Breaking into the dating world?

Question

I'm a 19 year old college girl who's never had a relationship before, but I've wanted to break into the dating world for the last year or so. I wasn't allowed to date prior to arriving at college, so my romantic abilites are severely stunted and pretty much non-existent. As with many women, I also run into the problem of being attractive but attracting the wrong sort of men. As a black girl I'm approached by mostly rude, lower-class black men, but, being middle-class and well educated myself, I'm only attracted to other middle class men-- and, strangely enough, I've never been attracted to black men once in my life. These peculiarities have put me in quite the awkward position when it comes to dating, and as nearly all of my college friends grew up in the same situation I did, we're all quite stumped about how to approach this problem. Any advice from folks who have been in or who have heard of a similar situation would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. Clubbing is out; they're 21+ here.

Answer 1

I would say that it is time to "think outside the box"; be open to meeting and getting to know intelligent and respectful men that you would ordinarily not even give a second glance to. Relax and don't take the dating thing too seriously; you don't want to appear desperate. Keep your eyes and ears open to any red flags that may be telling you that a certain guy is all wrong. You are young, enjoy life, don't let anyone spoil that for you.

Answer 2

I'm not really sure why you're not attracted to Black guys but I guess it's your choice. All I have to say is that there are some very nice middle class Black guys especially in the college scene. I think you should take your time and give yourself a chance to be approached by a nice guy. Forget about color and focus on the person and how they treat you. Experience says that you only attract you what you are. So even though you say that you are middle class and well educated there is something in your auora that is causing you to come into contact with the wrong kinds of guys. When you say your romantic abilities, I would assume that you are referring to sex. Well, when I was College I had plenty of sex, but now that I am a Mother I view things quite differently. Do not put yourself in any predicaments that you may later regret. If you want to have sex, then make sure the person is worthy of expereincing these emotions with you. For most guys sex is physical, for women it is emotional. Once you take things to that level things start to get confusing.
You should have what I call the 90 day rule. Do not sleep with a guy before 90 days. This will give you enough time to get to know him and spend time doing fun things that will bring you closer together. It will also make you stand out from other college girls. Because you know that there is plenty of sex on a college campus.

Answer 3

I've got a friend like you , but younger. She's learned to let her special one flow to her. At least, I think that is what she's doing. It seems like it. Maybe you might want to try the library...if you are looking for well-educated people. Or a volunteer site. Just a thought.

Answer 4

Hi suger.
I believe you should be more realistic about your life . Your are only 19 years .You should focus on your school and don't thinkaout opposite sex .Having relationship is the goal of life.

Answer 5

why dont you start up a support group for woman like you that way yall can come up with good ides to help each other there a bunch of ways to meet new guys blind dates,social meetings you just have to get more involved

Answer 6

just ask ppl and learn from your experiences. oh and to start being attracted just go and hugg somebody you know and say you love em. make that a habbit and you will start enjoing yourself with other ppl.

Answer 7

it's like drinkling water darling

Answer 8

just enjoy