Me and my husband has an arguments last night because my baby is crying so much and we dont know why..My nanny came to me to get the baby, I gave it to her because maybe to her she will not cry. My husband told me like "What you/we gonna do if the nanny is not with us? He said it was just a joke, but to me, I feel I am insulted because it seems to me that I am incompetent mother and wife to my son. Am I really too sensitive? What do you think about it? We came from a different nationalities.. he is american I am asian.. But eventhough, we are happy together, just the language barriers sometimes causes problem. He thinks this I think that way...
2006-10-31 23:41:53 · 7 answers · asked by just me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are too sensitive. Even though he was joking he still was somewhat sincere considering it is a very logical question. Maybe you are taking his comment too seriously because deep inside yourself you know he is somewhat right and it hurts. Either way, if you take everything he says so seriously and personally you are going to be one unhappy woman as he is not perfect and can't always be wrong about everything. Disagreements in relationships are common, healthy and expected. To be able to workout those disagreements together is what creates a great compatible relationship. Try not to worry so much about such small things and be thankful for the wonderful life and family you have. Good Luck & God Bless!
2006-11-01 02:27:06 · answer #1 · answered by zero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope your husband is willing to take equal responsibility in parenting with you, it is not just a mother's job, no matter what the nationality or background you both might come from. Parenting is a collective job of the entire family as they used to say it takes an entire village to raise a child. This translates in modern terms as a collective team of both parents as care-givers and also care takers. That is why it is so essential to have some elder or at best grandparents close with newborns, it is blessing out here in Asia that we have so close at home and at heart that we can always reach out to them be it for an advice or sometimes when we just want to take a break. Be easy on your self will you. Your husband seems to be taking it more lightly than you are.
Next arm yourself with care giving skills that are not hard to learn anyway, just meet up with your family elder or grandparents, let them share their experiences and train you in this job title of yours. Even your own nanny can teach you a few things in case of emergency like the other night. In India, most children and new parents are lucky as they have grandparents living with them. All the best with that.
Have heart, give yourself a break, you are still so new to this job, we all learn slowly didn’t we, be it being adult or being a parent! Give yourself some time, I am sure every mother feels the way you do now, and it is only a matter of time when you will start giving parenting advice to other young mother that is the way life goes.
Always remember, a happy mother makes for a happy child, so when you are tired or frustrated with over work make sure you clear yourself up before you fetch or play with your child as you would be more relaxed and fun and kids love it, as it is kids these days are so sensitive that they quickly pick on a parents disturbed energy, when they cant handle they get irritable and quirky, so be careful with that too.
TRY on line parenting sites like
http://www.parentsurvival.org/blog
and
http://www.supernanny.co.uk/ some good books there.
2006-11-01 08:21:28 · answer #2 · answered by Abhishek Joshi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the baby was crying you gave him to the nanny. Thats kind of giving up isn't it? You should take the time to find out why the baby is crying, could be gas, hunger, pain, could just want to be held by his Mommy! I agree with your husband!
2006-11-01 08:40:27 · answer #3 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that what he said has really bothered you and hurted your feelings. That you love your child and would like to take care of the baby but sometimes you just need a break and he should understand that. Good Luck. Being a mother is the hardest job in the entire world, all mothers should be appreciated.
2006-11-01 07:48:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a nanny? Wow. That's neat.
I think he was really asking you what you would do, in the form of a joke, and did not mean harm, he just wanted to see what you would say and get you thinking.
2006-11-01 08:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tried and spend more time with your son. Bond with him he needs his mother not the nanny.
2006-11-01 07:55:05 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this is tough situation. try harder. try talking to him about ur probs n all. u know what i mean.
2006-11-01 07:46:00 · answer #7 · answered by bramarock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋