I started losing feeling of my gf approximately six months ago (we have been together for 2 years) I did not break up with her because I didn't want to hurt her. Instead I changed my attitude towards her and etc. Now that she can't take it anymore and broke up with me. I really don't want to commit in this relationship; i'm just not ready. Am I really bad?
2006-10-31 16:12:39 · 18 answers · asked by itguru5354 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You were wrong to stay with her when you had lost feelings for her. But you are not bad. She will move on and find the man of her dreams......she dumped you....and was pretty courageous to do so. Some great guy will want her.
2006-10-31 16:16:25 · answer #1 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, not for asking. But, in relationships, and kinda coupled with how short human life is and then considering the limits and windows we have for healthy reproduction on a timeline kinda thing// I would say its a bad move.
Bad to drag it on when its going nowhere. Cuz in a situation like that you're not just delaying yourself, you are messing with her life too. Better to be blunt honest about feelings. Thats all they really are anyways. Maybe there is no good or bad reason about it.
You know where you messed up was in giving her a hard time rather than just a nice clean severance which is much more respectable. So, just remember that if you have similar lack of interest in future relationships. And please remember, if you get one pregnant, you should stay by her for the next 18 years at least and make sure those kids grow up healthy. You really dont have time to stand around and ponder if you ask me. Dont sit around feeling guilty. You lived, and you learned. The lesson was a blessing you can use to avoid bad relationships or terminate them within a respectable period of time in the future ESPECIALLY WHEN you see that its not going anywhere anymore.
2006-11-01 00:20:59 · answer #2 · answered by jorluke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not bad.You have simply been indifferent to her needs. A girl needs love, understanding an affection. A lot of time together is spent on whiling the time away with no care for each other or simply because you took her for granted. Expected her to understand your every move and act accordingly. Love you always even in your indifference. This will not work with girls if you really, truly love them. You too have to be sensitive to their needs, look into what she loves to do and act accordingly. Seems you have not been acting this way. If you really and truly don't love her any more leave her alone. Time mends most broken hearts. And, dont go about disecting her to your friends. It gives you a bad reputation. You'll be doing her a great favour.
2006-11-01 00:29:33 · answer #3 · answered by vernon s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't want to judge. We're all just humans. We get bored, y'know. Maybe she wasn't Miss Right. Relationships aren't always about commitment. It's about getting to know the other person. Understanding the other person. And in the long term, all the lovey-doveyness and being-on-your-best-behaviour kinda wears off right? But you shoulda been honest with her in the first place about your change of feelings. But maybe that was just the problem, the two of you weren't THAT open with each-other. And what's a relationship without being open with your partner? Next time, BE NICE!
2006-11-01 00:27:58 · answer #4 · answered by sk|TTLes™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. If you are not in love with her it's better to break it off. Because of her feelings for you she figured out what your attitude change meant and broke it off. It's obvious that you do have some caring feelings for her but not enough at this time for forever.Only you can decide when you want to be comitted to or love someone. Until then dont try to force feeling something you dont. You will both be miserable if you do. When the time comes you will know.
2006-11-01 00:20:17 · answer #5 · answered by Allie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not bad! It was kinda bad that you kept her in the dark about your feelings. But that fact that you feel bad about it now and did it not to hurt her feelings lets me know that you are a good guy. Next time don't keep the girl in the dark and let her and yourself move on and potential find someone else. That is if this ever does happen again. GOOD LUCK!
2006-11-01 00:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by Andyr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe tell her the truth. If she's broken up with you, and you didn't want to be with her, what is your problem? I don't think a person that starts losing affection for another person can immediately be called a commitment-phobe. The relationship might simply not have been meant to be.
2006-11-01 00:15:11 · answer #7 · answered by bansri47 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hate it when people do that. I won't say you are bad, but why is it so hard to be HONEST. How do you expect to have a good relationship ever if you don't get in the habit of being honest. You wasted her time and yours and you probably ended up hurting her more because you weren't strong enough to tell her that your feelings had changed. Just try to be better in your next relationship.
2006-11-01 00:17:25 · answer #8 · answered by juniper 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No, you are not bad, it is natural. You can't help how you feel, nobody can...and if you feel that you are not ready to commit then it is better that it be done now than 2 more years down the road.
2006-11-01 00:15:29 · answer #9 · answered by chelleighlee 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you're not a bad person. it sounds like you stayed in the relationship to keep from hurting her. that should be enough for you to see that you're not bad. the relationship with her just turned that way.
best wishes to you.
2006-11-01 00:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋