Ok, I live within close proximity of one of my former friend's grandmother. Every time she sees me, she keeps asking, "When are you going back to school (college)?" When I tell her that I don't have any plans, she keeps giving me the reaction of a concerned parent. She would give me this worried look as if she's concerned that because I'm not in school my life is over. I respect her because she's an elderly woman and she has known some of my relatives for a long time, but I don't want use profanity such as why can't you mind your .... you know what business. I really want her to leave me alone, but I don't know what to say to her. Any suggestions?
2006-10-31 13:11:30 · 10 answers · asked by stepcmpb 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I was reading some of the responses and some people were saying that I should be happy that she's concerned about my future. This is what I think, there are two ways to express your concerns to someone. First, you can either say that you are concerned about the person's future and if they reply with answer you disagree with, you can be respectful and say, "I wish you the best of luck." On the other hand, you can be judgemental and say something rude or give a rude reaction when the person's opinion about their lives differ from your opinion. The issue I am having with this lady is that I don't care about what she thinks and I don't need her to be concerned about me. As long as God approves, I am happy. Secondly, she has made her own mistakes and I am not judging her, so why does she think she has the right to judge me.
2006-10-31 23:32:08 · update #1
My aunt used to do that to me when she knew I did not want to be a doctor or a lawyer. She thought any other profession is a waste of time. I only told her that I decide what I want to do and nobody else so she never said anything.
I have my own business now and glad to be what I am now. You know what you are good at and that's all what matters, other people know what they know and they're not necessarily right about you anyway..
2006-10-31 13:44:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm, this is sort of tough as she probably doesn't feel she's being invasive and you don't want to offend her.
Next time she asks, try telling her that you have a few ideas of what you'd like to do with your future but you're taking some time off to figure out exactly what you want to do. You can say you're not ready to go to college and that you don't want to waste money or have your first year of college be an unhappy experience.
If she still persists, maybe gently say that you genuinely appreciate her concern but you're happy where you are in life and there's no need for her to worry. That way you're being direct but not rude in the slightest.
However, if she still continues after that, ask your parents if they could mention you're a bit bothered by her questions next time they see her. She might be more willing to listen to them.
2006-10-31 21:22:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never Give Critical People an Open Window to start speculating about Anything. (careers, dating habits, etc.) Of Course you have plans. Take a deep breath. While the air is coming in, say, "God help me!" Then smile and nod and say something positive! ("They're really liking my work at ... Soon I'll be..." )
Remember, when people get really old, they're just proud that they can remember something about you. Give her credit for that! Look at the link below. Now you can say, "Thank you so much for caring! I've been looking into online colleges, and.... " Add some details about courses, prices, and the convenience, list a couple of schools to choose from, and then ask her opinion. If she starts getting negative, ask her about college in her day. Honest to God, she's just trying to make conversation.
2006-10-31 21:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by shirleykins 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first thought is that perhaps you should be glad that someone cares enough to take an interest in you. No, your life is not over because you choose not to go to college. Many successful people don't have college degress. I think you should thank her nicely for her interest in you and gently tell her that you are happy and doing fine. Good luck.
2006-10-31 21:19:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
" I will not be going back to college"; keep it simple and use it everytime. Walk off.
Or "I'm waiting for this particular old neighbor lady to kick the bucket and leave me enough money to go. By the way, how's your health?" Walk off
2006-10-31 22:00:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
believe it or not---give her the two minutes it takes to ---put her two cents in...she might have a touch of alzheimers ect.
you might be making her day....
patience--learn tolerance--a great treasure await those who learn to deal with the elderly...
2006-10-31 21:20:24 · answer #6 · answered by cork 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I could not give you a better answer than Cork did. She is right on!
2006-10-31 22:00:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you respect her, then respect her enough to be honest with her. However, be tactful in how you do this so that you don't come across as rude or insensitive.
2006-10-31 21:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by eco101 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It would depend a lot on your ages.
How old are you, how old is the granny?
Who knows, maybe she's right.
2006-10-31 21:35:03 · answer #9 · answered by Gaspode 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I respect you........so back off before I change my mind
2006-10-31 23:56:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋