We hadn't heard anything from my DD's dad for 2 weeks and 2 days, when his court ordered visitations are every weekend. He calls me today and makes a demand of wanting our daughter tomorrow and the next day after she's done with school. She goes to a preschool program in the morning. I told him no, that he needs to stick to his court ordered visitation and asked him why he hadn't called in two weeks. He gave me some BS story, and I told point blank, no that he asn't getting her until the weekend. Two hours later, while I'm getting my 11 year old twins settled into bed, he leaves me a message on my VM. Telling me that he's going to get our daughter after school tomorrow. Can he legally do that? When the court papers say weekends? I emailed her teacher and sent her a copy of the court papers telling her that her dad did NOT have my permission to take our daughter. I live in WI, btw. Can he take her? Help.
2006-10-31 14:41:38 · 18 answers · asked by Wisconsin Sweetie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Thanks everyone.
I don't have a lawyer at this point. Can't afford one.
I don't have a vehicle to make sure that he doesn't take his daughter. And her school is about 6 miles away from my house. A school van comes and picks her up.
The court papers specificially say weekends. Saturday 9:30 am til Sunday at 6:30.
And when he did take her weekends, he wouldn't have her back until 8:00-8:30. She's only three. So he would mess everything up.
That's why it's so impt. that I take him back to court. And to also share that he broke a part of the court agreed visitation agreement. He was supposed to call and make an appt with my daughter's ped neurologist and he NEVER did. IT's been OVER a year since he was told by the Family Court Commissioner to do so. What will that tell the judge?
2006-10-31 15:00:22 · update #1
Ooops... that last part was supposed to mean her dad was supposed to make an appt to discuss my daughter's medical condition and he never did. lol Sorry, that didn't make any sense.
2006-10-31 15:03:47 · update #2
To Nikki D,
I have given in to him time and time again. Letting him see her whenever he wanted to. All that does is create hardships with my daughter and my other children. He keeps her way too late.
Please don't try to analyze me from the Internet. You don't know me.
2006-11-01 00:02:54 · update #3
It would be considered kidnapping if he actually did take her. It would be one thing if it was an honest mistake and he didn't know. But since you have informed him AND the school about it...and the school should help you out. I wouldn't be suprised if he did try to take her if they called the cops too whether you were there or not...good luck!
2006-10-31 14:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by Erika H 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As long as the papers explicitly define his visitation schedule and state that any further visitation is at YOUR disgression then no, he can't legally take her. But, the teacher can't withhold his child from him. What you can do is have the teacher keep a copy of the custody agreement at school and should he attempt to take her call the police. I am a daycare provider and just went through this situation with one of the children in care. I live in WV so the laws may be a little different but probably not much. Good luck!
2006-10-31 22:50:30 · answer #2 · answered by jilldaniel_wv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have joint custody, then yes he can pick her up at school. Court ordered visitation is minimum guaranteed time to the non custodial parent by the court.
As custodial parent you are expected to give him every opportunity to spend time with his daughter. You are expected to strengthen their relationship, not alienate him from her.
I've got to say, you don't sound that nice. Your ex is her dad. You don't "own" her. You can't cut her in half so the court decided she should live with you.
I kind of understand why he might be hesitant to call your house.
TO THE ORIGINAL POSTER:
In response to the email you sent me:
If you claim to be a saintly mother then you should reword your question because you sound like a control freak who's out to make the life of her ex-husband (or boyfriend) a living hell.
Family court is flooded with those families and kids who hate their lives with parents fighting, criticizing each other and asking a ton of questions about the other parent's new boyfriend or girlfriend after a visit.
Those are the girls who get pregnant at 15 to get away from home. They figure a welfare check for a baby and living in a hotel room is better than living a nightmare at home.
2006-11-01 00:16:48 · answer #3 · answered by Kimmer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if the court states that he is only to see her on weekends then he can only see her on these occasions unless you say other wise.
if you make a point to the school which you have done that you are to be the only person allowed to pick her up from school then i'm positive they cannot let her go into someone elses care.
when my mother died my step father got custody for my brother ( dont know why) and my father is only allowed to see him once a month and my step father has say on everything else..... also when my mum died my dad was told by his lawyer that because he was biological father he could take him home when ever he wanted so he did, neother him or his lawyer knew that my step father had already been given residency and my dad was almost arrested for kidnapping!
my point is if he goes to the school and takes her and her school has been told she cannot leave with him he can be in trouble for kidnapping!
2006-10-31 22:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by Krissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way he can pick her up from school is if you have him on the list to be able to pick her up. If he is still trying to go against the visitation guidelines you can file for contempt of court. You can do this without a lawyer. You can go to the legal library and get all the forms you need. I would still definitely talk to the school and let them know about your situation so they can contact you if he trys to pick her up. That will only help if he goes into the school to try to sign her out. If he is by the curb and waits for her to come out after school they would have no way of knowing. So I would talk to your daughter, so she knows not to leave with him without your permission. Best of luck.
2006-10-31 23:56:38 · answer #5 · answered by butterflyangels03 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He shouldn't. Jus the fact hat he is so unstab;e wold really make me worry. I would make a point of being there VERY early so if he does show up, you'll know and be able to alert law enforcement.
I think he has to stick to what the courts ordered. And I would definitly be very careful.
I don't think you are out to make his life a living hell, it sounds to me like at the very least he is unstable, and the worste gets pretty darn bad. If your gut tells you that he isn't safe for her to be around, then you need to follow that up.
There are a lot of bitter people out there, many of them rightfully so, but as a mother, you worry about protecting your children and not about what someone can say ananmysly on a website.
If the visitation orders need clarified, fine, get them clarified. But two wekks with no word followed by demands of random time is unreasonable. Stick up for your kid.
2006-10-31 22:50:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOOD you told the school give a copy to the priciple as well so everone knows and make sure they know that he doesnt have permission. If he then tries to pick her up make sure they make him sign something that states this then you can take it to court and then he may lose visitataion all together. since he didnt do what he was told. Also make sure you keep every VM and message that he gives you. Tape phone conversations if you can aswell you can use these in court to show that he is harrasing you. and never scream or yell at him since you are taping them.
2006-10-31 22:55:48 · answer #7 · answered by rainamem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has absolutely no right to take her on any day accept the days specifically outlined in a court document. If he does attempt to take her on any other day he can be charged with kidnapping and have all his rights removed. Make double sure the school knows exactly what days he can pick her up and let then know that you are the only one that can tell them other wise.
2006-11-04 22:24:36 · answer #8 · answered by baby_angell_vt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the divorce give you sole legal and physical cutody of the kid's then no he can't but if it state that you have to share any type of information with him from medical thing's to educational then it is possible for him to do it and get away with it.Letting the school know he doesn't have your permission was the best first step you could have taken the next would be to inform the local police dept. so they have it in a report for you to have should he take the child off school property to have him legally held in violation of your wishes on his visitation.
2006-11-01 00:54:23 · answer #9 · answered by rsbalent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a teacher i understand your total frustration. Please go to the school office, secretary,, be nice, and let them know of this "hot" situation. Keep in close kind contact with the office and I think it will be resolved. I've been thru this scenario and one day we waited for the sheriff to come because a man demanded we give him the kids and it was the last day before Christmas vacation, so I stayed until late that evening until it was resolved as I would for any student for protection.
2006-10-31 22:51:23 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋