How do you feel? Women only.?

Question

I have met this sweet,kind,wonderful man.He has a big problem with his weight.A huge gut.Would this bother you? I've never been with a heavy man,and for the book, I am not putting heavy men down.I was once heavy myself.I'm just having a hard time picturing having sex with him.

Answer 1

Picture it as "Reverse cowboy".

Answer 2

I was once in the exact position you are in now. I met him through my cousin and he possessed many qualities I was looking for in a man except he was obese. We went out on a few dates and when it came time to get into bed the sight of his gut disgusted me and I could not continue the relationship. I am not a shallow person but I simply was not attracted physically to him. No matter what you decide to do it should not be forced, don't have sex with him if you ain't diggin his body just because he is nice. If it is a problem now it will be a bigger problem later. Someone once told me that what usually bugs you in the beginning of a relationship will usually be the thing to break you up in the end - I have found this to be true in almost every relationship I've had. If you are set on getting involved with this guy maybe you should try and encourage him to lose weight and develop healthier lifestyle choices - all for the sake of his own health of course.

Answer 3

I can understand where you are coming from. People can say it is whats inside that counts, and it does but if we are not physically attracted to that person it won't work out. Now it is true that a persons personality can make them uglier or cuter but I think you need to give the guy a chance. I know you are a sexual animal right now and thats ok just keep in mind that sex will fade and what are you left with?! Would you rather have Mr. Wonderful with a gut (which you can help him/pursuade him to lose) or Mr. Jerk with a great package that works wonderfully. You may pick the first one in your mind but us women know we always go for the sexy, well endowed, finacially stable guy who is a jerk. We always end up heartbroken and into the arms of sweet ol' beer belly guy...think about it. Good luck and Happy Halloween!

Answer 4

You wrote that you met "sweet,kind,wonderful man", but you are "having a hard time picturing having sex with him."

OK, so you met someone you really like, but find unattractive. I think since you met a man with good qualities, you might try to develop a friendship with him and perhaps, as time goes on, his weight will be less of an issue with you.

I have found from my own experience that when you start to like someone very much, the person starts to become physically attractive to you as well.

I also want to tell you that my brother was dating an obese woman. He said he liked her very much, but she was fat. I told him to continue dating her, which he did. Now, they are happily married for many years and my brother refers to her as his soul mate. By the way, she is still obese even though she tried to lose weight - she put it all back on, however, they are still happily married and have one daughter.

Answer 5

Yeah. That's a hard one. I admit. ok. you are REALLY gonna have to look for the inner beauty. I know this GORGEOUS guy but his only problem is that he's HUGE! if he dropped 50 pounds he'd be a model. so for me I guess it wouldn't really be an issue. actually my ex could have stood to lose a few pounds. he wasn't really big but 30 would have helped. he was still a hunk though. Too bad that's all he was. My point is you have to look beyond the outside appearance at how he treats people. you won't even really see his weight anymore. rent shallow hal and you'll see what I mean. See the inner beauty in ALL people and you'll learn to look for it. if this guy could work for the peace corps then you have a real winner! allow me to present another example: there's this other guy... wasn't crazy about his looks. he's beanpole skinny. definitly a rocker and never even thought about that type before but He's really nice and spiritual. matches up inside for inside seems like a really nice guy. but I JUST couldnt' get past his outside. and then one day I did it. now I kinda like his looks. I'm wondering WHY he isn't modeling for GQ. But this is something women do. They don't like a guy, then they get to know him then they fall in love with him. they get to know a pretty boy, find out there's nothing there, then fall out of love with him. very seldom do the two line up. but I would not have talked to this man had I not seen his insides. I had a really hard time talking to him BECAUSE of the way he looked. It was the stuff he said that got me to talk to him.

Answer 6

Heavy man are unbearable during sex. It will not reduce his fun but you will not enjoy at all ! So be very sure what weightage you give to sex in your relationship. I can see it has some importance to you. I would advise not to go ahead if you are concerned with his weight. He will gain more weight, forget about losing weight. And woman on top is not all that cool.

Answer 7

If you are asking this question, there is probably more reasons than you think as to why you do not want to get intimate. Wait awhile and see if this feeling changes. When I really want to be with someone, their fat belly doesn't even occur to me as a problem, but if I don't, I will depict all sorts of problems, whether they have a fat belly or not.

Answer 8

Bottom line - no matter what anyone says, its how you feel. If you are unsure of anything, give it time. But there is no right or wrong answer, or right or wrong way as how you should feel. If you just met him, give it time, enjoy yourself, and let things happen naturally & if it goes beyond what you are comfortable with, you know to let it go.

Answer 9

People comes in packages- for him, he is a sweet, kind, wonderful and big. If you can accept him for what he is- then no doubt relationship can be attained. If you can't, don't waste your time and his. Find other partners that suit to your taste.

Answer 10

I could see how it would be bothersome but you should look past the physical. If you are concerned about his health you should let him know. Communication is the key to a strong and fruitful relationship.

Answer 11

If it makes you feel any better, my man has a big gut, but he's thin everywhere else. I met him this way. The sex is great, and he keeps me warm at night!