have ben in relationship for 5 yrs im 27 female john is 42 and really possesive he drinks all the time works away from home.i cheated on him and i told him but i also found out that he had when we were so in love .now he just niggles at me all the time and ur not going out with yor friends if u wanted 2 go out u shouldnt b settled down.i have a 8 yr old son from previous relationship and my son thinks he is his dad .. i just dontv know what 2 do i need 2 have a life aswell not just in the house if anyone weants 2 tlk 2 me on msn caroline_neil138@msn.com thanks
2006-10-31 22:58:33 · 23 answers · asked by cazi26 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Move out and move on. You are obviously not happy with him and you need to do what is best for you. Be positive and strong and discuss the situation with your family. Good luck.
2006-10-31 23:00:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide if you really do still love him, and does he still really love you. What would life be like without him? Is he violent when he drinks - if he is - get out of the relationship. Would you be able to do the things you want to do if you didnt have him? How would it affect your child? Do you do things together - do you want it to work. If you do you need to put more effort into the relationship, and make it work. Go out for the day walking with him and your son. What interests do you have together. Make a list of all the good things and the bad, then make a decision from that list. Money might be difficult if you are on your own too. Think hard about what you are going to do. Good Luck. Life is hard sometimes isnt it.
2006-10-31 23:40:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably all ready know the answer to this question yourself you need to move on. If your not happy then your never going to be. Possesive men are very hard to live with and your lucky if he doesn't start to get abusive on top of it when they can't control you they usually end up pounding on you to beat some since into you so pls be careful. As far as you son that is not the type of role model you wand for your son, your son has a good chance of growing up and acting just like him. Children are not as fragile as people say and by you leaving and becoming happier in the long run it will have a better effect on your son.
2006-10-31 23:11:49 · answer #3 · answered by anon a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of love between you...and no trust, so staying is pretty much useless. Not having a reason to stay, is always a good reason to leave, so don't hesitate.
As far as your son's misconception, set him straight, and get him out of that situation before he learns how to treat women from his example.
You need to start living your own life, do what you want to do, and stop letting others handle all your decisions for you...you are the one who has your best interest as heart...you are the one who has to wake up with yourself every morning, so start taking some control over your life.
2006-10-31 23:08:34 · answer #4 · answered by Joe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are 27 years old,drop this guy and have a life,he is 42 years old and a drinker,and they say age makes you wiser,i know it can be hard to end a relationship,but you are only here in this life one time!Make it count,so your son is 8 and thinks this guy is his dad,but do you want him to really influence your son?If you carry on like this,he may well fall into the same category as your partner,you need to take the bull by the horns and ditch him,if he works away from home and you manage to cope when he is gone,you are already half way there to becoming a singleton again,go out and hit the town with your pals and live a little,and be happy again,sounds like your man is a control freek,go on,make it count!Good luck and be well!
2006-11-01 11:09:52 · answer #5 · answered by cal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u been with him for 5years and he didn't ask 2 marry u, u pretty much know that it's just gonna get worst. Trust me I have been there with an older man and let me tell u it was the same way. U have more of a life ahead of u than he does and trust me he knows it. All I have 2 say is don't sell ur self short.
2006-10-31 23:13:42 · answer #6 · answered by T S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice - And this only applies if you are really not happy with him, then leave him and move out.
Right now it will feel horrible and you will feel insecure and lonely, it will be a big step because you will be so worried about the future. It will be a scary, lonely thing to do.
In five years time you will be saying to everyone it is the best thing you ever did.
If you are just 'a bit bored' then this advice doesn't apply. Only if you are really unhappy with him.
2006-10-31 23:07:11 · answer #7 · answered by abluebobcat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cheated on him, he cheated on you, why are you trying to make this relationship work? Your poor son stuck right in the middle of the two of you acting like children. A relationship is work, especially if you have children involved. It doesn't have to be a chore and it shouldn't be but like anything else in life if you want it you have to work for it and it goes for both of you not just one of you. You are not single so you should stop acting like it. If you want to be single be single and stop cheating on men. Your son should be your first priority, nothing else, not your man, and especially not your sex drive. GROW UP!!!
2006-11-01 00:45:00 · answer #8 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Stop flowing like sea, stop at one destinations, well its rude but think you will grow old one day or the other, why you don;t look or find real love... that will stay forever not one night stay !!
You can surely give time to your relations, as true relations stays, you cheated but confess well and drinking is some thing which you can help him to reduce, try going out for 2-3 night picnic with your kid, you will understand what I mean.
thanks.
2006-10-31 23:04:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he drinks all the time hes an alcholic, you do know that. This is not good for your son to see and hes 8years old he knows whats going on. Don't think of yourself and dump that looser and concontrate on your son, He should be your number one
2006-10-31 23:47:56 · answer #10 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋