I need to go to sleep... Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Answer 1

Once upon a time a pharmaceutical company decided to help those of us who have a hard time going night night. So they developed powerful drugs and then marketed them with hot pharmaceutical reps and commercials with little butterflies. People really liked the sexy salespeople, and the butterflies, so they flocked to their doctors to ask for sleepy-go-night-night pills.

Some of these people experienced hypersensitivity, anorexia, nausea, dizziness, headaches, nervousness, blood pressure and pulse changes, tachycardia, angina, abdominal pain, loss of appetite, weight loss, toxic psychosis, difficulty in thinking, poor concentration, nightmares, emotional dullness, depression, despair sexual dysfunction, sudden, uncontrollable, painful muscle cramps and spasms, writhing, squirming, twisting and grimacing movements, especially of the legs, face, mouth and tongue, drawing the face into a hideous scowl, muscle rigidity, altered mental states, irregular pulse or blood pressure and cardiac problems.

In the end, they stayed up watching season after season of Spongebob Squarepants while plotting to kill butterflies...

The end.

Answer 2

Can do one better.
Lie down and relax. Clench your fists and toes really tight, til you start to shake.
Then relax your muscles. Feel the warmth moving up your legs and up your arms. Concentrate on this warmth. Breathe deeply and scrunch up your forehead. Again relax these muscles. Feel the warmth and relaxation washing over your body and mind.
Picture yourself on a deserted island, the warmth, the sun. The sand is taking all the negative energy away and the sunlight is replacing it with positive energy. You are warm and your arms and legs are very heavy. Your mind is drifting off to sleep. Your body is totally relaxed and this will be the best sleep you have ever had. You will awake totally refreshed. The following night think about the island, clench your toes and fists and you should drift off quicker.
After a week or so, just thinking about the island will put you dreamland.

Answer 3

Once upon a time there was a little girl called Michelle, she would not go to sleep anlone and so after I read her the story and kissed her, she went to sleep, after listening to the "story" all night long, but by then it was time to wake up, and wait for the next night.

Answer 4

once upon a time a doctorate student was tring to sleep on halloween night, because she has a million bajillion things to do the next day. Alas, she could not. :( the kids upstairs where having a halloween party and her boyfriend was snoring like a freaking monster. So what did she do you ask? she put in her custom made earplugs and overdosed on tylonal pm.
the end

Answer 5

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"
The man says - "But I am not a New Yorker!"
"Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning "Brave American saves life of little girl'" - the policeman answers.
"But I am not an American!" - says the man.
"Oh, what are you then?"
The man says - "I am a Pakistani!"
The next day the newspapers prints headline "Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist networks are being investigated"

Answer 6

once upon a time there was a beautiful princess name Michelle....she had almost everything that a woman could ask for....but she can't sleep....she pose a request in yahoo answers that who ever can read her a beautiful story and put her to sleep will be granted a 10 points plus a free trip to yahoo kingdom!!!!

Answer 7

A woman storms into a pet shop demanding her money back from the owner. “You sold me this frog and told me it would be able to satisfy all my sexual desires!”
The clerk tries to calm her down and asks, “Did you do what I told you to do?”

“Yes, dammit! I got naked, lay back on my bed, and put him between my legs just like you said, and he did nothing!” she shouts.

The owner, looking confused, replies, “It’s a perfectly trained frog. I can’t understand what’s wrong.”

He takes the woman and the frog to a back room in the shop, where he places the frog on a small table next to a bed and asks the woman to please lie down and remove her panties.

“What?” she shouts.

Turning to the frog, he says, “Now watch carefully, because this is the last time I’m showing you this!”

Oh!..you are already snoring......!

Answer 8

if you drink a cup of milk before you sleep then you don't need a bedtime story.
i never listen to story before i sleep.....
so i don't have any for you...

Answer 9

Once apon a time there was a big dog and a little dog. The little dog couldnt sleep, so she asked the big dog for a story. The big dog said, "Ok."
Once apon a time there was a big dog and a little dog. The little dog couldnt sleep, so she asked the big dog for a story. The big dog said, "Ok."
Once apon a time there was a big dog and a little dog. The little dog couldnt sleep, so she asked the big dog for a story. The big dog said, "Ok."
Once apon a time there was a big dog and a little dog. The little dog couldnt sleep, so she asked the big dog for a story. The big dog said, "Ok."

Answer 10

There once was a girl named Michelle
who went to bed for a spell
though she tossed and she turned
remembering all that she learned
she danced in her dreams and did well.

Good night.