Do you ever feel like you want to die but don't want to kill yourself?

Question

And I don't mean like when you're really embarassed or something and want to like melt into the floor or whatever, I mean really wanting to die. If it's not worth the effort to keep on living, and I just have no interest in growing up anymore or having a future at all. How can I still be scared of dying and even go to sleep terrified that I won't wake up in the morning but at the same time also wishing that I wouldn't? It doesn't make sense, it seems like wanting to die is kind of an either or sort of a thing and I don't quite get how I can want both at once.

Answer 1

Many, many times. When I am sad or just really in physical pain or I am just FED up with everything, I sit around thinking "I wish I could die tonight". then when I go to bed I start praying "God don't let me die tonight". I don't know the reason for that. Maybe you do and don't at the same time. Death scares everybody..Don't fret over it..you will die when the time is right .

Answer 2

I can so very much relate to how you are feeling. When I was a teenager (I am now 44) I went through the kind of feelings you are expressing. I actually became good and depressed for a good six months, droped out of high school and became a negative emotional mess. I realized that I couldn't go on that way so I went to see a social worker which helped me cope with some of the issues in my life or rather some of the perceptions (the way I interpreted events) that were getting me into trouble emotionally. It did help. I got my High School Equivalent Diploma and got accepted into University and went on to learn pyschology. Although, I ended up working in business, I think I chose to study physchology so that I could further help myself. Going back, after my depression, I became quite ambivalent about life, not caring whether I live or die, but I kept going through the motions of life (working and going to school), not being able to commit suicide either. Until I had an accident, I broke my leg quite severely, I had to have an operation to fix it and I ended up with two blood clots in my lung, post-operation. The moment that I was told I have two blood clots in my lung (the next route is to the brain or heart and certain death) and I realized that I could lose my life from it, my first words (quite cliche) is that I am too young to die and I have not done anything yet with my life. This incident created a 180 degree turn in my life and made me realize that what ever good is going to come to me, is because I have worked for it or I have sought it out. In absolutely everything and everyone there is good and bad, pluses and minuses. If you want to feel better, start concentrating and focusing on the good you have, in you, in others and in your situation. You can not carry the hold world on your shoulders; the only thing you can really improve is yourself (it is a life-time process). Please do not lose your hope. Try to take pleasure in the simple things, ie. a sunny day, a child at play, etc. Try to reach out to a social worker, physcologist or a counselor at school. If you want to get to a better place (emotionally), you will have to work for it. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

The reason you don't want to kill yourself is that you still have hope that things will get better. You may feel it is an irrational hope, but the very nature of hope suggests that it is irrational at the time it is being felt. I used to feel like this all of the time. I always took a nap so I didn't have to think about it. Trust me, things will get better. Do you think that when I was contemplating suicide that I ever dreamed that I would soon be making more money than my father? Pain is temporary, life is temporary as well, but is longer than pain. Find something you can do to make life better for yourself and do it. You may still feel this way from time to time, but its when the good times outshine the bad that you can fight it effectively.

Answer 4

Wanting to die and actually dooing the act are two differant things. Some times when you are scaered of something you would rather get whatever it is over with so that fear can subside. Maby you need to think of what you could eventually miss out on there could be a great love in your future or something that you wont want to miss. I spent all my young adult life in the same hole that you are in and it took me to hell but I can say with confidence that I am glad that I did not take my life. maby you some day will feal the same

Answer 5

Sounds like you're depressed and in some kind of emotional pain. You don't want to die, but you do want the pain to stop. You need to seek professional help.

If you're in school, you can start with your school counselor who may be able to help you or refer you to someone who can. School counselors aren't usually therapists because they have so many other things to do, but they should be able to at least listen and advise you where to go.

Tell your parents how you're feeling, and don't let them pooh-pooh or minimize it. Your family doctor might also be someone who can help you find a counselor. Also, a psychiatrist is a medical specialist trained to deal with emotional health issues.

You need to talk to these people very soon. You have to take care of yourself by asking for the help that you need. Everybody needs help at some time in their lives. It's the smartest, healthiest ones who ask for it.

Answer 6

You sound like you have first class depression. Do not put it off. See an MD first and have him put you on an anti-depressant. If it doesn't work within a month or so, see a psychiatrist. It isn't normal to want to die even though things these days are very tough. You sound like you are young and your condition can be hormonal or physical rather than merely mental. Do not give into it!

Answer 7

I am a chronic depressive person and I see that you are terrible depressed. Yes there are times when one want to die, but it is not easy to die, and it is not easy to live. You need to see a Psychiatric and get medicates as as possible it is for you, because if you dint see for yourself nobody will do. Don't wait until you Will need to take antidepressants all your life like me. I am figthing my depression every day. God is my only help because my 3 kids are shamed of me.

Answer 8

wats the word...... Depression.

depression is common and its a mental ability we get to terminate ourselves. with a build up of things suicide becomes an easy step. i know that every human goes through a side of deppression which causes anger toward their own self, questions run through your mind, which only a wise person may answer. but there are no wise people around you, you life slowly deteiriorates around you, pain inflicts your ruthless soul and the suicide demon is ready to strike.

but i see you have this other side upon you of commiting suicide or living without exitement that is still depression.

living unhappily is worse than death.
-once death is over its over, living day to day struggling with society, and no enjoyement in life is a totally more painful experience than death. i noe life is a biatch it sucks and i wish i could end it fast but how am i gonna help people when im dead lol, life is worth living, im going under heaps of stress right now, i got debts, banks talking bout repossesion, people stealing out of my banks, assault charges that have to be dealt with, family problems, no work, the list goes on but hey who cares u are who you are and wat god put us on this earth for who knows maybe to make a difference we all see each other and we see each other go. live everyday as if it were your last and every breath as if it were the same!!!

Answer 9

The fear of dying, may be more related to the fear of what it would feel like to die, rather than actually just being dead. Wishing you were dead, really means you just wish you didn't have to feel anymore. If you could wish yourself to sleep forever, that would probably be just as good. HTH : )

Answer 10

Well, as the human race we have a self destruction thing.. we want to die and yet.. You want to know why you don't want to die? It's because your afraid of what's really in that. No one really knows what death is like so naturally we fear it.. it's programed into our psyche as are many other things we'll never understand. So, you want to die yeah but naturally you fear death though you in your terms would say you don't. Natural survival instinct in any animal and humans are classified as animals.
Hope this helps. ^_^