TruthHurts want to know if men want to be at the birth of their babies. He doesn't like all the blood and gunge that accompanies the birth.
Well, neither did I. I didn't have a choice. I'd have liked a nice clean little parcel handed over to me instead of spending hours writhing on a bed in pain. (Natural childbirth is for the birds.) And yes, I didn't like the fact that it was so undignified.
But the one person I wanted to share the magic moment of our baby's birth was my husband.
Yes, he was useless. But that didn't matter. It was OUR baby!
It didn't work out that way - I had an emergency caesar for our second and our first - he was busy discussing our options with the doctor in the passage outside the room. I still wanted him to be with me. Why would you want your husband to be there?
2006-10-31 23:05:44 · 33 answers · asked by True Blue Brit 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Rudebox Do it in the dark, then! If you wife wants you there, be there!
2006-10-31 23:11:05 · update #1
Hacker - why are you off school?
2006-10-31 23:25:31 · update #2
I wanted my husband there because I love him, he is the half that makes me whole and without him there it wouldn't have been the same. He was there the whole time with encouraging words and a smile on his face. I was scared, he was scared but we did it TOGETHER. I needed him there for support and I wanted him to have that memory forever.Before we went into the delivery room he said he was going to stay at the head of the bed with me and hold my hand because he didn't want to see all the blood, etc. But once I started pushing and you could see our baby's head he was right down there with the doctor. He was so excited he didn't care about all the "gross" stuff. He tells me all the time that he will never forget the image of our baby being born, it was the most exciting day of his life and mine.
2006-11-01 00:47:45 · answer #1 · answered by Busy Mommy of 3 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I loved that he was there. Don't get me wrong he had his moments such as when he would try and guess when my contractions would start which got annoying since I hadn't gotten my epidural yet and I was about 7 cm. He didn't like blood either. Actually he said he didn't even want to cut her umbilical cord. He said he didn't want to hold my legs. He was being soooo macho. Boy did he change!! He turned to mush. I think every man should try it and if it gets to be too much leave but before they do remember what the woman is going through. That pain is a lot worse than a little nausea. I needed him and he was there. Sometimes you need a familiar voice to say baby push youre doing good rather than the doctor youve only known for 7 months.
2006-11-01 02:47:08 · answer #2 · answered by Kennedy & Kevin's mommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I have three kids and one on the way. The first baby I had I felt I needed my husband there because of many reasons. For one, he helped make the baby and it was his child too, and even though I am the one that carried it, I felt like he needed to be a part of it as well. Also I ended up having to have an emergency c-section and was very scared and really needed the comfort of my husband. The other two, well they were planned c-sections, but I still felt like daddy should be there, and besides, how many times do you get to see your husband cry? Not many, but this is one of those!
2006-11-01 00:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend was adamant that he didn't want to be there at the birth. my best friend was my birthing partner and my boyfriend was in and out of the room all night. He hated seeing me in pain and it made him angry and upset himself because he couldn't do anything for me. When our daughter arrived he had popped home to get some extra bits for me and when he came back she was only a few minutes old, he was gutted, he held her and just stared at her for about half an hour saying 'i missed her being born, I cant believe I missed it' so he was really gutted. Deep down he was just scared for me and because he couldn't control the situation himself he took himself out of the equasion thinking it would make things better. I am now 6 months and he is definitely going to be there for the birth this time. This time I am having a home birth but the state I was in at my first delivery,only using gas and air I couldnt care who was there. I cant even remember who was in the room when I delivered anyway.
2006-11-01 02:13:19 · answer #4 · answered by SARAH S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously for support. I am 5 months pregnant and the first thing my husband said was that he would be in the waiting room with everyone else. I explained to him that the first time you see your child should be a moment of pure bliss and not disgust. I also gave him the option of not having to look at what went on down there but, to focus on me and my needs through such a tough time. He came around eventually and now he insists upon being right there when we deliver.
2006-10-31 23:11:57 · answer #5 · answered by mandiannprice 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband was there with our 1st 2 but was unable to make it to our last one just 7 weeks ago (he was working out of town and the lil one decided to come 3 weeks early) I am notorious for fast births (checked into the hosp @ 6:04am and had him @ 6:34am- my own doc didn't make it to the delivery.) With that being said, I knew there was no way he would have made it to the birth. Truth be told, with all the commotion going on with prepping me for my fast delivery, I didn't even notice who was there in the room w/ me- let alone the absence of my husband. All was well with the delivery and he eventually made it later that afternoon and we were able to bond together.
So, yes, it would have been nice to have him at the delivery, but sometimes it's just not in the cards
2006-11-01 01:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by Deja' Vu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well we are going on our third child. I ended up with a surprise c-section for our first child...so #2 and #3 are also c-sections. I was in labor for 24 hours with #1. I will tell you, it was a bonding experience for us. Just being there together through something like this is a growing experience for our relationship. But I can see why that wouldn't be the case for all hubbys'. If all a man can consider is the gross factors of labor...then why ruin your bedroom life? But that's a catch 22. And it'snot like the father's are being forced to look 'down there' to see all the gross things. I kept telling my dh to look at me and not there---especially when my water broke....I didn't want him to pass out....
So you don't have to watch....just be there!!
2006-10-31 23:34:10 · answer #7 · answered by momofboys 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was going to be asked to be present when my sister was giving birth to my beautiful niece 8 weeks ago and I would definitely have been there for her.It came about when she wanted her husband present but was worried that he might not be able to handle the blood and gunge like you said,plus she was a bit nervous about having our mum there as she does tend to panic a bit.I was getting really psyched up for it because I was going to be there when a new life started and I could tell my niece when she got older that I was there when she came into the world.In the end my mum and bother-in-law were there and although I was a little bit upset I can look forward to being there for my own children,not sure if my wife will want me to be there but if she does I will be.lol
2006-10-31 23:30:29 · answer #8 · answered by M M 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I just want to say that any man who doesn't want to see the blood etc, doesn't have to look at it. Just focus on your wife. She needs you to be there to comfort her. She wants you to be there because you are her best friend and because it is your baby. My husband was with me for both of ours. I don't think he would have missed it for the world. He even cut the cord on our first, the second was born so fast the nurse delivered him and she cut the cord before he got a chance. But the blood etc doesn't bother my husband. I never saw the placenta with either of my kids. I was so focused on the baby at that point I didn't even really notice what else was going on.
2006-11-01 01:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by kat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 children, & was asleep for a c-section for both of them (I recommend it highly). If I had to be awake, I would have wanted my husband in there for a lot of reasons. You've had to do all the work for 9 months, so it's time for him to step up to the plate to at least give moral support for this new life he helped to create. And all the blood? I wouldn't want to see it either. Tell him to close his eyes ! I don't get it, at all, that everyone says you HAVE to see it, that it's beautiful! There's nothing beautiful about it. It's horrifying, bloody, intense, and somewhat violent. Until the baby is born & cleaned up so nicely......now, THAT is beautiful.
2006-10-31 23:20:02 · answer #10 · answered by Maewest 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋