we've been living together for 4yrs and have had good times and bad times but in the last 3 months our relationship has been at a stand still , we have fallen into a rut and cant get out of it , you see she doesnt want to have sex ( thats been happening for 2 months ) she doesnt want to do anything new , she want to go out with her friends and drink and go home and sleep so now im not seaing her alot either i work alot so inbetween my working her working and her drinking its hard to spend time with her , and she wont stop her drinking i've already talked to her about that , but i just dont know what to do about it .... i really miss our sex , i really miss what we had , so any advice on what to do ??? would be great
2006-10-31 15:25:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One day you sit her down and you ask her, Do you want to break up? I get this vibe from you that you aren't interested in seein gme anymore.
If she acts aloof and uninterested, then you have your answer. Her issue is that she is a coward and instead of doing the respectful thing and telling you she wants to break up, she wanted to make you do it for her.
If she acts surprised, then you may have a chance. You need to point out how neglected you feel. Make sure to use I statements and not point the blame even IF she is at fault. Example, "When you go go out all night with your friends, I feel neglected. It makes me feel like you don't care to put any time or work into our relationship." It may sound like your weak, but its a guaranteed guilt trip awakener in a woman.
You may have to walk away from her.
Hope I was helpful. Goodluck.
2006-10-31 15:31:36 · answer #1 · answered by moderncutthroat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to me it sounds like she is seeing (sleeping with) someone else. If she doesnt want to have sex with you and shes out a lot, something tells me that she isnt always out late with her friends. More like another person she is seeing. Specially if you two dont spend time together because of work or whatever, you are definitley drifting apart . . . you should just try asking her straight out.
2006-10-31 15:33:49 · answer #2 · answered by Esme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU HAVE BEEN WITH THIS GIRL FOR 5 YEARS, THEN
YOU KNOW EACH OTHER PRETTY WELL. SO JUST TELL
HER THAT YOU WANT MORE AND THAT YOU MISS BEING
WITH HER, AND THAT YOU DONT LIKE THE DRINKING,
IF SHE WANT THIS TO WORK OUT THEN BOTH OF YOU]
NEED TO REALLY TALK ABOUT WHAT GOING ON. IF SHE
WANT THIS TO WORK THEN IT WILL IF NOT THEN MAYBE
TIME TO MOVE ON. IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY THEN WHY
STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU NOT GETTING WHAT
YOU WANT AND NEED.
2006-10-31 15:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it is over bud, there are other fish in the sea my friend don't drive yourself crazy go get some strange and you will feel different the next morning I guarantee
2006-10-31 15:28:42 · answer #4 · answered by Whynotguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People get tired. If you are nagging her about it - it will just drive her further away. Tell her you are concerned that it's falling apart, and see where the cards fall. My guess if that it's a phase or she is being lead astray by her drunken mates.
2006-10-31 16:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she might be cheating on you. If she is capable of going out with her friends and not you???? She is telling you something. You need to read between the lines and move on.
2006-10-31 15:27:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try telling het what you just told us,if no change it's time to plan to move on.
2006-10-31 15:29:30 · answer #7 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude your relationship is almost over now count on it in 3 months or less it will be over.
2006-10-31 15:27:47 · answer #8 · answered by markshere4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's getting it elsewhere, is terribly depressed, or maybe pregnant! Ask her which one it is.
2006-10-31 15:30:58 · answer #9 · answered by Ginger Sling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not u who have the problem..give ur gf space n try to make her tell u whats bothering her...
2006-10-31 15:28:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋