me and my bf live an hour and half apart on the weekends we try to meet eachother and spend the day together. last week was really hard because we didn't get to see each other so i bought this beautiful card that said i miss you so much and i wrote him a whole page letter and put it inside of the card. he called me a couple of days later to tell me thank you. tonight on the phone ... something brought up the card and i asked him what he did with it. and he said he read it and then threw it away! i was so pissed off. his reason was that he said he thought it was ridiculous to keep christmas / birthday cards. and i was like but that wasn't just any card. i spent alot of time on that card. and he said well honey i loved it i read it and thought it was great. i just don't think there is a purpose in keeping stuff like that. so, is this normal? if he had sent me a card ... i know that i personally would have kept it forever i didn't get mad at him, but i am kinda pissed why would he do that
2006-10-31 14:55:53 · 15 answers · asked by doodlebug 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
guys do that...
well most do...
my gf gave me a birthday card and i only threw it away b/c we broke up but im weird most guys arent emotional or dont want to be enough to value those things.
2006-10-31 15:00:19 · answer #1 · answered by rdcake 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, we really don't keep cards and stuff, no matter who it's from or its purpose. Most guys would rather hear his lover's voice then to read her thoughts. By throwing the card out, it doesn't symbolize him "throwing away" the relationship. Although it emotionally hurts the girl, guys just don't seem to see the importance of a card. I'm sorry to say, but it's true. Even though you truly care, cards are not a great way to express your feelings, rather a phone call can give a better effect.
2006-10-31 23:02:33 · answer #2 · answered by stonecold448 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Doodlebug, I am so sorry that he did that. It was not a refection of his feelings for you. It is just a guy thing. He could open the window of the limo and throw away the little figurines from the top of your wedding cake as you guys are pulling from the chapel on your wedding day and not think a thing about it. We women on the other hand would cherish that figurine for the rest of our lives! It would be in a vault somewhere! LOL. His throwing away that card was a guy thing. Most guys don't keep love letters or little mementos. Women tend to do that. I think what you did was romantic and thoughtful. He is thinking, yeah, she digs me. Don't worry. His throwing away the card does not mean that he is throwing away your relationship. Wish you the best! :)
2006-10-31 23:11:57 · answer #3 · answered by ME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys just don't think things like that are important. I remember being astounded when I moved in with my boyfriend because I found out that he had saved every letter and card I had ever sent or given him. But I didn't start saving things from him for a long time. So I guess that situation can go both ways.
2006-10-31 23:03:24 · answer #4 · answered by saphirepoet77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be pissed...this is just one of the many ways (most) men and women are different...guys don't tend to be as sentimental as we women...beleive when he said he appreciated it, and be content at that...don't be angry because he didn't treat it as you thought he should have, it became his card when it went into the mail and thus his to do with as he pleased...how much time or thought you put into it doesn't matter as he couldn't know that, and it wouldn't matter anyway as he opened it, read it, appreciated it, and discarded it...
When I was dating a guy years ago, I went on vacation for a month and missed him a lot, so I bought a bunch of postcards and mailed him one every single day (that the mail ran) thinking he'd think that was sweet...when I got home, the bulk of the postcards were in a pile of mail he hadn't gone through...when I got upset that he hadn't even read most of them, his reply was that he'd read some and thought it was nice that I missed him, but he really didn't get my desire to write daily...I thought it was sweet and would've been tickled if someone had done that for me...he thought it was nice at first, then silly when the cards kept coming...
Guys and girls just aren't wired the same...face it...realize it...accept it...and love 'em anyway...
2006-10-31 23:03:39 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am not sure how old you are (or he is) so we have to look at the maturity level of this guy (I am not saying he is immature but guys tend to be oblivious to certain things). I remember when I was with a guy a few years ago, I would always get mad that he would just leave my cards lying around his room with no intention to care about them or re read them as we as girls would do. People show their love for one another in different ways. Obviously, your guy's way does not have to do with words on paper but look at how he treats you in other ways. Does he tell you on the phone or when he sees you how much he cares about you/loves you. Does he do small things for you to show he cares even if it isn't a card like you did for him? He must not have realized how much writing that card meant to you to pour your feelings out to him. Mention it to him. If he still doesn't care, maybe you should figure out another way to get your feelings across to him. Possibly email would work so you can write your feelings with words, and not get upset if it gets deleted.
2006-10-31 23:00:56 · answer #6 · answered by Mia Anne *6.6.09* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it. It's just a card. You are going to drive him away. I would keep it too, but I wouldn't hold it against anyone for throwing away a card I sent. In fact respect their ability to keep clutter under control. Hopefully he recycled it. That would piss me off more! If he didn't.. Plus don't expect to understand how men think.
2006-10-31 23:01:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because boys are dumb. Look Im 27- I spend hours making the house look nice and he comes home and says "oh honey the house looks so nice....blah blah blah" Then kicks off his dirty boots, throws the newspaper all over and puts his drippy beer on the table when there are coasters LIKE 6 INCHES AWAY! It never ends, they only get worse as they get older so gets used to it. Long story short- THEY JUST DONT GET IT but it does'nt mean they don't care
2006-10-31 23:02:12 · answer #8 · answered by Shazzam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. Guys don't care about girly stuff like this. Only women do. We keep Hallmark in business. Send him a six pack of beer and a steak next time. He'll remember that.
2006-10-31 23:00:27 · answer #9 · answered by Ginger Sling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is not sure about himself his insecurity led him to destroy the card. it also points to his thought fullness You spent along time searching and the writing a lovely note. He does not care about these things. My advise to you is Find some one else this man is not your man
2006-10-31 23:03:13 · answer #10 · answered by R C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋