we have mutual friends and must be civil to eachother once in a while. we broke up 2 years ago or so, and i finally am over it as of this past summer. however, when we have to spend time together, i'm always the one asking him the questions about his life. he has not initiated the slightest exchange since we broke up. he is absolutely emotionless around me.
I didn't cheat on him, I just told him he lied to me and I couldn't be treated a certain way and I told him to leave my house. since then he's been an icicle.
if he didn't care, wouldn't he be a little more receptive? you know, normal? i have a feeling things will never be normal between us.
I guess my question is:
What could be the reason he is acting like this, and what could I do to make the situation more smooth?
i know he is not interested in me and that's not what i'm fishing for. it's just really uncomfortable to have an "enemy" around when hanging with friends. it's like a super-dislike
2006-10-31 15:55:54 · 12 answers · asked by carlaerickson 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Listen - for some people when it's done, it's done, End of story. They feel no obligation to be nice or even civil to you. You cannot "make" the situation any better so don't even waste time trying. Just recognize the fact that you are being the bigger person and others will catch on.
2006-10-31 16:00:24 · answer #1 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even if everything you say about the relationship is true - and keep in mind there are always three versions of a two sided argument - yours, his, and the truth - you may be expecting too much to have a pleasant friendly relationship with someone that you have accused to his face of being a liar, told that he didnt treat you well, and thrown out of your house! You may be looking at it as though it is all over and should be forgotten because you no longer have feelings for him. He, on the other hand, may have hurt feelings about the way you spoke to him, or maybe he is just embarrased because what you said was true. It is unfortunate that you have friends in common and must continue to see each other. First, don't involve your mutual friends in trying to get them to "see how unfair he is being to you". Given the fact that you say you are over him, give the guy some space and just say a friendly hello, then move on to the next person at the gathering. There is nothing written that says you have to engage each other in conversation. Maybe he feels uncomfortable when you ask about his life now --- so don't. Just be friendly enough to acknowledge him, yet respect his boundaries enough not to push him to be friends with you. Doesn't sound like it will happen.
2006-10-31 16:12:58 · answer #2 · answered by kathy s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because of the fact people see him as being under her. they think of he's white trailer trash, no longer worth of being with a "princess". it could have something to do additionally with the reality that he acts like a black guy, which bothers some people, yet i think of the prevalent reason is that he's perceived as low type. If he had some expertise, people may well be keen to forgive him. If he released an album like darkish area of the Moon tommorow, all may well be forgiven.
2016-11-26 21:28:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are like that for the most part after breaking up. Maybe you hurt his ego and he's still hurt about it. It doesn't sound like he hates you though. Honestly, I don't know.
I do know that it's not a good idea to stay friend's with an ex (unless you were REALLY good friends before-hand).
In the future when you two are around each other, don't pay any special attention to him. Act like he's just an acquaintance. After a while he'll lighten up about things.
Also, don't worry about it. No guy is worth stressing over (especially if he's your ex). You'll find a guy that actually deserves you. :-)
2006-10-31 16:06:13 · answer #4 · answered by misschaos489 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would stop worrying about his presence and have yourself a good time. Life is to short to worry about getting the cold shoulder. As you would with anyone treat him with respect, if he doesn't return this courtesy and becomes a problem excuse yourself and leave. Let your friends know you would prefer not to include him in future plans. If he does treat you with respect and courtesy then there will not be a problem.
2006-10-31 16:01:14 · answer #5 · answered by Supplicant 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
carla: What you are experiencing is a guy, who wanted to be with you for sex. He was obviously, having sex not with only you, but with other girl (s). Since he got caught "lying" to you and you got rid of him, he lost his steady sex with you. He has lost respect for you and is wallowing in self-pity because of being dumped. Guys are "conquer" oriented (minded), and look at climbing into bed with a girl as a conquest. Once the guy has had his "wants" met ... the girl is just that - another notch in his "belt". You will never re-gain respect from him because he doesn't respect himself ... so you would be wasting your time ! Chalk it up to experience and keep away from him - the guy's a jerk !!! He is in love with himself NOT you !!! All the best to you.
2006-10-31 16:10:29 · answer #6 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok... try:
* Break-up sex (it DOES workJ)
* Try not to talk to him. Pick up your cell phone and call a random friend when you're alone around him
* Don't ask him questions about his personal life, just current events or events on the life of a friend
2006-10-31 16:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by RivatricHistrionic 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like the monkey on your back....first of all..KNOCK that MONKEY off. you Can do this by not even trying to have small talk. Your mutual friend knows what happened...and you are all ready the big person in their eyes. You went your way...and if he hates you for it...he shouldn't have lied to you. You don't owe him anything...when you ask questions it makes him even smaller in his eyes. Don't care. Move on...leave that monkey in the jungle...
2006-10-31 15:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that he does care and is afraid to show his true feelings and, therefore, has to be cold so as not to show his true feelings.
Have a private talk with him and ask why he treats you so coldly now.
2006-10-31 16:00:03 · answer #9 · answered by snickle 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He set himself up to be with your for the rest of his life and you flaked on him. I can see where he might have a bit of a problem with that. That you can't is a very big part of the problem and means you are doomed to repeat this pattern over and over again.
2006-10-31 15:59:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋