what is it like to adopt a child?

Question

i would like to hear from people who have actually adopted either British children or children from overseas what the experience has been like.

Answer 1

your best bet is to contact your local shire or city offices and get in touch with the fostering and adoption services talk to mother and father that have adopted... sit down with them.... I am considering carrying a child and adopting one as well. there are some lovely kids out there just looking for homes.........

depends were in the UK you are but hackey council has information and profiles on there site.

good luck

Answer 2

Hi
I'm 27 and adopted. My mother was a career woman who split with her abusive partner (my father) then found she was pregnant. She moved away to give birth so he wouldnt find out, as she didnt want him in my life. Fair play to her. I was told from an early age, but was "born" in to a very fortunate family who were desperate for a child after still births and miscarriage. I have no urge to trace my mother as yet but maybe someday. I do worry about people wanting to adopt foreign kids. Afterall doesnt charity begin at home and all that? There are thousands of babies to teens needing the love of a great family. Dont be put off by the home visits and interviews. Theyre only there to weed out the weirdos. Good luck and I hope youre successful. xx

Answer 3

Well I know that in the UK its REALLY hard to get approved for adoption.

Firstly if you go through a religious charity or something they may reject you because you are not regular churchgoers or are not baptised/confirmed.

Social Services can reject you because of several ridiculous reasons - your age (35 plus) or because you are overweight, have had depression in the past, or one of you had a previous relationship before meeting your current spouse. Stupid reasons basically.

You have to go through hell and high water to get approved - interviews, courses, more interviews, having every aspect of your life poked and pried into.

And then if you manage to get through it all there is a waiting list to adopt as contrary to what some people say about "kids needing homes" there are not enough children needing adoption to offer everyone a baby straight away. This is not Battersea Dogs Home with kids instead of dogs you know!! This is because most teen and unmarried mums these days have abortions or keep their babies and the only ones up for adoption are those who have been taken away from their parents by Social Services - hence they often have special needs and behavioural problems.

A colleague of mine tried for years to have a baby but after several failed IVFs decided to go the adoption route. After a torturous process (which she said she felt like abandoning several times as it was really difficult and stressful) they were approved but placed on a waiting list.

They were eventually (aftera very long wait) offered a child - the only one that was available - a 5 year old boy with severe behavioural difficulties. They took him but having had no prior parenting experience they found his special needs really hard to deal with - she nearly had a breadown through the stress and their marriage came close to collapsing.

We were told not even to bother trying for adoption as I'm 34 and my BF is 24 and they wouldn't accept a couple with an age gap where the woman was older, plus I had been married before. Luckily I managed to get pregnant naturally but otherwise I'd have gone for IVF.

It makes me sick to hear people spouting crap about how IVF is "wrong" and infertile people should adopt. I draw comfort from the fact that these people are largely ignorant of how hard and difficult the adoption process is in the UK and don't actually know what they are talking about. Or they are American and I gather things are much easier over there.

Answer 4

Adoption is a good thing. From Chennai a couple from Sweeden has adopted a baby girl thru govt. of India. She is Jennet Einorsens working with Erricson in 1970. Good Girl. Good bringing up. The nature of the child is in bringing up, and not in their birth.
The above is only an example.

Answer 5

i´m adopted myself and i think it´s a real good thing to do when you know the child wouldn´t have had a fair chance of growing with his real parents but sometimes you miss your real parents and wonder what they´re like! difficult decision!but saved my life!

Answer 6

its magical. you feel like you are helping children that need the love from other people!!