What is your opinion on other parents telling off your child in your presence?

Question

This has happened to me and i was a little annoyed, as my child was not doing something i considered 'naughty'. How would you handle it?

*my 'little darling' was swinging on a fence and singing a song. Weird parent told her she was damaging school property???? Thanks guys, for your advice. Realise now I really ought to have said something. For my daughters sake more than anything

Answer 1

I would tell the parent in front of my child not to talk rubbish and tell them that I am capable of telling off my child if it is neccessary.
However don't feel bad for not doing so. All you can do now is make sure your child knows that they did nothing wrong in your book and to ignore people who are rude or unfair to them just for the sake of it. You can also be on your guard with this parent in the future. I personally wouldn't allow my child to be alone or under the supervision of this person in the future, but it may not be avoidable in which case make sure your little one knows to report to you about other outbursts from this parent, so you can know what is going on and reassure your child.

Answer 2

It sounds like your child wasn't doing anything that any other normal child wouldn't have done. You might want to check if the school has a policy about kids climbing on the fence, though. But it does seem that person was out of line, however, I have no problem telling other people's children to get in in gear if the parent's are not going to. Perfect example, I took my son to a petting zoo recently. We were inside the gate feeding the animals while there was another family outside the gate. The kids were feeding the animals through the rails and the parents were sitting pretty far away from the kids. Both children would grab the animals and pull them closer and hold them to the rails while they shoved food in the animals mouths. When it was clear the parents were not aware or that they were not going to correct this behavior, I told them both to let go of the animals and that it was not nice to do. They did and then went to tell their parents what I had said. The parents complained to me and I stood my ground politely. They then involved the petting zoo attendant who after hearing all the details asked them to leave. Long story short, it's not right that parents do not make their children behave when their safety or the safety of others, even animals, is compromised and I will speak up when I need to.

Answer 3

I would not allow others to discipline my child on the mere fact that it is not their responsibility to do so. If I thought my child was doing something wrong I would be the one to punish them, whether we were in public or in private. No one has the right to say anything to your child.

If it were to happen again, I would tell the parent that if they have an issue with what your child is doing, they need to talk to YOU.

Also, this is a time of stranger danger. If your child did what the annoying parent said and got down from the fence, you need to talk with them about how it is not okay to be talking to and listening to strangers. What if you weren't around and someone had said "Get off that fence and come with me. You're in trouble." Would the child have listened and followed that person?

Unfortunately today, our world is filled with freaks and know-it-alls. I would keep BOTH types of people away from my child!

Answer 4

Sorry I'm confused, she was swinging on a fence? I don't think fences are meant to be swung on.

Sometimes parents view their kids with rose colored glasses on.

Just last weekend, there was this mother and her 11-12 year old son in front of me at a Karate school, and he was swearing in front of young kids the whole time - she didn't say anything at all! I thought that was disgusting. Maybe she didn't think he was doing anything naughty - but he was.

Answer 5

well i would not have said nothing to the child but to the parent and let the parent handle it but in this case u do have people like that and would of told the other parent to mind his/her own business its not like she was doing something wrong, i remember i used to swing on the fence in school when i was young but never had a school offical tell me i was destroying school property just

Answer 6

It is not within the province of some other parent to discipline your child in the normal course of day-to-day events. The parent should have voiced the concern to you and let you take appropriate action. This other parent might have had some extremist ideals that do not mesh with your own, so they have no business trying to mold the kid into their philosophy. I am sure they would not like you telling their kid a thing or two, would they? No, they would not.

Answer 7

I would ask them not to but if the child was annoying someone then I think they have a right to tell them off if you look like your not going to do it.. also if the child is in someone Else's home and being a nuisance then they should come to you and tell you they think its inappropriate... I have been on the other side of this.. when a 5 year old was in my house playing with everything the mother say please don't do that and continue talking the kid continued and then I realized I had to say something.. I asked if he was bored and if he wanted to play with something else instead because.. his mum got pissed off with me I didn't think I did anything wrong I didn't raise my voice or sound angry with him ....... but hey each to there own I don't invite her over any more.... I think she was being disrespectful to me letting her son do that in my home..

Answer 8

dilemma:your child thinks you are not defending them?
:you teach your child confrontation!
tell me what your little darling did and let me judge!
well in that case,swinging on a fence and singing a song,i would have tore strips off them! but damaging a fence and singing an offensive song i would have had a quiet word, and politely told the other parent"in future you refer all your complaints about my child to me,and i will afford you the same courtesy, GOOD-DAY MADAM"

Answer 9

That's a tough one! I'd really think about it before I said something that may escalate the situation more.
It would be helpful to know exactly what your child was doing, because peoples ideas of what is acceptable behaviour can vary so much from one person to another.
But generally, I'd let it slide unless it was really extreme.

Edit: Now that I know what your child was doing, I think the parent's reaction was extreme! So, I would have told them to get the hell away from my kid, and speak to me if they had a problem with that!

Answer 10

Some parents are over controlling, No it is not right to tell off one others child, because they aren't their responsibility, Whether they were right or not, it is none of their business.