I feel like I am being pulled one side to another when it comes to my parents. Dont get me wrong, I love them both with all the kaos. But my dad only calls me when he want to talk about his problems with my mum, it seems he tries to find out information to get my mum in trouble so that he will not pay child support for my brother who lives with my mum. (I live in a different home.)
I feel like Im being used because he never used to call or contact me until now, when he's going on about how bad my mum is. What on earth do i do?
2006-10-31 15:39:22 · 10 answers · asked by Melissa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you are a very observant young person!!!
tell your dad, "dad, i love you but i really don't want to discuss mom. it makes me very uncomfortable." if dad pushes it, change the subject!!! simply don't answer just start talking about something else. dad will get the hint.
2006-10-31 15:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow that sucks. I had a similar experience with my parents except I happened to be living with my Mum. Anyway the only choice you have is to confront your Dad about it. Don't get angry, and make sure you let him know you love him and aren't taking sides, but that you're a child of both parents and as such, you really don't want to hear the dirt on each of them. Furthermore, your mother isn't behaving this way and you find her behaviour makes the situation less stressful.
2006-10-31 15:45:06 · answer #2 · answered by Kble 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's the worst thing a parent can do. You ARE being used. I hardly know what to suggest--except perhaps to tell him you don't wish to talk about your mum. Period. & refuse to do so. If he keeps going on, you'd be surprised what your ABSOLUTE SILENCE at the other end of the line can do. Do whatever you can to not be involved. Simply don't allow it. I was (was!) married to a man who had the most beautiful son--his son & I were the greatest of friends, & when my husband's X would call him, he'd call her terrible names in his son's presence. I'd ask him later, (not when his son was there), NOT to do this--but--
It's very common for "parents" to do this--& so harmful to the kids. Perhaps you could let him know, (nicely), that you don't want to discuss your mum with him, & then REFUSE TO DO SO IN FUTURE. You can love them both, but don't let either one use you as a buffing zone. Okay? Best of luck...
2006-10-31 15:54:05 · answer #3 · answered by Valac Gypsy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sit your Dad down and talk to him. Tell him that him and your mum mean a lot to him and that you love her just as much as you love him. Tell him you would not let anyone else run him down so you would appreciate if he not run your mum down. Tell him that you are sick and tired of being in the middle of everything and you wish that they would work it out between them. He may be a little shocked at first but he'll realize what he's putting you through. goodluck
2006-10-31 15:45:21 · answer #4 · answered by tina 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem when my mother and step dad separated. I became their person to vent to and was put in the middle.. It sucked and I finally had to tell them both that I didn't want to be in the middle anymore and I refused to let them talk about each other to me.. They eventually got they clue and stopped.
Just tell them how you feel.
2006-10-31 15:45:56 · answer #5 · answered by Talina N 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YOU KNOW THAT YOU NEED TO DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE.NEED TO TELL DAD THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE PUT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS PROBLEMS WITH YOUR MOM.BEEN MARRIED TWICE AND I MADE THE SAME MISTAKES .ALMOST COST ME A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY OLDEST.KIDS ARE THE INOCENSE AND WE AS THE IDIOT PARENTS DON'T SEEM TO PUT THEM FIRST ,LIKE THINKING ABOUT WHATS BEST INSTEAD OF GETTING BACK AT THE OTHER,OR USING ONES OWN CHILD TO ASK QUESTIONS THE OTHER IS AFRAID TO ASK.AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TRY TO BE NEUTRAL AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK BE BLUNT .ITS NOT YOUR FIGHT .
2006-10-31 15:57:32 · answer #6 · answered by GENE B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you refuse to hear any of it in the future. It should be only your parents' business. Let him know that the same applies to your mom.
2006-10-31 15:43:30 · answer #7 · answered by Daystar 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you will just have to be firm with your dad & say that you love him & that you love your mum just as much & that you don't want him to ever talk about their problems with you anymore
because it upsets you
2006-10-31 17:27:21 · answer #8 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this happens alot with divorced families, the same thing happened to me
you need to tell your dad that you love him but this makes you uncomfortable, he should stop
2006-10-31 15:42:59 · answer #9 · answered by damnitjannet09 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My answer is run away. Show them who's boss. You poor dear.At least your dad calls you.
2006-10-31 15:47:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋