I broke up with my boyfriend this weekend. He was sad at the time but accepted it. last night on the phone he was saying we could work things out and that things were not that bad. I got really upset at this and had to stop myself saying its all your fault, you ruined it,your selfish and cold etc. How can I get him to move on, I dont want to destroy his confidence, but I was very unhappy and am now very pleased we are no longer together.
2006-10-31 23:56:26 · 23 answers · asked by IwishicoulddeleteYahooAnswers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would just explain to him that there is no where for the relationship to go. You don't want him anymore and that he has to let you go because it is not fair on either of you if he doesn't!
2006-10-31 23:59:13 · answer #1 · answered by oxEmmaxo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you gotta sympathise with the chap, for all his faults, he obviously liked you and the fact he wanted to work things out suggests he was willing to try and change himself for you... but if its over, then its over.
Give the man time, suggest it might be a good idea if you go for a period without being in touch so you can both adapt. I think it will probably do him the power of good and will help him accept the new situation.
Dont try the 'lets be friends' thing too early and above all, if you have made a decision, stick to it and give him no reason to think the situation is anything different from what it is.
He's probably feeling very shaken up and delicate, so give him time. A few drinks with the lads and time to move on and all will be well.
2006-11-01 08:07:13 · answer #2 · answered by Caffeine Fiend 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can`t inevitably someone gets hurt. Having been in that position myself you are desperate to get back to some normality, it`s human nature. But the fact is they will try to hard or everytime you do not want to go out say. They will think it is happening again.
The best thing you can do for yourself on the basis you really are sure it is over is move on. Do not give false hope it only makes matters worse. Just go do not take there calls, be adamant iti is over. It is better in the long term for both of you. Trust me....
What are you doing tonight by the way ;-)
2006-11-01 08:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by galaxy_glider 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't want to hurt him then tell him that it was you and not him. tell him that you were really unhappy with the relationship and it was tearing you apart and you didn't want to stay there in Case you ended up resenting him and you care for him too much too feel like that towards him, but at the same time staying with him will destroy you and make you really unhappy so you feel its best if you stay friends make sure you tell him that if he carries on obsessing over this then you can no longer be friends either. he should understand this and if he cares for you at all he will let you move on.
2006-11-01 08:07:47 · answer #4 · answered by redhead haylz xx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that it takes 2 of you to work at it and work things out and that you dont want to anymore. You have given what you can to the relationship and now you want to move on. Dont hurt him more than you need too just persevere and he will get the message, no need to tell him you were unhappy just that it wasnt working for you in the end.
2006-11-01 08:06:33 · answer #5 · answered by mjastbury 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and break all contact with him, at least for 3 months. Its the best way to do it, it gives you both time to move on and the emotions to die down. If he keeps texting you or calling you, just ignore him, and if that doesn't work, just tell him in no uncertain terms that it's not happening. You obviously made the right decision if you feel so relieved that its over. Good Luck!
2006-11-01 08:03:44 · answer #6 · answered by iwatchedthestarsfallsilently 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him to move on. Women are too indirect with their communication with guys which confuses us. If you don't like him give him all your reasons for not liking him. He might be crushed for a little while. But, he'll find his own faults, and he can fix them. If women would just be more direct, there will be so many better men in this world. But, women aren't direct. This is why most of us can never improve.
2006-11-01 08:04:33 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Main Event 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey..sometimes it's best to be honest..even if it's cold and brings someone down a notch.If he was really selfish and cold..then maybe he has a little to much self confidence in the first place.Maybe your coldness will be his wakeup call and help him to move on and be better in the longrun.
2006-11-01 08:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by jen_n_tn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you weren't happy with the ways things were. You don't have to tell him he's an *** (but if he is then he probably deserves to hear it). He's not going to just accept it, trust me on that one. It'll take some time, but if he trys to keep talking to you and saying that you can work things out tell him that its not what you want, and that you're moving on with your life, and he should do the same.
2006-11-01 08:00:32 · answer #9 · answered by bored_at_work 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find writing a letter can be usefull. Even if you don't post it. By composing your thoughs and putting them on paper in a structured way, it helps you to express what you are truely thinking.
I have recently split with my partner of 5 years, it was my decision, based on his inability to move things forward with us. I found it difficult to tell him what I felt wiithout crushing him, but actually he needed to know...as this appears to be an ongoing issue he has.
We still find it difficult even having a civil conversation, even though we both very much want to be able to be friends, but we both see that we need time to heal...we are both still very dissapointed with each other.
Give it some time!!
2006-11-01 08:03:37 · answer #10 · answered by JULIE C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really wanted him gone he'd be gone in a heartbeat. You are getting some kind of a thrill from stringing him along. If it was his fault tell him - give him all your reasons, tell him how you truly feel about him. He'll leave you alone.
2006-11-01 07:59:59 · answer #11 · answered by AlphaFemale 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋