0 0

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