I have been dating the same guy for 6+ months. We are both 20 something virgins. We have a very good relationship, he seems to really like me, and I really like him. The other night we doing our usual make out at my apartment before we went to bed. I offered to give him oral sex; he said he did not want it. The next day I asked him about it and he said I surprised him by asking, and that he did not want to do that because it would be demeaning to me. Is it possible that he cares so much that that really is true. What should I do if anything? What would you do?
Please don’t respond with “He’s Gay” I know he is not or “He’s just not into you” because I my self thought that but when I really thought about it, it’s not true either, we have such a good base relationship; I know how he really feels about me.
2006-10-31 16:26:38 · 32 answers · asked by lissapony 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I do think that there is a possibility that he cares about you to the point where he feels that is not right! I was a virgin when I married my husband and for the first 5 or so months he didn't let me do it either, he felt the same way until I told him it was somthing I wanted to do because I loved him not because I wanted to be just like all his other ex's. I told him it was a way of pleasing him and we talked about it he made sure I was okay by it and even went about teaching me the things he liked. He will never *** in my mouth because he thinks thats not proper. I suggest you talk to him tell him you love him and this is somthing you want to do to please him. If he'd rather wait then I say just be patient with him, LIke women I assume men also have privacy issues when it comes to their first! GOOD LUCK
2006-10-31 16:40:36 · answer #1 · answered by ~* Pink Princess *~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really are 20 something virgins, then maybe he really does view oral as demeaning. Obviously he isn't just like wanting to get whatever he can whenever he can. Are you virgins for religous reasons? When the Bible speaks of fornication being wrong, that word refers to any use of the sexual organs by another person outside of marriage. So maybe he feels it would be wrong.
2006-10-31 16:32:54 · answer #2 · answered by juniper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that he has a lot of respect for you and it may be against his morals or principles. Be glad kiddo. You have a great relationship there.Think about it. You arent having to hold on to him with sex, he isnt gay and he loves you and himself enough to say no. What should you do? Rejoice and tell him thank you! Just enjoy it as is and keep communications open...youre doing great.There is nothing wrong with being a Virgin until youre married...unpopular as it is in todays world. Respect your boyfriends feelings and be glad he cares so much for you.
2006-10-31 16:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by Allie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be his beliefs regarding oral sex. If over all your relationship is good, you can take that in stride but you may want to discuss sexual beliefs and inhibitions you both have before marrying each other. Sex is not all but then an important part of marital life.
2006-10-31 16:43:21 · answer #4 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey - I was once in your shoes... Don't delve into the oral sex, because it grows into real sex and then your well.... screwed Lol.. As much as people rave about sex, it does change everything... So if you are happy with everything and how everything is with you guys dont ruin what you have by complicating things... I was engaged to the guy and sex ruined it..we have since broken up and i am with a new guy now... I dont intend on ruining it with physical affection
2006-10-31 16:40:14 · answer #5 · answered by preped_up_princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is very immature and if he doesn't grow out of it you will never have a really good sex relationship. He was raised to believe some odd things about women it is in no way demeaning so you need to think of why he feels that way i see a red flag here.
2006-10-31 16:31:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might think that any form of sex is wrong before marriage, and oral sex is a kind of sex.
Also, some people are raised to think that oral sex is a bad thing that good people don't do. You'll need to talk to him about it more to make him feel comfortable. If it's a religious thing, you might not be able to turn him around on it.
2006-10-31 16:30:07 · answer #7 · answered by stevejensen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is not gay and he is very into you!Different people have different oponion about sex especially oral and anal sex , they see it as nasty!You should be happy to meet such rare persons!Accept his wish and never bring it up aagain as it might make him turn away!
Just go with his flow he seems like a youngman every woman dreams of!Very simple and trustworthy!
Goodluck!
Love SANAM
2006-10-31 16:33:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just let it be. of course he's not gay and i can assure you he's into you. maybe he's a virgin and he's afraid that you will lose your virginity to him, which is not very nice if your relationship is not successful in future? it has only been six months, why don't wait a bit longer so that both of you can affirm your feelings for one another? anyway, a relationship doesn't neccesary involve sex for it to be a happy and lovely one. what matters is the heart (; i'm sure he loves you.
good luck =D
2006-10-31 16:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by missjolintan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might be scared of being sexual for the first time, it can be quite scary for most people (it was for me!). It might just be that he wants to save it for that special someone, and im not saying thats not you, im just saying that maybe he wants to be completely certain. Im sure he likes you, but it can be quite demeaning to give oral, so Im not surprised. Just give it time, you two sound very in love, so good luck for you
lots of luv,
ezza
2006-10-31 16:39:08 · answer #10 · answered by ezzaphill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋