I have two children and she wants kids really bad, but the whole family knows they are not ready, since they are totally involved in themselves. They never spend time with the family because they have "appointments" . Plus she has never taken care of a baby, doesn't mean she won't be a great mom it's just her reaction towards kids. My daughter spit up on her clothes and she threw a temper tantrum worse than my two year old. They are horrible aunts and uncles. When I saw them at target one day with my son and I was pregnant, they ran into a aisle once they saw me. How rude! My brother who lives in nebraska and my brother in law that lives in california are way better uncles than this one, and he even lives here. You can tell he is not ready for kids. He abuses my son with words like saying "you are a mommy's boy and you need to grow up, stop being a baby and be a man." I am lucky I got the better son out of the two. I think that a baby will break them up. What do I know, so help me.
2006-11-01 00:48:28 · 15 answers · asked by fourcheeks4 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Who is going to take care of the children while they conitune to go on with their lives? They told me they won't change after having a baby. I am certainly not babysitting while I have two children, and they really don't talk to the family or go out to dinner. They baby sat my son for an 30 mins and told me to come back as soon as possible, because it was too much for them.
2006-11-01 00:51:11 · update #1
I'M NOT TRYING TO STOP THEM, I just want them to be nicer to our children basically
2006-11-01 00:58:12 · update #2
IF THEY HAD CHILDREN WHILE CONTINUING THEIR CURRENT LIFE THEIR CHILDREN WILL BE PASSED ON FROM PERSON TOPERSON
2006-11-01 00:59:50 · update #3
I see what type of parents they will be because of how negative they are to child in general, he doesn't even like his own sister and she's 12. How could you hate a 12 yr old that is so sweet and that you never see except on holidays
2006-11-01 01:09:11 · update #4
Sometimes it's great to watch people like this have a baby- it totally screws up their lives and they can no longer be selfish. Theres not much to do- if they want kids they will have them. I would just enjoy watching it. How misreable she is when she is pregnant- and how a newborn is hard work. Just enjoy the show!
2006-11-01 00:55:35 · answer #1 · answered by Amy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister was the same way. When it came to my 2 little boys, she was the hugest biatch.. and I'm not joking. SHe would scream at my 2 year old for wetting his pants by accident, she would throw a fit and cry if she got spit up on.. she wouldn't hold them unless they had already been fed and changed and bathed.. so as not to offend her delicate nasal passages.. she was the biggest most self centered snot that walked on the planet.
But, then she had a baby, and she changed almost over night. It was amazing. She went from this person who was living off credit cards (even though she had a great paying job) to someone who saved all her money. She asked me questions all the time about my kids, she called to ask me pregnancy things. She took my kids for the weekend so that she could get some practice, and I almost fainted when I heard that she changed my youngest's diaper.. When she realized that she was going to have a baby, she changed.
Perhaps that will happen to your brother and sister in law.. perhaps not, but sometimes, when faced with something that's so big.. people change. It's not unheard of. I've seen it.
But, maybe in the face of adversity, you can be the best aunt in the world.. if they have a baby and don't change.. it gives you the chance to be the aunt that they'll come too when they need advice or help.. and you can make sure that someone is there for them. Because you know how it is.. and they don't.
2006-11-01 01:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by Imani 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having children yourself I bet you can give example after example of all the ways you have changed as a person. You have, no doubt, found out things about yourself that you had absolutely no idea about. Good and Bad, and the bad you try and do something about, and the good is a pleasant surprise.
Having said this, how is it you can judge the type of parents they are going to be? How is it you can make assumptions about marriage you are not in? How is it that you feel that because they aren't there for your family that they won't be there for their own?
For me, I never went near kids and kids hated me...FACT. I was told I couldn't have kids, and felt really good about it...FACT. I thought kids were a major inconvenience, and a nuisance, especially when at the shops....FACT. I didn't hate kids, I hated the thought of me being near them. Not something I am proud of, but when I look back, I just wasn't at a place where I could imagine my life being any different to the way it was. I was happy, or so I thought.
Then I fell pregnant, looked at all my options, and discovered that I really really wanted this child, for right reasons (and before you wonder, we saw a therapist). I am now the proud mother of two children, who turned out to be a much better mother than anyone could have imagined, and ten times happier. I thought having a child wouldn't alter my life that much, but found that my life was never going to be the same again.
I am sure, all mothers, in some form or another has gone through huge changes in who they thought they were as a person.
That said, you should give them the chance to live their lives their way, and make choices they have a right to make. It is not your business, and you should stop spending your time judging so much.
2006-11-01 01:05:26 · answer #3 · answered by chelles_insanity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend, I will say this to you, if your FIL is disowning his own grandchildren, he definitely has a problem. However, the bigger problem you have is not him, but your husband. He has a new family to care for now. Granted it would be wonderful if he could have a good relationship with his dad as well, however, if his father is not accepting your adopted children, as really his grandchildren, your husband has a responsibility to his new family first. My in-laws did not accept our 2 adopted children at first either, and sometimes I think they still don't to a certain extent even though they are 17 and 20 now. But when it was VERY obvious that they did not like the idea that their son adopted instead of passing on their "name" my husband decided that our family was the most important. Your hubby needs to make that choice- children do come first.
2016-03-28 03:22:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you're probably very concerned. But I hear sometimes children change people's lives in amazing ways. You can only hope this happens to them. Sometimes having kids turns people's lives around - for the better. Of course, that doesn't happen all the time, sadly. But you can't prevent them from having kids, so if they do have kids, you just need to be there for the kids. I know you're already doing that for your sister's kids. Seems like you've been forced to take on a lot of responsibility. You seem like a really good person. Good luck.
2006-11-01 02:23:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, so you on the outside looking in. Who's to say that your kids are not little hellions? You didn't mention WHY they "couldn't handle" yours after only 30 minutes. People who are not parents say and do all sorts of things that we as parents find offensive. Once your SIL has a baby of her own, she may do a complete 180 and blow all of you doubters away. Although she is not responding in the way you all think she should be, sit back and see if she does her transformation. Your BIL will change his thoughts as well. Then, if not, they will have to deal with the monsters they created when they procreated.
2006-11-01 01:09:39 · answer #6 · answered by Sherbert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parenting changes people tremendously. That's not to say that they won't be horrible parents, but I have an aunt who used to say horrible stuff to me all the time. Once she had her baby, she was a completely different person. When my mom tried to retaliate against her for all she had said to me, she actually cried and said "don't talk to my child like that". When my mom said that she did it because my aunt had done it to me, my aunt actually apologized! It is possible that they will be like that and will actually respect you and your kids more because they will see that being a parent isn't easy.
Overall, it is their life and if they want to have a baby, that is their right. Trying to stop them is just going to cause tension in your family. If they are horrible parents, then you get the luxury of saying "I told you so!"
2006-11-01 00:55:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they want to have kids then there really isn't anything you can do about it. They probably don't see anything wrong with the way they are living, selfish people are like that. I'm not saying that it's right, but it's just the way it is, so try to keep the peace in your family.
2006-11-01 06:30:41 · answer #8 · answered by WREAGLE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't much you can do to stop them. I fear there is no requirement in this country that you be a good parent in order to reproduce. All you can do is remind them of all the changes a child brings and hope they are wrong and will change when a baby does come.
2006-11-01 00:54:52 · answer #9 · answered by Erin S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like to me they don't need to have a child but if they do there is nothing that you can really do just don't make it easier on them and harder on yourself, stand by your word and don't babysit. A baby might change they might have to grow up. Just don;t worry about it and it will happen the way God wants it to. Good luck
2006-11-01 00:56:51 · answer #10 · answered by Chandra H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋