I'm an Aunt to a little boy and 4 yr old girl. ever since I was 16 my niece has been in my life. I have my own two children, and take care of them very well. My sister on the other hand never sees her children because she doesn't want to, she didn't even go trick or treating with the kids last night. I can't do anything to change her, but what can I do for the children? I put Donovan to sleep last night and sang him a lullaby and it made me cry, that this was probably his first one. I don't want to spoil them with gifts, just love. I can't take them out because I can't fit 6 six people in my car. What should I do in the comfort of my mom's house (here they live) with them?
2006-11-01 01:06:57 · 9 answers · asked by fourcheeks4 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Just be with them! Love them, sing to them, play with them. Take them for walks, to the park, color with them. If you think about it, more than likely your most cherished memories as a child is of an activity with a parent or favorite adult that really didn't require much money, if any at all. Children don't need tons of gifts to know that you love them. They need your time and attention. What you are doing is right on the mark. Keep up your fantastic work, I'm sure that you are their most treasured aunt.
2006-11-01 01:13:26 · answer #1 · answered by smllover 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you say you can't change your sister? Obviously, you know what you want (you are twenty and have two kids that you take good care of), so you could be a strong influence on your sister as well if you feel she is not expressing enough love to her kids. If you feel she is neglectful the BEST thing you can do for those kids is try to get your sister to connect with them, say the words to her that they cannot say. You cannot substitute Mom, there is no replacement for her so try to work on that. Maybe if you express some of your shortcomings as a Mom (no matter how trivial), she will open up to you and be able to express her real feelings and expectations. Consider this too....maybe your sister has a different idea of how to love her kids (it is not necessary to take toddlers trick-or-treating or sing lullabys or "spoil" them in any way to express your love). Perhaps her parenting style is just different than yours. Whatever the issue, you need to have a heart-to-heart with her and be open-minded. Good luck!
2006-11-01 09:58:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder sometimes how little children stay sane in a world that doesn't want them. sad...
anyway, just make sure that the kids know they are loved, and always will be. Get to know THEM. what do they love? what do they fear? What are they good at? what do they have a hard time with. The best way to let someone know that you love them is to take the time to get to know them. Also, work to show them a world that's good. Show them art, music, nature, laughter, kindness. Come when they need you so the learn loyalty and commitment.
Children are not really that different from adults in the need for love. Do with them as you would anyone you loved.
Peace.
side thought: If you can't take all of them in your car that might be a blessing. take them one at a time. a nice talk over ice cream or cheeseburgers is a good way to build a relationship. good luck.
2006-11-01 09:20:11 · answer #3 · answered by jymsis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are already doing everything you can to make these children feel loved and that's great. Unfourtnately, you can't do anything to change your sister, she has to do that on her own. Maybe just by being a role model to her and showing her what she's missing out on, she will get the idea and want to be a better mother to her kids. I am glad that the kids have an aunt like you to help make them feel loved. Not many kids have that when the mother won't show them the love they deserve. Keep up the great work and God bless you!!!
2006-11-01 09:19:45 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Play outside, do crafts, take them down the street to a store, or just play. Rarely do kids get to play with adults these days--I remember in my childhood playing with my parents and grandparents was the best feeling in the world. Do homework with them or study with them. I've noticed kids love learning. Bring over a book and teach them about Ancient Egypt or London. Take them on adventures through reading. Like you said--anyone can give a child gifts but a really dedicated relative will take them to places of happiness merely by being attentive. When my cousin came to live with me he was so surprised for his birthday we made him a cake, we read every night and he loves that, and we just play--he's always told me how much fun I am--really it's not ME that is fun but what we do that is. Best of luck!
2006-11-01 09:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by .vato. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its pretty much all about the children. they need love they need to know they are loved and if they are old enough to understand that mom isn't in their life they need to know its not their fault. you are only doing the best you can which is GREAT! have they been with you long? i think you mjust need to keep giving them what they need and talk wiht your sis and tell here that her children need her. if she still resists to see them see about adoption. not to sould like you use them for money but with six kids and if your married your income tax wiould be good enough to get yourself a nice car that will fit 6 children in. actually if the kids have been with you for 6 mths out of the year you can still claim them earned income..... just a suggestion to help with the financial needs for the childern.... btw where is their dad? is he not in their life either...... thats jsut sad. take care of the kids your are their new role model now!
2006-11-01 09:18:48 · answer #6 · answered by B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thumbs up to you for being such a caring person who wants to help others. That's a shame your sister doesn't care for her children the way they should be cared for. Thank goodness they have you in their life. Just be there for them at home, show them love, tell them you love them, play games, spend time with them, etc. They will be loved and they will love you. Good luck.
PS who is that cute girl in your pic?
2006-11-01 10:20:49 · answer #7 · answered by Cookie On My Mind 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be with them when you can but try not to feel sorry for them. You don't want them to grow up with a victim mentality. They'll learn soon enough that their situation is extraordinary, but if they catch Auntie crying, they might think something is wrong with them.
2006-11-01 09:16:18 · answer #8 · answered by Kacky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just what you are doing and I think you should talk to your sister tell her what a shame it is ..
2006-11-01 09:10:25 · answer #9 · answered by mum 2 Cameron and Ewan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋