4 nuns are driving down an icy road when their car skids & overturns, instantly killing them all.
When the nuns arrive at Heaven's gate St. Peter says "Before I can let you into Heaven I have to know whether you have ever seen or had any sexual contact with a man."
The 1st nun, Sister Teresa, steps forward ashamedly "I have seen a man's penis". "Wash you eyes out in the holy water of the holy basin" says St. Peter "and you will be allowed into heaven". Sister Mary does this and is allowed into heaven.
The 2nd nun, Sister Helena, steps foward meekly "I have um... held a man's penis". "Wash your hands in the holy water of the holy basin" says St. Peter "and you will be allowed into Heaven" , as he is saying this he hears the other two nuns arguing over who goes next. "What is the problem?" St. Peter inquires.
"I should go 1st" shouts Sister Ann. "Why?" demands St. Peter.
"Well I aint putting my mouth in that basin after Sister Mary puts her fat ar*e in there" she replies.
2006-10-31 14:53:00 · 21 answers · asked by Vic 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
are you as cute as your jokes vic good one
2006-10-31 22:06:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three nuns go to heaven.
At the gates they meet St. Peter, who greets them and exaplains to them that because they have led such holy lives, they can go back to earth, live as another person, and be assured a place in heaven afterwards.
The first nun says "I would like to be the queen of england"
"A wise choice sister" says St. Peter, and with that, she disapears
The second nun asks "Can I be a man?"
"Of course" says St. Peter
The sister thinks a second and says "Then I would like to to go back as Neil Armstrong" as soon as she finishes her sentence she disapears
The third nun walks up to St. Peter and quietly says " I would like to be Sarah Pipalina"
St. Peter thinks for a second and says "sorry, I don't think I know who that is!"
The nun repeats herself "SARAH PIPALINA, I want to be her!"
St. Peter still looks confused, so the sister takes a small newspaper clipping from her pocket and gives it to St. Peter who reads it.
"Ah, I see!" he says
"But its not Sarah Pipalina, sister" laughs St. Peter "It was the SAHARA PIPELINE that was laid by 700 men in 5 months!"
OR try this other nun related joke:
A man is coming back from a night out and while on the bus home, he see's a nun. Now this guy is feeling a little frisky that evening, and he suddenly coins a plan!
When the nun gets of the bus, he follows her, and as he catches up with her, he says "SISTER!! I AM JESUS!!"
The nun turns around in suprise
The man continues "YES, I AM JESUS, AND AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR, I DEMMAND THAT YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME RIGHT NOW!!!"
The man is stunned that his plan works, and the nun hurredly leads him into a small park where she promptly has wild orgasmic sex with him.
After they're done, the man zips up his flys, and feeling very proud of himself waits till the sister is walking away and says "Sister, I have a confesion to make. I, am not Jesus, my name is Daniel".
To this the nun turns around and says "And I have a confession to make, I was actually on my way back from a fancy dress party. And my name is Steve"
2006-10-31 23:37:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
i would give it a 8 out of 10.
2006-10-31 23:06:53 · answer #3 · answered by MêLLy ßõï 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love that one hey was educated by nuns lol
2006-10-31 22:57:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok, always looking for new jokes
2006-10-31 23:44:39 · answer #5 · answered by ang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hadn't heard it...funny though
2006-10-31 23:28:25 · answer #6 · answered by ... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never heard that one before,sheer class!!!
2006-11-01 05:21:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I haven't.
That's a funny one.
2006-11-01 02:35:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad, but then not great either.
2006-10-31 22:58:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, heard this before.....but, never mind....these jokes are readable again and again and enjoyable.........hahaha.......LOL
2006-11-01 07:54:24 · answer #10 · answered by Electric 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋