Me and my husband has an arguments last night because my baby is crying so much and we dont know why..My nanny came to me to get the baby, I gave it to her because maybe to her she will not cry. My husband told me like "What you/we gonna do if the nanny is not with us? He said it was just a joke, but to me, I feel I am insulted because it seems to me that I am incompetent mother and wife to my son. Am I really too sensitive? What do you think about it? We came from a different nationalities.. he is american I am asian.. But eventhough, we are happy together, just the language barriers sometimes causes problem. He thinks this I think that way...
2006-10-31 23:38:16 · 7 answers · asked by just me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
to the first answerer, I didnt mean to put "it" to my question...
I am a working mother, I helped my husband financially, and we get a nanny to take care of the baby..But after work 5:30 onwards I am the one who take care my baby.
2006-10-31 23:48:50 · update #1
You can relax and go a whole lot easier on yourself.
Babys cry and fuss. Even the best parents are frustrated by their inability to understand the baby. They cry for no reason. Sometimes they cry just because they need to cry.
All you can do is to have your husband and yourself spend as much time with the baby as you can. Spend as much time together with eachother and the baby too. The time is necessary for bonding and to learn about eachother.
This baby is a strange alien being that definately does not speak the language. You and your husband need some more time too to feel comfortable together. The three of you just need time and rest.
Like most people, you are probably trying to achieve an awful lot in careers and in life outside of the home. You might want to think about priorities and see if both of you can devote more time to family and slow down outside. More rest and more loving family time will probably make all of you feel more like family.
Look at your committments/ house/ mortgage/ payments/ income/ bills/ nanny/ expenses/ etc etc etc and see what you can do without. Maybe you can actually cut back and have more with less.
There is a great website "www.amoneyminute.com" from Crown Financial Ministries. They can help you think about raising a family and having time to learn to be with your kids. Who knows, you might find a way to have a great time raising a bunch of really happy kids and a really happy family too.
I imagine that there are a lot of familys that have cultural friction when one partner is asian and the other is american. We americans are over confident and pretty pig headed (you can tell him it is a cultural thing) After all we have been used to having things our way for the last hundred years, and in America, that is forever.
You might look for a asian/american christian church in your area. They usually have couples counciling. And there will probably be other asian wives that have american husbands who can relate with your situation. They should be able to help.
Jesus loves you Dear. -----and so does your husband, I bet!
2006-11-01 00:32:15 · answer #1 · answered by WhoKnows?1995 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have a nanny ? I thought in the asian culture it is against your religion to have a nanny. I think maybe you should try hands on with the baby . Comfort the baby not give it to the nanny. you should refer to your baby ,by the babys name. You called your baby it. I think maybe your husband is right maybe you are an incompetant mother try taking some parenting classes maybe they will help you understand children a little better. obviously your mother did not do a good job with you. Good luck and god bless.
2006-10-31 23:46:22 · answer #2 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well me and my wife my a new born as well and we kinda fuss and each other we he crys and we have a part time nanny but i don't think we was trying to hurt you he just was thinking what we do if...... maybe trying to come up with a game plan....
so you pray for me and i for you and hopefully we will be able to raise are children right ¿
2006-10-31 23:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by 32606 3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tried and spend more time with your son. Bond with him he needs his mother not the nanny.
2006-10-31 23:54:39 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he would like you to be mothering the child yourself.
2006-10-31 23:48:01 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the only thought I have is, "Why the hell is she not raising her own child?" Are you disabled or something? And you referred to your child as "it". How motherly.
2006-10-31 23:42:08 · answer #6 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pray about it.first you must accept jesus as your lord and savior and repent from your sins so you can be right with god and be saved.
2006-11-01 07:17:36 · answer #7 · answered by Dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋