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I met a man not to long ago that I was instantly comfortable with. He seemed to be really comfortable with me also. We became intensely involved. We talked about everything. He was in the final stages of his divorce and he despised his soon to be ex. His house was up for sale and not long after that he found he needed neck surgery. I felt him pulling away but couldn't do anything to stop it. He said in three months we would have all the time in the world. He said he hoped to spend donkey years with me. We haven't spoken since October 6th when he said he felt very very very deeply about me.He said he didn't want to hurt me and in anger I said he already had. He has so much going on in his life. Is there any chance that he loves me and will be back? I have written several e-mails asking if he is done with me or are we through. No answers!!!!

2006-10-31 16:36:15 · 8 answers · asked by e_piphany214 4 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

8 answers

my wife

2006-10-31 16:38:09 · answer #1 · answered by USMCstingray 7 · 4 1

Wow, you could have been talking about me. I had a similar experience a few years ago. Honestly, men coming out of relationships tend to get more emotionally confused than women. While his feelings for you are genuine his need to be loved and wanted are probably stronger. I did the hardest thing I have ever done and walked away. He never knew how heartbroken I was. Be strong and maintain your dignity, your emails are probably driving him further away. I got on with my life though it took me two years to date again. Earlier this year he re surfaced in my life and while there is caution on both sides, the magic is still there. If it is meant to be, it will be. Just remember, you can't make some one love you and by trying you will drive them further away. Let him sort out his head, he is already dealing with the emotion of divorce. Be a friend if he needs one and if you can give that of yourself. You have come into his life to help him through a difficult stage. Will he come back, only time will tell. Good luck

2006-10-31 16:47:44 · answer #2 · answered by d e 1 · 1 0

He is going back to his wife. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't but he is done with you for whatever reason.

You thought there was much more to the relationship than he did. He has been in a real relationship (his marriage) and you were nowhere near that level of a relationship. You were expendable. You were fun. He said what he said to make sure he kept getting what he wanted out of you. Perhaps he meant what he said to a certain extent (in the heat of passion, heat of emotion, etc. people say things that are exagerated) but . . . it wasn't like it was with his wife.

Case in point, I date a girl a year after my wife left me. We were still technically married and so it was technically cheating. I said a lot of things in the heat of sexual passion, heat of emotional charisma, blah blah blah to the woman I was dating. However, at the moment my wife showed the slightest interest in me again I when running back to her. Yeah, I tried hard not to drop the women I was dating on her *** but . . . in the end she was just a distraction. A band-aid if you will to the immense pain my wife put me through previously. She was a sexual outlet.

Now it has been yet another year with my wife and I still don't have the balls to finalize the divorce. I still put up with her immense amounts of bull$hit like invading every inch of my personal privacy, her constant daggers of the past, and her intensely ill-perception of who I am . . . I haven't had sex with her in almost three years. We live hundreds of miles apart. But you know what . . . I still love her. I still wish we could be together. I know it will never happen. But I can't let go. Now that is true love that is the love that women would die to have from a man and she tramples on it, can't even recognize it, even rejects it. I would have never put up with this type of treatment or behaviour from any other woman (and never will again) but for her . . . I do, because I love her.

He never loved you like that, he never loved you as much as he did his wife.

Sorry for the bad news.

Leave him alone . . . and find someone that isn't still in love with his wife.

2006-10-31 16:53:34 · answer #3 · answered by Payne 3 · 0 0

I think you are being taken for a ride. Most men with marital problems want a shoulder to cry on. You were there at the right moment and were his most accommodating spirit. I sincerely hope you have not committed yourself in anyway, because in the end you might just end up hurt with no shoulder to cry on and perhaps carrying the baby. Take care the world is full of these sad story peddlars.

2006-10-31 16:44:26 · answer #4 · answered by vernon s 2 · 1 0

No answer, is sadly an answer. You need to go on, If he calls you that is wonderful and you can reconnect after you tell him ignoring you will not stand. If he does not maybe he needs time to find himself after a divorce and does not feel up to a relationship. It is not you since he felt the same way, it just may be to soon for him at this point in his life.

2006-10-31 16:39:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

"No answers" is an answer. Back off. Leave the guy alone. Go on with your life.

As they say, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours forever but if it doesn't come back then it was never yours in the first place."

Give him some space and don't hold your breath waiting for him to come back.

2006-10-31 16:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

Hmmm.....just wait it out if you are really into this guy...but as time passes by you may feel differently and move on....just go by your feelings.....wait for them
(your feelings) to process everything and your next move will come naturally.

2006-10-31 16:40:07 · answer #7 · answered by ~MEEEOW~ 5 · 1 1

my husband

2006-10-31 16:39:00 · answer #8 · answered by Mintee 7 · 1 1

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